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grandparent rights

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catmodel

Guest
What is the name of your state? FL
Selected an open adoption two years ago, have written agreement with Agency. Biological Grandparents wish to send gifts to Agency to forward to new parents. Birthmother objects. Is there anyway to stop the agency from sending gifts? Do the grandparents have any legal rights to contact new parents?
 


nextwife

Senior Member
The birthfamilies legal rights terminated upon the adoption taking place,. The birthmother did enter into an open adoption agreement in which the adoptive family agreed to extent contact beyond the adoption. I do NOT believe that entitles the biological grandparents Grandparents rights, unless the agreement specifically granted any. Legally, the parents of the adoptive parents are now the grandparents, and might have some grandparents rights to pursue if they wished..
 
C

catmodel

Guest
I am going to agree with you. I need something in black in white that I can go to the Agency with to stop my parents from sending gifts. I fear it will confuse matters with their new child and I want her to have a normal life. The agency is forwarding gifts against my wishes and this is not part of my agreement. Is there anything I can do to stop this non-agreed communication?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I suspect, however, that it is up to the child's parents - her adoptive parents - to put a stop to it. This is no longer your child, open adoption or not. You no longer get to make decisions regarding the best interests of the child - her parents do. And if they should decide that they have no problem with your parents sending gifts - you have absolutely no say in the matter.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
I DO believe it inappropriate, however, for an agency to presume to send ANYTHING to this child from the grandparents without first obtaining the explicit permission of the adoptive parents, and I would be royally ticked off if my agency did this! Fortunately, my kid can't quite yet read, so she wouldn't know unless we allowed her to know.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I agree with you 100%, nextwife. But it's not up to the birthmom to yay or nay it - it's up to the parents. IMO, anyway.
 
C

catmodel

Guest
Thank you for your replies. I appreciate your time and effort to support my questions. I guess the only thing I can do is to write the new parents a letter explaining that I feel uncomfortable about my parents over doing it and sending multiple things throughout the year. You are right, if they accept it then that is their choice. If they don't then they can notify the agency. I didn't want anything to cause my relationship with the parents to change from what it is today. They are so kind and thoughtful and I have the best interest of their daughter in mind. I know my "parents" the (grandparents) only want to out shine me because they know I just send one gift only on Birthday and Xmas. My goal is not to buy the best gift but to let the child know that I love her and thinking of her. I know the new parents have the luxury of spoiling her and providing the best life possible for the child. Thanks Again.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Good plan. It is a shame that you must "compete" with your parents this way. I'm sure the material things are not so important to this child. If you wish to send a little something and can afford little, a poem or drawing is also something to consider that will be treasured? Best wishes to you. I'm sure you were conflicted in arriving at your decision, and I commend you for looking first at the child's best interests.

As an adopted parent, let me tell how very much we treasure our daughter and never take her presence for grated. We are very blessed to share our lives with hers, and when she is old enough to begin to understand (she was an orphanage adoption, so her birthmother was long ago out of the picture after relinguishing rights - before we ever came along) she will be made to know that the lady who gave her birth loved her and wanted what was best for her future.
 

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