Ex Husband

What is the name of your state? Colorado
I havent heard from my ex husband in 2 Years. We have three children together, he has had nothing to do with any of them, we have never recieved any support.
My ex learned that I will be getting re married and my new husband wants to addopt my kids. Now he is trying to get visitation. My question is, is this something I should worry about.
If I fight for him not to see them is it a lost cause because he is their father.

And your question is..... what? Your fiance will not likely be able to adopt until you've been married for a period of time (like a year+) or without your ex's consent or a court order. If your ex now decides that he wants to be a part of the kids' lives, it's unlikely that a judge will terminate his rights so that your husband can adopt them.

You haven't read a lot of posts here, have you Mdmommy.....

Mdmommy9800 said:

I hope your new husband realizes that if you all dont work out he will be the one paying child support for children that arent his. Adn when the tough gets going he is the one responsible for YOUR KIDS.


*Response: If her new husband adopts these children these will be THEIR children not just hers. If he does not adopt them it is HIGHLY unlikely he will be paying child support for them


Sometimes I wonder if after a while of these men adopting other womens children like this if they dont regret what they have done.


*Response:If he is a real man and is invested in the relationship with the children, no why would he regret it?

And Another thing doesnt mean their father their REAL DAD doesnt love them. I am in this sorta situation myself. So if you all are gonna start bashing me go ahead. Doesnt bother me one bit.



I mean is it a revenge thing that these women want there new men to take over there exs children????? It always makes me wonder too..... all these women have these kids with these men....... you picked um...... you slept with them.... you had children with them....... now you want them gone completely....... hmmmmmmmmm. I just cant understand people sometimes.

*Response: Of course, "these women" would be any woman who has a husband who adopts her children? I guess they are all out for revenge..evil b!tches.


these guys were good enough for you before now they are just a bunch of well I will keep it clean. Im just curious to know. Though its none of my business.

*Response: You are right it is none of your business...so why not post some law to back up your whining?

And I am not just saying this about this one person. I am talking about all of these women.
*Response: That is great to know! I am certain all of us remarried woman wanted to know you were generalizing all of us and not just the bad one's!

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Woohoo go on with your badself! I think I will leave you to the others.

reply to mdmommy9800

I really dont like to get in to this with people I am not close to but here I go. I got pregnate with my daughter out of wedlock. I was with my boyfriend all through middle and high school. When I was 5 months pregnate he ditched us. He called every now and then never came to see me never helped me in any kind of way. When my daughter was almost one, I had a boyfriend nothing serious we dated for a couple of weeks. Then my ex came down to see us he said he realized he made a mistake he wanted our daughter to have her dad. So we got married. He became very abusive. One year after we got married our neighbors finally called the cops on him, he was put in jail for six months. I filed for divorce and custody. He did not show up for one hearing nor did he fight for custody. Two weeks after I left him I found out I was pregnate, which would be my twin baby boys who turned one in November. My ex has never met them he has never asked about them or sent any of the three a birthday card or Christmas present. He does know about them I called him when I found out I was pregnate again when I found out there was two and again when I had them. His Deal has got to be either he doesnt want me with someone else, he doesnt want the kids to have someone else or both, since that is the reason he came back into the picture both when my daughter was one and now. Now if you are ever in this situation then you can judge me, but until then I dont care to hear your opinion!

Hon.... If you're old enough to get PREGNANT, you should know how to spell it. It is not PREGNATE! A man can IMPREGNATE a woman, but then she is PREGNANT. PREGNANT. PREGNANT. Not PREGNATE. Sheesh.

CMSC said:

Woohoo go on with your badself! I think I will leave you to the others.

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You are obviously not in the same situation if that is how you feel (mdmommy)
I feel wonderful that another man who has no kids is willing to take on my three. Why should I let someone who has never even seen my twins (left when I was 2 weeks preg) ruin that for me?
He is not their dad and no he does not care about them. Any caring parent would not abandon his 2 yr old daughter and his pregnate wife and only come back because another man is in the pic.

First I'm going to post to the OP.. then I'll address the other issue.

I hope that you have documented everything that has gone on since your divorce... you can't imagine what help that will be for you. How long has you and your finance' been together? Stealth was correct in some states you must be married for an X amount of time before a step-parent adoption... however sometimes that can be avoided if say you lived together for a long period of time before hand. Is there a standing order for visitation right now? If so that needs to get modified. Fight for NOTHING less then supervised with the defense that he needs to reestablish a relationship with the kids first before taking on visitation alone. This act will prove if he's really wanting to be a father or he's just doing this cuz he wants his way. Make sure to try to get someone from the court to supervise... BD would be required to pay that person for the service. Also put in a stipulation if possible that after so many missed visits he must go back to court to modify yet again so that you are taking these kids to a visit and wasting everyone's time and he not show. Let the adoption issue go for a bit. Most states required One year No contact and No support before an adoption can be done even if bio contests... however ONE check or one phone call IS contact and makes it null and void.

Now... on to the poster that automatically assumes that All women going for TPR and step-parent adoption are lumped in a pile. Sitting on the desk in front of me RIGHT now are the papers to be filed for MY husband to adopt my two children with my ex. NOTHING has prevented my ex from seeing or supporting my children but HIM. He's over $22,000 behind in child support, hasn't seen his children since July of 2001 and waited ten months to call in April 2002(initiated by me BTW) and that was the LAST time they spoke. He's told my children that he's dying and won't ever see them again. Did I think he'd ever do this when I was married to him??? HELL NO... if I did I wouldn't of been with him let alone had children with him. Do I like it that the man I had children with treat them as if they don't exsist?? Hell, he pretends he doesn't know my address and two years ago sent my youngest boy a birthday card to his sisters house and signed his name.. Not Daddy... Not Dad... His NAME!! Now.. if tomorrow I walk out and get hit by a truck my ex can automatically come and take these kids out of their home, their school, and away from their friends and from the ONE man who's showed them how a father should be. My husband and I have been together for 4 years. I could of filed for this a LONG time ago. If you think that TPR and adoption are easy choices to make you are wrong. This is one of the hardest decisions my family has had to make. AND yes... this was a WHOLE family decision. Not only does it prove me to be a failure in picking someone to have children with but it totally legally eliminates biological ties. I don't recommend TPR to everyone... but I do see when it is IN THE BEST INTREST OF THE CHILDREN and that's what the courts think about.

stealth2 said:

Hon.... If you're old enough to get PREGNANT, you should know how to spell it. It is not PREGNATE! A man can IMPREGNATE a woman, but then she is PREGNANT. PREGNANT. PREGNANT. Not PREGNATE. Sheesh.

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Oh scr u i am not typing fur english im trien 2 get it done fastr. What do ya think about them apples

All it tells me is that you're as ignorant as you come across.

stealth2 said:

All it tells me is that you're as ignorant as you come across.

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Maybe I am but why should that matter to you

No matter how you cut it, you will lose. So instead of posturing and raising your children in the same ignorance that appears in this thread, learn that children are not possessions and that it took two of you to make them.

He will get visitation. Even if he never pays a cent in support.

Them's the facts m'am.

hexeliebe said:

No matter how you cut it, you will lose. So instead of posturing and raising your children in the same ignorance that appears in this thread, learn that children are not possessions and that it took two of you to make them.

He will get visitation. Even if he never pays a cent in support.

Them's the facts m'am.

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No he wont

Sure he will. You say "no he won't" but the only option you will have if he has a court oder for visitation is don't send the kids. But that's hardly an option considering the consequences that go along with this. Loss of custody, jail time, etc. It will happen. These people know what they are talking about. If you are here for advice, you probably have no where else to go for help. Don't piss off the only people that can help you right now. What you "feel" should happen and what the LAW says will happen are two VERY different things.

No he wont

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Really now? And would you like to tell that to the judge who will be hearing the case.

"Your Honor, I don't want him to have visitation!"

Judge: "What YOU want and what the law tells me I have to do are two things missy, now shut up or I'll give him custody too."

Sound mean? Too bad. Because I've seen it happen more times than you might want to believe.

Quit living in a dream world and step into reality. The child has a father. And until that father or a court terminates his rights, he has as much RIGHT to visitation, custody and child support as do you.

Regardless of what you KNOW.

Now grow the hell up and quit playing games with this child's life.