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Stepchildren want to be adopted

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cushman350

Guest
What is the name of your state? Texas
My stepchildren want to be adopted be me. The biological father( 38 yrs. old ) is the non-custodial parent. He pays his court ordered child support when he works, which is not often, lives with his mother and they live with grandma. He is very vocal about "his chidren" at times. He is of low moral character with other illegitimate children. My stepchildren, twins 14 and one 11 years old would like to have their last name change to that of mine. Does the bio-father have to give up his parental rights or can the children initial something for either name change or adoption to take place?
 


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hexeliebe

Guest
The biological father( 38 yrs. old ) is the non-custodial parent
So far nothing here to argue.

He pays his court ordered child support when he works, which is not often, lives with his mother and they live with grandma.
He pays CS which equates to 'contact' legally. The fact that he lives with mommy and granny has absolutely no bearing on your right to adopt.

He is very vocal about "his chidren" at times.
So am I? And what does that have to do with adoption?

He is of low moral character with other illegitimate children.
Your wife slept with him and had children with him. What does that say about her?

My stepchildren, twins 14 and one 11 years old would like to have their last name change to that of mine
And what is stopping them? You don't have to adopt them for that to happen.

Does the bio-father have to give up his parental rights or can the children initial something for either name change or adoption to take place?
Two questions with VERY different answers. As to the adoption, the father either has to voluntarily give up his parental rights, or the court must strip him of those rights. And nothing in your post would give the court reason to do such.

As for the name change, the children don't have to do anything. However, your wife, the children's mother, can petition the court for a change of name for them.

To be very specific, the statute regarding Termination of Parental rights in Texas is :Family Code §§ 161.001; 161.003(a)

The circumstances That Are Grounds for Termination are:

Abandonment or Extreme Parental Disinterest
Abuse/Neglect
Mental Illness or Deficiency
Alcohol or Drug Induced Incapacity
Felony Conviction/Incarceration
Failure of Reasonable Efforts
Abuse/Neglect or Loss of Rights of Another Child
Sexual Abuse
Failure to Maintain Contact
Failure to Provide Support
Child's Best Interest
Felony assault of child or sibling
Murder/Manslaughter of sibling child

Also, after reading the entire text of the statute (which can be found at http://nccanch.acf.hhs.gov/general/legal/statutes/sag/full_text.cfm?table=tblTermin&text_state=TX&state='TX'&queryfields=0,1 ) I find nothing in your post to substantiate such a move by the court.
 
C

cushman350

Guest
Being more specific

I think maybe I came across in a way I had not intended. The comment about child support is only to illustrate a pattern. The last time he chose to be employed the Attorney General collected it( $320 total for three children a month) because he, on his own, was not. But still no bearing on the question.

The comment about "his children" was made because in the past five years since I have been their stepfather, the biodad has not chosen to develop any sort of positve fatherly relationship. No calls on birthdays, doesn't come pick them up to spent time with them, no school plays or other functions. We live not ten miles from his residence. He is free to interact with his kids whenever he choses. The children do see him because they want to see their granny and the biodad happens to live there also. He frightens them because of his drunkness.He uses speed and crack and has been arrested for the same( this has been kept from the children's knowledge).

The questions about name change and or adoption came up entirely from the children. They are not blind nor emotionally unobservant. Neither my wife nor myself are pushing this on the kids.We are not trying to strip the biodad of his parental rights. He has free access to his children but has chosen and made the present situation as it is now. If I were trying to come between my stepchildren and their biodad in an improper way and later in their lives they realized the truth of my actions I could not bare the guilt. I want the best for these children. I want them to become the very best they can become in this world. I am there for them 24 hours a day.I take this responsibility willingly. They don't deserve to follow in their biodad's footsteps in any way.

Now to your comment about my wife. Yes, she did sleep with him during the five year hell of their marriage. He would not keep a job. She worked, tried to run her own business with her parents financial help and he drank and snorted the money away. During these chemically induced states the verbal and physical abuse would escalate to intolerable levels. Five years was enough and she divorced him. He is still the same person, she is not. Now hexeliebe, WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT HER? SIR! or whatever?
And he does have four illegitimate children by two other women which he does not support. I believe this may hint at a moral character that I wouldn't want taught to any children I was responsible for, how about you?

To your seemingly condescending comment about what is stopping them( my stepchildren ) from changing their name, that's why I am here. I don't profess to have an extensive legal knowledge. Am I correct in that you are saying my wife can have their last names changed by petitioning the court and the biological father has no say in the matter? No permission needed from the biodad?

About the adoption issue, if something should happen to my wife ( who has a permanent health problem ), she does not want her ex to have any control in the raising of our children, for obvious reasons( at least to us ). And if ( I assume ) I should for some reason divorce her, I would be obligated to child support( maybe I should ask her).

As to the list in the Family Code, Termination of Parental Rights, the ex seems to weigh in on two maybe three examples. I say again, we are not trying to strip the biodad of his rights, he has done enough on his own to probably have that done.

Thank you for your time, I think?
 
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hexeliebe

Guest
Now hexeliebe, WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT HER? SIR! or whatever?
You didn't get it did you? The POINT is, if you come here trying to make a case of one parent or the other being 'morally corrupt' then the mud slings both ways. MEN AND WOMEN make choices. PERIOD!

Am I correct in that you are saying my wife can have their last names changed by petitioning the court and the biological father has no say in the matter? No permission needed from the biodad?
Yes. The forms you will need can be located at
http://www.ilrg.com/forms/namechange-minor/us/tx
and they will need to be filed in the courthouse in the county where you reside.

About the adoption issue, if something should happen to my wife ( who has a permanent health problem ), she does not want her ex to have any control in the raising of our children, for obvious reasons( at least to us ).
I'm glad you said 'at least to us' because everyone who comes here is a stranger and we only know facts as they are presented. Would you like to count the number of times one side has called the other side a moral reprobate? It gets old.

As for your question above, without a termination of parental rights, if anything were to happen to your wife, yes, the father would get the children and there's nothing you can do about it short of trying to establish he is unfit. Still, without adoption (which will not occur without the TPR) you are a legal stranger to the children and as such, will stand little chance of guardianship or custody.

And if ( I assume ) I should for some reason divorce her, I would be obligated to child support( maybe I should ask her).
If you are successful with the TPR and adopt, then yes, all rights and obligations of the bio-father are terminated and if you should divorce, those rights and obligations fall on you, their legal father.

As to the list in the Family Code, Termination of Parental Rights, the ex seems to weigh in on two maybe three examples. I say again, we are not trying to strip the biodad of his rights, he has done enough on his own to probably have that done.
That's a decision for the courts, not me nor this forum.
 
C

cushman350

Guest
tail between my legs

I guess I didn't "get" it. I kind of went to lock and load. I should have realized that in this forum words are only that. My opinion is only that. In the court, the truth is only that which can be legally proven, actually "true" or not. In my world truth is what one can have when one has nothing else and in the that there is honor. Pretty cheap currency in today's arena. I just care about the kids.

Thanks again for your time and I think an apology.

Cush
 

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