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stalked, but no proof

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bar10dr

Guest
What is the name of your state? WV

I've read thru a lot of the posts on stalking/domestic violence, and can't quite find the answer to my question. This might be long, please bear with me... Two months ago, I met a local man in a chat room... chatted briefly, didnt' think much about it. The next day a tornado hit our town, he called my cell phone literally as the tornado was passing over my house. Of course I was freaked out about the storm, and didn't even think to ask him how he got my cell phone number. We actually know a lot of the same people though, so maybe that's it. Who knows. Regardless, I was panicked, he asked if I wanted him to come over, I said OK. He then pretty much wouldn't leave. I went to the beach 2 days later (without him) and the minute I was home he came here and would not leave. He seemed nice enough, but had no job, and it didn't take long for me to figure out that something wasn't right. I tried to break it off... but he would not quit calling. I went to work at 6 that evening, and by midnight there were 24 missed calls from him and only him. Finally, I handed the phone to a friend, who answered and talked to him, asking him to leave me alone, and told him if he continued to call then I would press charges for phone harrassment.

So the next day he switched from the phone to emails, and IM's... endless amounts of them, which I ignored, untill finally I wrote back asking him to go away, telling him I would press charges once again.. I had to reply 3 times telling him I would press charges if he didn't quit. Apparently this pissed him off.

Then it went to hacking into my computer, my email, my messenger... I couldn't figure out why my computer was acting so weird, so I ran a virus scan, no virus found, but some kind of malware/spyware had been installed, that Symantec said was not a random spam type thing, but something that somebody maliciously put on my computer and it logged every single key stroke I had made. Every time I would try to uninstall it things would turn themselves on and off, like my messenger mostly... when that started, I called a friend who knows a lot more about computers than I and he put up a firewall, the whole time I was getting messages from his id (which had been ignored before this) saying things like "I can do this all night" and "haha, irritating, isn't it?" That's when I went to the police.

The police said since he technically spent a few nights here, it would be considered domestic violence type stuff... I have printed up the messages and the emails, and here's the catch. There's been no real "threat" made, and he even admitted that "his threats won't hold up in a court of law because he was careful how he worded them" and that if I tried to press charges he would press them against me for slander (I'm not afraid of that one) and harrassment for "making up these ridiculous charges" against him.

Everything was quiet for about a week, then Friday night on the way home from work, SOMEBODY (in a SUV I didn't recognize) got behind me, literally right on my bumper... this could not have been some random road rage, it was 3:30am on a quiet country road with plenty of passing zones and NO traffic other than us. Right on my bumper at 60 mph, I called 911... the person kept flashing high beams on and off and on and off, passed me, got in front of me, slammed on the brakes, I didn't hit him... continued on at 12 mph for a min, they pulled over and turned their lights out. I told 911 nevermind, I think they left me alone, and next thing I know *poof* headlights in my back glass again, right on my bumper... he went to pass again but got beside me, and started to run me off the road. I called 911 back, I was so shaken up I couldn't get the tags.... and then this person pulled off. Pulled right onto the road that this same psycho lives on. Too much to be a coincidence. However, I can't prove it was him.

So the phone calls start again sat night, continue thru yesterday and really exploded today. I answered the first not knowing it was him, told him I did NOT want to talk to him, so not only is he calling now, but his friends are too. Saying he's pressing charges against me for saying he's doing all this stuff, blah blah. I've read enough posts on slander that I'm not worried about that, however, how can I get a restraining order or do anything without being able to prove it's him?? This has been going on for the past 2 months, and I was only around him 7 days!!! This is ridiculous! Please help, I'm at my wits end.
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
First of all - call the phone company, and ask them what you need to do to track harassing calls, etc. That would be a start.
 

VG1013

Member
To have harrassing calls tracked, I think the police need to be involved. If I were you, I would file a report with the police anyway, and take my chances in court. If you don't do anything about him stalking you, it won't stop...and perhaps the next time you won't be so lucky.
 
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bar10dr

Guest
Thank you all so very much... Kat, I found exactly what I needed to get some "help" in that link... I've already printed ALL of the emails I've received and SENT asking him to leave me alone... I didn't realize what the laws were regarding any of this. Thank you all for taking the time to reply! It's such a load off to realize there IS light at the end of the tunnel!
 
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bar10dr

Guest
Sorry to bump this... but I need more help. I've made 3 police reports now, and a call to 911.... he's living out of state now.. (NC) and the cops here (WV) told me if I file for a restraining order I'm pretty well wasting my time, as they can't serve him out of state and it's not in effect till he IS in state. My current questions... (as the phone/internet harrassment is STILL an ongoing thing).... If I file here in WV for a restraining order, can I have a process server or lawyer serve him in NC? And if so, and the restraining order is "in effect," if he calls here from NC is he violating it? Same goes with internet harrassment? I could go on for HOURS of all the "coincidences" that keep happening that I cannot prove. However, the calls he's made that are in black and white on my caller ID, and the calls to my work, and the calls to my friends and family, (all to "work this out and prove he's not stalking me"), all of those I can prove. I'm fit to be tied at this point. As long as he stays put, I don't feel my life is in immediate danger. HOWEVER, he can just as easily jump in a car and drive right back up here. Either way, the ENDLESS phone calls (THREE MONTHS!!!) is driving me insane. The house phone is getting shut off. The cell number is changed. I can't change my work number... and I really dont' think it's fair that I should have to shut my computer off because he can (and does, and readily admits it) hack into it. All I want is for him to leave me alone. The law is really letting me down... not so much the law, but one slick mo'fo that knows how to abuse the system. ANY help would be appreciated!!!!
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
You may want to talk to your ISP to find out how you can protect your computer from being hacked, and also talk to someone at a reputable computer store about a firewall.

Regarding his calls to your work - speak with your boss and/or HR representative. Your company can file against him for harrassment and get a restraining order againt him.

Don't know the answers to the rest of your questions.
 

VG1013

Member
Check with your ISP to learn about their abuse policy, this is usually outlined in the customer service agreement. Generally complaints of abuse are sent to the postmaster or the abuse department. Be sure to forward a complete copy of the mail, including the headers, to the sysadmin. Most sysadmins will not hesitate to cancel the account of anyone using their ISP to send abusive, harassing mail, and will cooperate with other sysadmins to prevent future occurences. If your sysadmin does not take your complaint seriously, that may be a good reason to change ISPs. Also ask them to change all your info on your account and give you a new master s/n. A good firewall is a must, and don't keep anymore personal info on your puter.


Download and run a trial copy of one of these Trojan scanners:
PC Doorguard
HouseCall
Protector Plus
Trojan Remover

Email these people...they may be able to help you, [email protected]

If this were me...I wouldn't stop until I got results. This man sounds pretty sick to me, so I wouldn't take anything he does or says too lightly. Good luck
 

stephenk

Senior Member
Zone Alarm makes a very good and free firewall. go to their site and download the firewall. you can set it up so you are invisible on the web. i believe it is at zonelabs.com
 

VG1013

Member
Sygate is also a very good firewall and free. I have it and trust me...no one can get through, it's been tried.
 
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bar10dr

Guest
I want to thank you all for your replies... just feeling like somebody out there is willing to give advice REALLY helps... I've re-installed Armor2Net firewall, I had the free trial when one of these little instances flared up before... it seemed to stop everything, and foolishly, I thought after the free trial was up he'd given up and moved on. That is how I found the "hacker file"... msiexec16, stopped the process from running and closed the port. I contacted my ISP, and just like the police... they said there wasn't a lot I could do, as he "erased" his footprints. Gotta catch him in the act, and the tech support told me I'm gonna either A) learn to accept that he may be seeing anything and everything on my computer (him or anybody for that matter) or B) learn a little about hacking, what is and is not legal, and beat him at his own game. May be the only way to catch him in the act. He's admitted to somebody I know (who IS willing to testify in a court of law) that he did hack into my computer several times, and also sent that pic... said he thought he was sending it to me. He was on the phone with me at work, the pic was sent here. Regardless, tech support said he's admitted to what will get him 25-40 yrs in prison. Who knows. Problem #2- dealing with a small police dept with NO experience in this. The only questions I have that remain, is if I do file for the Restraining Order here in WV, can it be served to him by a process server in NC... and if I do, and he calls me here from there... would he be in violation of that order? I know he's back in town RIGHT NOW, hoping I they can serve him before he goes anywhere else. VG-thanks a million for the email addy... gonna email them right now. It really helps to know somebody is willing to try and help. The police are very apologetic about it.... but I do realize full well that I have no tangible proof, other than his bragging to one of my friends. Thank you all!
 
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bar10dr

Guest
Oh, almost forgot... the calls to work... I work at a bar. Just a little old neighborhood bar. He's been barred from entering and the problems there have stopped for the time being. However, my boss is willing to do whatever it takes to keep his employees safe/happy.
 

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