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What are his chances for custody and mine for support?

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CarrieJean

Guest
I live in Massachusetts and am the mother of an 8 year old girl I have taken care of alone from her birth. Her father moved away while I was still pregnant and I did not see him again until she was 5. I have been going through the department of revenue to try to get child support since she was a baby, but they have had a difficult time locating him and don't seem to be in a big hurry since I do not and have never gotten welfare of any kind. I have just received notice that I have a court date for support. He said he will quit his job before he will give me anything. Do I have any chance of ever receiving anything? Can the judge order him to find a job? My daughter thinks the sun rises and sets on him. He says if he has to pay support he will try to get custody and make me pay support, citing the fact that I am white and live in an all white town and our daughter is ostracized because she is biracial and not being exposed to African-americans. Also, he was convicted about 5 years ago of indecent assault on a child 14 and under, which was a registered sex offense, but Massachusetts no longer requires sex offenders to register. Will this affect his chances for visitation or custody?
 


MySonsMom

Senior Member
He will not get custody from you. I'm not saying that he can't try, he could. But in all reality, he won't win. Don't worry about that AT ALL! You know, there ARE a lot of parents that threaten with overturning custody...and it seems like alot of custodial parents are very threatened by this. If you set aside your fear of losing custody, look at the picture. If there is nothing against you (abuse, neglect etc) it's hard to overturn custody..especially when some of these parents have been so inactive. Please don't let him ruffle your feathers...it's not worth the frustration..Continue to be a good Mother and you will be just fine. Good luck!

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~MySonsMom~
 
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whitsmom

Guest
I just wanted to say how sad it is when a parent decides, only when faced with having to pay support that they want custody of the child. Judges are wise to that game...it happens all the time. If he thought you were unfit to care for his child and that he needed to get custody, he should have said something long before now...not "coincidentally" just after being sued for support. Judges know that this is just a ploy to not be obligated to pay support and has little to do with the welfare of the child. It is just anger that you have the nerve to ask him to help support his child and was, in my case, a bluff to try to scare me into calling it off.

I agree with mysonsmom, unless you have some big awful skeleton in your closet like abuse charges or neglect or something like that, you have nothing to worry about.
 
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CarrieJean

Guest
There is nothing in my past. In fact, he has reported me to DSS and they came to investigate as required by Massachusetts law. A couple weeks after that, I got a letter saying the allegations were unfounded, so I don't think that is an issue. I also heard that Massachusetts has a minimum for child support, I believe $50 or $100 a month, even if the non-custodial parent has no income. I am wondering if they will really pursue this.He also thinks he will not have to pay support because I make a lot of money and he lives with a girl on welfare who has 4 kids (the youngest is his).
 
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Kathleen00

Guest
It never ends does it? But let me assure you of one thing. There is not a chance in hades of this happening to you. My ex tried everything in the book, lied like there were no tomorrow, and the judge saw right through the fasade. Indeed he threw him off the stand and called him a liar! Let me assure you especially w/a sex offense against a minor, there is no hope for him. Even if you have a skeleton or two in your closet, it would have to be monsterous to override his skeleton. Call his bluff, but carefully. I know in this state (Ga) there is a minimum child support, period. Whether the non custodial parent works or not, furthermore, child support can be awarded on what non custodial parent has the potential to make, not what he/she actually does, helps keep people from quitting their day jobs to flip burgers for less money. Contact someone from the Dept of Family and Children services and see where you can find an attorney you can afford. Legal expenses are great, but by far can offer you piece of mind that no amount of money can buy you. Also, if you have office skills, some attorneys will hire you and you can work some of your expenses off. I wish the best to you, do not lose a moment of sleep over this.
 
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CarrieJean

Guest
I am not really worried about him getting custody, but I really don't want him to even have visitation (he drinks a lot too). I was going to hire a private attorney, but every one I called quoted me a retainer of $1500, and that covers one court appearance only, so if he fights it, or asks for a paternity test, or doesn't show up, it will go up. That price is basically for uncontested child support. I am also concerned about medical expenses, mainly braces, which my daughter needs.
 
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usdeeper

Guest
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CarrieJean:
I am not really worried about him getting custody, but I really don't want him to even have visitation (he drinks a lot too<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

If he takes you to court for visitation, then make sure it is short, few and supervised.


 
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rowad

Guest
I am in a similar situation here in NY. My husband was granted unsupervisd visitation and I have since found out he is drinking every day and even showed up in court drunk...but did not sit before the judge. My two girls are 6 months and 2 years of age....and I'm worried. Any suggestions?
 

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