How do I go after an abuser?

What is the name of your state? CA

I'm new here so bear with me. I know certain forums have their own etiquitte.

My wife was repeatedly abused by her stepfather when she was in grammar school 25 years ago. Her mother was aware of what was going on and never did anything about it.

Today this sick man is living his life without any consequence while my wife struggles to put it out of her mind.

She now wants to go after this guy and I support her decision. It's the right thing to do.

This isn't about money. We don't need a dime from this guy. We want him to face his crime and we want him exposed to his community. If he got away with it before, he could still be doing it.

Does anyone know how to get this process started? He currently resides in Texas or Oklahoma.

Thank You.

I am close to both states, give me a physical description...

My question: is there any proof of the abuse, any witness and that is if the SOL applies and has not been exhausted. I believe there is legislative action in the works to remove the SOL for cases as such and have read other cases when the SOL had expired charges were still pursued. But the majority of those were abuse by the clergy....

Possibly you can contact the prosecuting or district attorney for the state/region in which the abuse occurred.

SOL's typically run out in three to ten years depending on the charge.

I'm not sure what can be used as proof other than the word of my wife and her mother. After reading other posts I'm now aware of the SOL problem. Recent news reports of adults bringing up past abuse with priests etc. is what got us thinking that we could do something. We're more interested in exposing this guy as opposed to seeking proesecution at this point. (Prosecution would be icing on the cake)

I appreciate the reply.

The problem with "exposing" him is that it seems you have no actual proof. Your wife could well find herself on the wrong end of a slander and/or libel suit.

Can you give me examples of proof?

Police reports, doctors' reports, CPS reports, medical records from a therapist, testimony of a school counselor or teacher. Unfortunately, without any sort of documentation or more than just her/her mother's word it becomes he said/she said. She should, by all means, speak with a local attorney to see if there's anything she can do. But perhaps a greater help to her would be to get therapy to help her put that part of her life in her past.

Good luck to you all.

I 'confronted' my abuser.

I was abused as a child. Sexually.
When I was about 23, I called up my abuser, and confronted him. I brought up all that had happened, and of course, he denied it all.
I just kept at it... I wanted him to admit to the abuse. Of course, I didn't know what to expect.
I got the satisfaction of making him 'speachless'. Finally, I did what I wanted to do. I confronted him, and not in so many words, but I finally felt closure. I made him "speachless". And for me, this was enough.
I can now talk about what happened, I know that he's beyound the law for this. But I feel that there is closure. I have since forgiven, but NOT FORGOTTEN.

It could help your wife to write in a journal, talk to counslors, and talk very openly with her own mother. Especially if mom KNEW what was going on. She'll have issues with this also. Even though she may not think so right now. Maybe someday, when she's able, she can either go visit him or just call. She will need to decide what SHE wants to do.

This is very hard for her, let her make her own decisions on how to deal with it. I understand you are only wanting to help her, but let her do it... Just give the options, but don't feel bad when and if she resists them. It was REALLY hard for me to do this.

I wish her the best of luck.

Thank you for the responses everyone. We both appreciate the advice.