Modify child custody

What is the name of your state? Illinois My situation started in 1995 when my new spouse and children moved out of state without knowing that I needed the courts permission. The move was for financial reasons, not to keep the kids from their father. After the move my ex and his new wife decided to become more interested in the kids than when I had lived only 4 blocks away from him. I actually believe it was because she can't have children of her own. To get back to the point, he took me to court. I returned to Illinois numerous times, several of which he didn't show up for. To make a very long story short, I was told through my attorney by his attorney that the next court date was a statis hearing only and that I need not come up from Florida. Within 4 days I received a letter stating that I was in contempt of court and the children will now be in custody of their father. No legal visitation was established because I was not able finacialy to gaurantee times to fly the children down. I have now moved back to Illinois 2 years ago and have tried to civily go through my ex to have the children spend time at my home but it is not working because his wife interferes and say they can not come down to my home. I can not afford the retainer fee for a lawyer and I am going to try to modify the custody order on my own. My children both say they are desparate to live with us and to get out of that house and away from the step mother. My children are 14 & 17. My 17 year old son tried to leave on his own last week but his father threatened to call the police and report him as a run away. We are desperate for any suggestions. We need to be a whole family again and I hate being so close to my children and not be able to see them because of the female that wrecked our marriage to begin with. The kids even resort to sneaking over after school and anytime they happen to be away from home. I don't want them to be lying like this but they want to see me, their half siblings and stepfather. Please, any input would be greatly appreciated. My son says he can not hold off til June, when he will be 18. Signed, Heart Broken Mom

"I was told through my attorney by his attorney that the next court date was a statis hearing only and that I need not come up from Florida. Within 4 days I received a letter stating that I was in contempt of court and the children will now be in custody of their father."

What did your attorney tell you happened that resulted in your ex getting custody of the kids?

Why is this posted in the Domestic Violence section?

The letter I had received said I was in contempt of court for not showing up after being told i need not be there because it was a statis hearing. I told the lawyer I was lied to and wanted to report this to the Il Bar Assoc. He must have panicked, then told me maybe it was his mistake. The judge retired a few weeks later and within months my ex's attorney was disbarred for exchanging favors with females. I believe something fishing happened to me. Thanks for your interest. Not sure how this ended up under Dom. violence.