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My rights as POA

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E

eephoenix

Guest
What is the name of your state? NC
My gm is 101 years old and has appointed me durable poa. She has complete mental capacity and makes all her own business decisions, I just execute them according to her wishes. She currently lives with my stepmother because that was my father's (my gm's son) home and where she has resided for the last 30 years. I was recently told that she should be living with me or in a nursing home if I was her poa. I admit, I have offered my home to her, but she says she doesn't want to move just yet. I'm inclined to agree with her because she has been there for 30 years. My feeling on this is that I don't have any right to force her to move anywhere seeing how she is mentally and physically stable. My understanding is that it is only when she becomesunable to care for herself or make decisions that I must step in a move her either in with me or a snf. I think where the resentment is coming from is the stepmother. However, i will add that my stepmother charges my gm a modest "rent" to live there, which covers groceries. All of my gm's other expenses are paid for by me out of her account. So, I don't see the problem with her not actually living with me. Is there any legal precedent which could clarify this? I'm a little confused as to whether the comment was made thinking that maybe my gm was an incompetent invalid and I was not doing "my job" properly by letting her live elsewhere. Since this is not the case, what should I say?
I apologize for the long query, but hope that someone can help,
Thanks
 


Dandy Don

Senior Member
So you just automatically accepted what this person told you on face value without even questioning it? Stepmother is probably jealous because you have POA and she doesn't, which cancels her plan to get access to any assets. Maybe she is tired of caring for the grandmother, but if she is getting rent then that helps soothe those feelings somewhat. Be cheeky enough to ask the person who tells you she should be living with you: "Where is it written that what you are saying is true" and see how quickly they sputter around and then shut up.
 

lwpat

Senior Member
I am assuming that your father is dead and that your stepmother is now taking care of your grandmother. It would not be unusual for her to feel that your grandmother is a burden and that she should not be saddled with the responsibility.

If she is only getting enough to cover the groceries then it is also an economical burden on her as well. I do not know the status of your grandmother's assets but if she is able you should consider paying at least enough to help cover the utilities, etc.

It may also help to take your Grandmother on some day excursions to give your stepmother some relief. You will also benefit from the time spent.

The other issue is who owns the home. If your stepmother owns the home she has every legal right to request that your Grandmother move out. Caring for a 101 year old person is an extremely difficult task that you can only appreciate once you have performed it yourself.
 

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