I'm sorry if I was so forceful with my reply, but I learned the hard way that the saying"Never judge a book by it's cover" is true!!!I lost friends because I judged them, but my husband turned out to be the one I should of been judging yet I was blind with young love then went in to deniel. Most DV's are probably the real deal whether it is against the man or woman. And I agree that neither has a right to put they're hands on the other in anger. Another thing though is that in SC if police are called to the home for a dv they are required by law to arrest "someone" if they think that there is potential danger, so even if there are no marks. I know that policy may save someone's life but like in my case anybody can say what they want. It's one's word against the other. The reason I have a DV is because I was "advised" mislead that the only thing the charge affected was carrying a gun- no biggie, I don't like having them around. No one told me that it was a felony. I'm a homemaker w/3 kids, hubby controls all the finances, he was not going to hire anyone because I had to go and involve the cops. Basically I was on my own. I waived my rights to an atty cause i thought my family was going to give me the money but that fell thru and i was told that since i had waived my rights in the beginning i was no longer eligible for a public defender. Wrong!! Too late now. So the arresting officer felt sorry for me because he believed that I was in a bad situation and was realizing what kind of man my husband was. He said that he talked to the judge and if I plead guilty to the charge in court the judge would waive the $1000 fine and/or both 30 day jail. Since I was severly depressed at the time and didn't no it -i could barely take care of me let alone the kids because the mental abuse was so bad and the lower i got the more i was losing any control of my feelings. Hopefully something can be done. Take care.