Step-Parent Adoption

i'm from CA

my husband is ready to adopt my 2 kids. the bio-dad lives in AZ and is willing to give up the kids for adoption. do we have to file termination/relinquishment of parental rights before the adoption proceedings can start???

Contact a family law attorney and the TPR and adoption can be done at the same time. It will cost somewhere between 800-1000$.

flyinhigh1171 said:

i'm from CA

my husband is ready to adopt my 2 kids. the bio-dad lives in AZ and is willing to give up the kids for adoption. do we have to file termination/relinquishment of parental rights before the adoption proceedings can start???

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My response:

Why on Earth would your husband want to adopt your children?

Does he know, or did you tell him, that he would be legally "on the hook" for them?

Are you just trying to find a "deep pocket" because the AZ bio-dad won't support the children?

"Love" has nothing to do with the legal aspects, by the way. The fact is, he's taking care of the children anyway. So, what's YOUR reason for allowing your husband to adopt them?

The way I see this is you're just looking for another man to "LEGALLY" be responsible to take care of your children in the event of divorce. That translates to golddigger.

IAAL

IAAL I can't speak for this particular poster, however I will tell you that not all parents looking for a step-parent adoption are looking for the money supplied IF there is a divorce. Yes I know someone that adopted his wife's child and 2 months later she filed for divorce... however in my situation I'm having it done because the bio father in my situation does not see or take care of the children and yet in the event of my death my children not only lose their mother, but their home, their school, their friends and the ONE man they know cares about them and has taken care of them

tigger22472 said:

IAAL I can't speak for this particular poster, however I will tell you that not all parents looking for a step-parent adoption are looking for the money supplied IF there is a divorce. Yes I know someone that adopted his wife's child and 2 months later she filed for divorce... however in my situation I'm having it done because the bio father in my situation does not see or take care of the children and yet in the event of my death my children not only lose their mother, but their home, their school, their friends and the ONE man they know cares about them and has taken care of them

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My response:

Then, you have the bio-father's rights terminated to make sure that he doesn't get your children upon your death. The court would listen to your husband's Petition for custody then, and because he will have been their "psychological parent", the court would award custody to your husband. And, because of the "termination of parental rights", there would be no way in hell that their bio-father would ever get custody.

But, you DON'T "use" your new husband as a "deep pocket".

IAAL

Ok.. I agree with this theory and would of done a TPR without the step-parent adoption.. however in the state of Inidana, where I am .. there must be a person, normally a SP, ready to adopt. I realize the OP isn't from Indiana.. however I'm just stating what happens in my state.

Well said, Tig - same is true in my state of MO and in many other states also...
There are lots of step moms and dads who want the legal responsibility because the bio parent being terminated is a lowlife, doesn't pay support, etc - but still has say in major decisions like health care, schooling and the like. Sometimes there are legal reasons like THOSE to consider - in our case the bio dad never paid support, never saw the kids, but wanted a say in health care and schooling choices - and called my DH at work constantly as well. My DH wanted NONE of us to have to have contact with the biodad and therefore, initiated a way to make legal what already was. He knew full well that he would be as you say "on the hook" if there were a divorce, but we have two other kids as well so he would be "on the hook" anyway....He preferred to have the legal say, the legal title AND the responsibility for ALL of our children equally. You can say that the name/love/situation don't matter, but in fact, these are humans, so they DO matter.

And, in our state, the only way to accomplish both our legal and family goals was to eliminate someone who used power but no responsibility, and replace him with someone who wanted both the roses and the thorns of our children.

Stephanie

Step Parent Adoption

This was supposed to be a new thread, sorry for any inconvience.

Re: Re: Step-Parent Adoption

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE said:

My response:

Why on Earth would your husband want to adopt your children?

Does he know, or did you tell him, that he would be legally "on the hook" for them?

Are you just trying to find a "deep pocket" because the AZ bio-dad won't support the children?

"Love" has nothing to do with the legal aspects, by the way. The fact is, he's taking care of the children anyway. So, what's YOUR reason for allowing your husband to adopt them?

The way I see this is you're just looking for another man to "LEGALLY" be responsible to take care of your children in the event of divorce. That translates to golddigger.

IAAL

Click to expand...

Yes, my husband knows he would be financially responsible for them and it was his idea in the first place. He doesn't want to lose his kids to the bio-dad in case something happens to me.

"Gold digger"

I misunderstood, sorry.

tackett2004

Aside from the fact that nothing in your post has any relevance to this poster's questions, you need to stick around a little longer before making such assumptions.

IAAL is trying to get this poster to THINK about all the legal ramifications in a step-parent adoption. HOW he does it is of no concern to anyone except himself and the original poster.

retracted

Pfaffing85690 said:

tackett2004

Aside from the fact that nothing in your post has any relevance to this poster's questions, you need to stick around a little longer before making such assumptions.

IAAL is trying to get this poster to THINK about all the legal ramifications in a step-parent adoption. HOW he does it is of no concern to anyone except himself and the original poster.

Click to expand...

I was actually responding to the comments made by flyinghigh1171 to people in this situation. My original/first reply was intended for another forum and I put it in this one by mistake. For this I do appologize. I am new at this. But, once my reply was posted (even though I did not pay attention and replied to the wrong post . If the lady from CA is interested, in most states, if the non custodial parent is willing to terminate his/her rights, the child must live in the home with the step parent for 120 -180 days. After that period the step-parent can petition to adopt the child, usually through family court. For the next 3 monts, a social worker will be assigned to your family and will make periodic visits to the home and sometimes the child's school. Many of your family members may be interviewed also. When this process is final (in most situations) it is left up to the faimly court judge to decide wheter or not the non custodial parent can terminale his/her rights. Although, in most states, you do not need an attorney to have rights terminated, it is highly suggested that you do. In my opinion wanted your new husband to adopt in no way makes you a gold-digger.