Boyfriend issues

What is the name of your state? Ca

I am writing for information about what to do with a boyfriend that will not take no for an answer. I have a 9 year old daughter and I am fearful that he will do something to hurt me and her. He may not be violent, but mentally he is destroying me. I have only known him for four months and he has lied and called the police on me..said I hit him, and I didnt. I went to jail, he bailed me out..cried in my arms for hours about how terrible he is as a person and now, he is threatening to ruin my life again, because I will not talk to him on the phone, because he feels I am disrespecting him....we continue to fight, and he wont let me break it off, without threatening to ruin my job, my life, my world...I am very confused as to how I handle someone with such mental anguish...This is the first time this has happened to me...and I am completely scared....I feel that continuing the relationship will sooth him over...because he says he will continue to lie in court unless I am with him. Now, I am already on probation and he knows that..and uses it to try and get me into trouble...WHat do I do...

hire an attorney to help you obtain a restraining order against him.

Why are you on probation?

Or hire a hitman and get rid of the problem for good.

Response

My probation is formal probation from charges having to do with embezzeling money from an ex-employer. Nothing to do with domestic violence or any violent crime. I believe he is a sociopath, which is quite scary. One minute he is fine, and then next he is off on a tangent, threatening to ruin my life, and then he doesnt want to break up and he loves me. Mind you this is relationship of only 4 months, and he feels that this is what you go through sometimes in relationships. Well, I have a nine year old daughter that I was with her Dad for more than 7 years, and it has never gotten this bad in 7 years as it has in 4 months with this guy. Thank you for your advice, I will seek help through a lawyer, I believe.. I dont believe the hit man is right for me to do, being a mother myself. I would never want to hurt the guy or ruin any part of his families life. ..I just want solace, and to stay out of trouble. He is a pilot ...and it scares me that they have these kinds of people soaring hundreds of people around the friendly skies.

you may also want to contact the folks at www.ndvh.org as well as considering some counseling. Your comment that your daughter's Dad was never as bad indicates that he wasn't that great - you need to figure out why you make poor choices in men. Before you do it again. Good luck.

Forget tje attorneys just go to the DA

Narcissitic Personality Disorder
First off check out the above web site sounds like you got a narcacisstic on your hands, second forget the attorneys save the money and buy a new deadbolt for your house. Just go to the DA's office file the report and request, once you got the order take a copy to your employer, be honest with them. Truth sets you free, you don't have to go into detail with them, as far as what he is holding over your head. Do the same with your probation officer, then if you want to make an impression on him, contact the local FAA administrative office and explain his bizarre behaviour and that you question his stability, the will poss pull him in on psychological review. This if a commercial pilot!
Finally, once you do this CUT HIM OFF!
And another thing from what you said I see no problem in your having a history of choosing bad men, you just had a fender bender. However I am curious if you grew up in a single parent home, this might explain your putting up with this guy and possibly willing to just keep it going to keep him smooth.
Check out the web site its packed with information and support I think I will really help! You dont need therapy he does!
Good Luck God Bless!

You don't need a lawyer. Go down to the county courthouse, get the do-it-yourself restraining order papers, and follow the instructions to fill it out and file it. If this guy is like this now, he will probably kill or maim you or your child eventually. If that's not what you want, then you have to cease all communications with him immediately, hang up whenever he calls, and call the police whenever he comes around. The crying and sweet-talking is all part of the cycle of violence, the so-called Honeymoon Phase. Check out http://www.sylviasplace.com/cycle.html or http://crisis-support.org/cycle.htm.

There is much more to this story than meets the eye. If you really want him out of your life...you must call the police each and everytime he comes to you and threatens you and press charges. You also need to get a restraining order, and like Justice said....tell your boss, the FAA, and your probation officer. AND....yes, cut the ties completely with him...unless you like what he is doing to you. He is only doing this to you because you ALLOW him to.