wills, deadlines and a greedy sister

What is the name of your state? What is the name of your state? I live in IN, my mother lives in GA. She died September 19.

My mother had a new will drawn up in the last 2-3 years. I am told she made me the executor, and also left certain things to me, that she cherished. She's told me for years that she had CD's for my children just the same as her other grandchildren, payable when they reach 21. My children are 6 and 8. All the others are over 21.

I live 1000 miles away, my sister lived 2 blocks from her. She had access to, and now has my mothers apt. in "storage". She has my mother's jewelry, checkbook, EVERYTHING....

I asked my sister about my mothers things when I went home for her funeral. I asked about a will, and she replied, "Momma didn't have anything left to LEAVE in her will. She had some CD's, investments, etc... (some kind of annuity) but she lost all of that during 9/11..."
While that may be true, her checking account had about 10,000. Her funeral was prepaid. Pretty sad since my father died about 8 years ago and left an estate of over 200,000 She had diamonds, sapphires, and rubies on every finger, necklaces, bracelets, earrings, etc... she had a rare Princess Diana porcelain figurine......... and a music box we sent her worth over 200.00.

My questions are:

1.My mom had a will, how do I find out where, etc... it could be??

2. I am told I was the executor... what happens if my sister reads it, and I am sure she has, and just decides to pretend it never existed? What happens if she just decides to "handle" everything BEFORE a will is ever produced? or worse, if she produces an older will?

3. Will whatever "court" it could possibly be registered in (there are 4 possible counties) be compelled to notify me? I am told probate courts will not read the will or probate it until ALL beneficiaries are notified. We just bought a house, whatever address the court has will be incorrect.

4. Is there a certain time period all of this is supposed to take place in? Time limits, etc?? She may just hold out until some sort of deadline passes.

PLEASE don't tell me to hire an attorney. I can not afford one, and the least expensive one I could find to handle this for me 1000 miles away wanted 1,000 up front or almost 50% of what my mother left me. THere must be a way to handle this without it costing me an outrageous amount!! I don't have it, or the funds to make several 1000 mile trips!!

Thanks!!

c'mon ya'll... no one can advise me?

PLEASE you guys, no one there can even tell me the first step to take??????

Is there any way you can find out who your mom's lawyer is? Maybe she had a friend who can help? If you can get the name of her (or your dad's lawyer), you may have some place to start.

I can only tell you some of what I've learned through my own battles but I do know that if you are listed as a beneficiary in the will (or executor), you are entitled to a copy.

In our case, my mom has been deceased for 11 months and we haven't been notified by anyone, including the lawyer re: what steps need to be taken to settle the estate. It could be due to the fact that the executor should be handling it himself, but nothing is happening.

Can you find out which bank your mom used? Maybe if you explain that you have reason to believe that you're the executor, they can provide you with some account activity or at least locate those CD's that are available for your children. You'll need to have their SS#'s available.

As far as the time line goes, I've heard so many different things and have come to a conclusion that unless it's specifically stipulated in the will, there aren't any guidelines for time-frames. I really hope I'm wrong.

Hopefully, there is a little something here for you to go by, or at least give you some ideas! Even if there is nothing left to disburse, but there actually is a will, you need to get a copy and if your sister has it in her possession, you may be able to request a copy via certified letter. Good luck!

Normally the will is filed (within 30 days after the death) at the county courthouse probate court, so check there first to see if the will has been filed. If it has been, you can order a copy of it by mail or by phone. If someone has filed to be administrator and is probating the estate without a will, then find out who the named administrator is and the address/phone number. You also need to find out from someone at the courthouse what the minimum amount of estate value must add up to before probate is required.

Sister's comment about Mom "not having anything left to leave in a will" is most odd and doesn't ring true. If she knows where the will is, she should be giving it to you (if you are named executor) so you can get it probated. The fact that she claims not to know, plus the fact that she now has access to everything makes me wonder if she somehow destroyed the will or is withholding it, and if she also got your mother to give her power of attorney before she died to give sis the authority to handle some of mother's financial transactions. You need to ask sister directl if she has the will to send it to you, and also ask if she has a power of attorney.

If she can't produce the will or doesn't know where it is, then withou a will, the estate is going to be divided up equally among the children, so you or a probate attorney you hire should immediately file papers to be administrator, which would immediately give the administrator authority to start claiming any and all assets. Or, if you wait around and do nothing, sister could also do the same thing (hire a probate attorney or file papers to be administrator herself) and then you would still receive your share of the estate within a few months. However, it doesn't look as if sister will be filing the will, since she has told you she doesn't see a need to file it.

Your sister's explanation about your mother "losing all of her CD's/investments/annuity during 9/11" is outrageous and stupid and unbelievable--exactly what does she mean by that? I don't understand that excuse. Are you going to be foolish enough to fall for it?? The CD's and annuities probably have designated benficiaries and you need to find out who they are. The investments probably don't have beneficiaries and probably add up to a few thousand dollars--there's the beginning of the estate right there.

The fact that you live out of state is a huge disadvantage for you, because the state law probably does not permit out-of-state executors, since they prefer that someone be available locally to handle paperwork and attend a few court proceedings. Shop around for a probate attorney that will take your case and tell them upfront that you can't afford to pay an upfront retainer (or be smart and get a loan from a bank or credit union for $1,000 to pay that fee--any smart attorney will realize that your share of this estate, after you find out what the assets are, would be well worth waiting to collect his fee at a later date after you get your check--this estate is probably more valuable than you think).

Your probate attorney would then be in the position if serving as executor to force your sister to provide information about the assets that she apparently is unwilling to give to you. It would be a bit foolish of you NOT to get the professional services of a lawyer to help you get through this probate. Don't assume that all attorneys are expensive just because the first one you went to was--shop around and get fee estimates.

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA ([email protected])

Greedy sister indeed: she obviously doesn't have any real intention of informing you of the exact nature of the estate assets and is hiding information out of spite or greed.

Give sister fair warning--inform her that if, within a 7-day deadline, she hasn't filed the will or filed in court to be administrator or hired a probate attorney to be executor/administrator, that you will have no choice but to get a probate attorney to get the estate opened up for probate. That will probably prod her into filing or hiring a probate attorney to do so, thus relieving you of the burden of hiring someone to do it.