Daughter in prison

What is the name of your state? Ohio
My daughter is jail for domestic violence. She has been tried 3 times but husband is the one who starts it and when she defends herself he cries to the police. He has the 3 children. He has an admitted drug and drinking habit (Cocaine, pot, ect.) HE also has a Civil protection order on him and the kids -not because he needs it but just to be mean. He has hit his own mother who is the one really taking care of the kids. They have moved and we can't find out where they are living.
Haaas my daughter a prayer of getting her kids back? What should she bbe doing to help her. She is really a good mother but he is a jerk. I can get quite a few to make statements in her behalf. Should I write to to judge. Her public defender sucked. He in fact probably was instramental in getting her locked up for 6 months. She got her GED and is doing everything she can to get counseling for her anger and whatever else she can. What can I do to help her?

bloominlilac said:

What is the name of your state? Ohio
My daughter is jail for domestic violence. She has been tried 3 times but husband is the one who starts it and when she defends herself he cries to the police. He has the 3 children. He has an admitted drug and drinking habit (Cocaine, pot, ect.) HE also has a Civil protection order on him and the kids -not because he needs it but just to be mean. He has hit his own mother who is the one really taking care of the kids. They have moved and we can't find out where they are living.
Haaas my daughter a prayer of getting her kids back? What should she bbe doing to help her. She is really a good mother but he is a jerk. I can get quite a few to make statements in her behalf. Should I write to to judge. Her public defender sucked. He in fact probably was instramental in getting her locked up for 6 months. She got her GED and is doing everything she can to get counseling for her anger and whatever else she can. What can I do to help her?

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My response:

"She is really a good mother but he is a jerk."

Yes, I believe you. That's why she's the one sitting in jail, and has been a guest of the county on other occasions.

By the way, who's living in the trailer while she's doing time?

IAAL

No you don't understand

This is her first time in jail..she has been abused by him before and then when shhe fights back he calls the police. In our city whoever gets to the phone first gets the other in trouble. She IS a good person. I resent your implications.
Trailer? No.. he can't keep a job because he can't stay out of the cocaine and booze. They lived with me for 8 months and he went thru 3 jobs all because he wouldn't get up and go to work. I'd go out and find him and his friends stoned to the gills on my porch and his reasoning was if they did outside it wasn't in my house. He is the monster. He beats his own mother. He is using the kids to further hurt her. He doesn't care for them. His mother is doing that. She has been in rehab quite a few times herself and still drinks.
Why do I bother with such crap as this?

The problem is, your daughter IS the one who's in jail on domestic violence charges while he's not. Since it's not the first time she's been up on (and convicted?) of such charges, it's not going to look good to a judge. Your writing to the judge is not going to do anything at all. You're not a party to the case from any standpoint. The best thing you can do is hire her an attorney and a counselor. The attorney to help her get something better than supervised visitation when she gets out, and a counselor to help her figure out why she continues to respond to her ex in a way she knows is going to be detrimental to her (and ultimately her kids).

But I suspect that her chances of regaining custody aren't great, especially if the DV was in front of the kids - she's probably looking at supervised visitation when she gets out for at least a period of time.

It was not in front of the kids. Do you consider trying to break the husband's hold of my daughter's hair while she was trying to drive them home because he was too drunk abuse? He was trying to get her to wreck the car by pulling her haie so she could not reach the steering wheel. She finally got the car stopped, literally kicked him out and drove off. The only stupid thing she did was to come back for him. I have pictures of her after the beatings he gave her. I also have a phone message from his mother telling me to tell my daughter that he had beat her again and she was going to her mother's. He must put these 2 women so badly that they end up falling under his spell and obviously the cops must be convinced as well. Am I the only one not blind?
She fights back because she did see me abused by her father and her oldest brother told her to never let that happen to her so he taught her to fight. He was killed by an intruder to his home trying to protect his family.
I don't know why am responding to this again. It would take a book to explain my life and God could explain why I am still functioning and not in an insane asylum considering what I've been thru. I'd rather be Job. I could deal with his agonies. They were mostly physical. The pain of seeing my family suffer is unbearable. I feel like my curse is upon them. Don't feel you have to resond to this--no one has the answer. At least one ray of hope for any of us. One step forward and ten back it seems.

Why do you get the feeling that you think we're putting the blame on your daughter? We're not. But the problem is that she HAS been convicted and she IS in jail. Those are going to be troubling factors to a judge when she tries to regain custody. Presumably she presented her evidence during those trials and it didn't go her way. The photos you have would only be helpful if she had also reported the abuse to the police. His mother? You yourself said she's a drunk - how credible would her testimony be? How likely is it that she would testify against her son?

What she really needs is a good lawyer.