Need advice on separation & divorce

What is the name of your state? New Jersey

I married a Russian lady 6 years back - my mistake - not a mail order bride !!! During past 6 years, she has been postponing to have a child on one or another excuse. Last year, when her 16 year old son from earlier marriage got immigration and then she told me "Now that he has come here, we can start our family". This completely outraged me as I then realized that she has been using me just to get her son out of Russia. Our relations have strained since the arrival of her son and its unbearable to live together anymore.

Since marriage, I have been the sole earner in house and even provided financial help to her old mother in Moscow. Now she is demanding 50% of everything. I would like to know how money is divided during separation/divorce ?

- I have been 100% earner during our entire marriage of 6 years

- We bought a house which has been 100% paid from my income

- Everything else in house has been paid for by me including furniture, bills, etc...

- I have been cooking my own food for more than half of the time

- She has recently started working and makes about 25,000 per year.


I would like to know your opinion on :

1) How can I start Separation process ?

2) Do I have to apply for separation in court or just formal letter will be enough ?

3) How money and property would be divided ?

4) Does she has any right on my money earned before our marriage ?

I appreciate your advice in advance.

Thanks

RS

Check out this site:

Unfortunately, from what little I read, NJ is a community or equitable property state. The divisions are determined by the amount of property the value and the duration of the marriage. So yes she will be entitled to some of the property etc.


http://www.divorcesource.com/NJ/index.shtml

1) How can I start Separation process ?

*A: Go to the court house and ask for the paperwork.

2) Do I have to apply for separation in court or just formal letter will be enough ?

*A: See above answer.

3) How money and property would be divided ?

*A: Community Property state. 50/50

4) Does she has any right on my money earned before our marriage ?

*A: If you can prove it was acquired before the marriage she shouldn't have any claim to it. However, if you can not prove it to have been before the marriage, she is just as entitled to it as you are.

Besides,
If you have been the sole provider, then she is accustomed to not having to work and being taken care of. She can easily get alimony out of you.

We're both foreigners and don't know much about local US laws. I will appreciate any help/guidence on this issue.

I don't have problem giving her fair share. But, I want to know how our money and assets would be divided under following circumstances :

- She has not earned a single penny for entire duration of our marriage ?

- She was never even interested in raising family. No kids. Her only interest was getting immigration for her son.

- I even did my own cooking for more than 50% of our time together. So she did not even helped as homemaker.

I would appreciate if someone can provide some guidelines.

Thanks

RS

If you have been the sole provider, then she is accustomed to not having to work and being taken care of. This means that she can ask the courts to award her with alimony and half of everything. As long as she doesn't know that, you should be fine. It doesn't matter what the grounds for marriage were, the point is you are married, you took care of her and made all the money. Yes, as awful as it sounds, she is entitled to half of everything.

My work allows me to move from state to state at end of each project (due to end this Dec'03). Since the money involved is fairly large, I won't mind suffering another 2 months and moving to another state before starting separation. I would appreciate if someone could suggest which are divorce-friendly states where property is divided based on individual contribution to marriage rather than simple 50-50 as in NJ.

NJ is NOT, I repeat, Not a community property state. I don't know if this helps your situation or not.

See http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcelaws/newjersey.shtml

Drop the tags if you "cut and paste".

AMEN cyana...I was divorced in NJ and it is NOT a community property state, the property was split 50/50. Also, you must be married for over 10 yrs to get spousal support in NJ...temporary spousal support may be given, which will only last for about 2 yrs. That site you gave to the OP is a good one...it will answer all his questions.

Thank you much for all the info you provided. Have one more quick question.. what is the difference between "Community property" and "equitable property" states ?

Seems like in both cases, post-marital property is simply divided 50-50 without any significance to each person's contribution. Is that correct ? Why do they have so many criterion


Thanks again,

RS

"I'm out of estrogen...and I have a gun"

That's why I'm getting out of my marriage quick!