child custody issues

during mediation today my ex and the mediator laughed at me and the mediator asked him what he wanted and basically agreed with my husband. when my husband was not going to get his unreasonable request of a week for christmas where he would take her back to his parents house in michigan (we both live in CA) and he insisted it had to be at least 7 days from the 20 to the 27 so me and her sister could not see her at all then my husband threatened to ask for a hearing for full custody because he was not going to get what he wanted the mediator said it did not matter that he was threatening me or that he had repeatedly used these kinds of threats throughout our marriage especially the threat of taking her to Michigan an not letting me ever see her (his family has money and i do not they would help him get a good lawyer)i aggreed to all the terms he laid out and i feel so bad he has succeeded in pushing me around again the marriage was very emotionally abusive he never quite over stepped his boundaries he has spit on me and thrown things but never hit me the mediator said none of this matters and cowered and accepted it what can i do? if he does get physical custody by some chance he will move to Michigan. he hasnt been very envolved in her life up till now and told the court i would not let him be. Because the judge questioned the amount of child support we had put down (a very low amount, but he works for himself and he threatened to file for sole custody if i didnt agree and i didnt yesterday to get to the point he called and threatened me again because i did not agree with his amount. I dont know if i should accept this agreement all of christmas vacation or not i really do have much more to lose than this if he were to get full custody. but if i accept it and dont go back to court he will always threaten to go back to court and try for sole physical custody. i brought these issues up with the mediator but he said he did not want to here it and that he just wanted to know what days my husband could have please if any one happened to read this i know it is very long and probably confusing i dont know what to do my daughter is only 15 months old still breastfeeding she was born prematurely i feel due to the stress he placed on me during the pregnancy even my midwife told me to leave him when i had the baby the last few months since he has been out of the house she has rapidly gained weight and is much happier there is no more yelling and arguing accept when he visits i almost forgot i had to call the police on my husband during his last visit because he was breaking things in my moms house and calling me names then he grabbed the baby and ran for the front door to leavehe said he was taking her to michigan i told the mediator and he said threats dont mean anything it did not matter at all my husband can be the most charming man around other people though everyone just thinks he is wonderful before i go on again i will just ask if you have any suggestions please help i am currently looking for a job and i can not afford a lawyer.

Your post is confusing because you are not using paragraphs or punctuation.

Anyway, providing you are not abusing the child his threats are just that. You also do not need to listen to the mediator and do not have to sign anything. It will then be up to your ex to file a petition into court to try and force it.

The abuse is irrelevant unless you have proof. Ensure that under no circumstances do you have any unrecorded contact with this man. Email, letter or voice recorded conversations.

Do you have a current court order giving you physical custody ? because if not, DO NOT allow the child out of your sight. If you do have a court order giving you physical custody then it is unlikely he can change that without a major change of circumstances.