Not pressing charges in sexual abuse case

What is the name of your state? Texas


My 5 yr old daughter was touched inappropriately by her 11 yr old cousin. When we found out we brought her to the hosipital to have her checked out. The hosiptal has to by law report it to social services.

When we talked to the social service worker, our daughter said it happend twice before. Now the social worker and the detective assigned to the case wants to press charges, but we do not.

He is a realy good kid and we dont want him to be labeld a criminal. We think its just his body is changing and was curious. Good counseling is what he needs, not a criminal record.

It seems that the social worker/detective is insisted on pressing criminal charges. They want to bring our daughter in to be videotaped. Can we just say we dont want her video taped? Should we hire a lawyer to be present during the video taping?

Any quick responses is very much appreciated. Thank you.

how do you know the cousin has not done the same thing to other kids?

peldor said:

What is the name of your state? Texas


My 5 yr old daughter was touched inappropriately by her 11 yr old cousin. When we found out we brought her to the hosipital to have her checked out. The hosiptal has to by law report it to social services.

When we talked to the social service worker, our daughter said it happend twice before. Now the social worker and the detective assigned to the case wants to press charges, but we do not.

He is a realy good kid and we dont want him to be labeld a criminal. We think its just his body is changing and was curious. Good counseling is what he needs, not a criminal record.

It seems that the social worker/detective is insisted on pressing criminal charges. They want to bring our daughter in to be videotaped. Can we just say we dont want her video taped? Should we hire a lawyer to be present during the video taping?

Any quick responses is very much appreciated. Thank you.

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What the heck is your problem lady? The kid is 11 years old, this is not a "Curious" moment with a 5 year old and it happened more than once. At 11 curious moments are with your friends who are willing to be curious.

You should have your child in counceling instead of being worried about the cousin. What do you think will happen to him if you press charges?

He will get what he needs and get help, he's not going to prison.
However, if he is not stopped, he will be.

He has a serious problem.

Now the social worker and the detective assigned to the case wants to press charges, but we do not.

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And people wonder where sexual preditors come from.

I guess I should have clarified what he has done. He massaged her butt and touched her front. The doctor said no penetration. Physically shes fine. Mentally shes fine. She hasnt even given it a second thought. Now that she knows what he did was wrong, she knows to say NO next time.

I want him to get counseling, I just dont want him to be labeled a sex molester because hes not. Please dont judge a book by its cover.

I guess I'll end up getting a lawyer.

Your five year old was touched inappropriately. Please do the right thing and stand up for her. I'm not judging a book by its cover -- the 11 year old did something very, very wrong.

What is this world coming to? FIVE year olds shouldn't have to say NO to inappropriate advances.

peldor said:

I guess I should have clarified what he has done. He massaged her butt and touched her front. The doctor said no penetration. Physically shes fine. Mentally shes fine. She hasnt even given it a second thought. Now that she knows what he did was wrong, she knows to say NO next time.

I want him to get counseling, I just dont want him to be labeled a sex molester because hes not. Please dont judge a book by its cover.

I guess I'll end up getting a lawyer.

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Mentally she is fine? She is 5 years old. She only knows what has happened to her, she only knows what "MOMMY" wants her to know. You never once stated if she was in therapy, only that you want the cousin to get counseling. Your little girl needs the help.



You have no idea what your daughter will feel as she is growing into a adult. YOU have no idea if she has given this a second thought, nor will you ever. You are a terrible mother and your daughter should be in protective custody away from you. And you know what? I do not care if you Rant and Rave at me.

Your obligation is your daughter, you cannot tell me any counselor in this world did not recommend continuing therapy for her for a while. She is 5 years old lady.

You are a waste of motherhood. I will not post to you any longer, because reality is, there is not a damb thing I can do for your daughter, other than to shed a tear for this innocent little girl.

Paradise

How can you pass judgement? You are going by what the poster is saying not how they are living. This is a mother (how do you know that) that has taken the appropiate measures to make sure their daughter was not harmed in any way. And I think the parents ( OF ALL PEOPLE ) would know if their CHILD needed any further treatment because of this. And how do you know where the 11 year old cousin is living? Maybe that parent of this 11 YEAR OLD would put that CHILD into some kind of treatment without getting this SCREWED UP justice system involved and REALLY screw this 11 year old up in the HEAD...

OutForRevenge said:

How can you pass judgement? You are going by what the poster is saying not how they are living. This is a mother (how do you know that) that has taken the appropiate measures to make sure their daughter was not harmed in any way. And I think the parents ( OF ALL PEOPLE ) would know if their CHILD needed any further treatment because of this. And how do you know where the 11 year old cousin is living? Maybe that parent of this 11 YEAR OLD would put that CHILD into some kind of treatment without getting this SCREWED UP justice system involved and REALLY screw this 11 year old up in the HEAD...

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Well Ya DUH! I am going by what the poster is saying. You are wrong! Some Parents do not know what is best for their own child, for instance, this poster.

Outforrevenge

you are way off base. No matter what the problems with the boy is, the first concern should be that of the little 5 yr old girl. This mother, nor any mother knows what this child is thinking or how this will effect the rest of her life. If he is not punished and she loses anything, even something as small as to not be able to spend the night at a certain place anymore, due to this then she will feel she is guilty and not him. There are major issues and she needs therapy and understanding. This poster came here to try and protect the boy and gave the feeling of shrugging off her daughter. I understand he is just a child also, but any record would be wiped out when he was 18. He does need counceling, but he also needs to know the full extent of punishment allowable. If not he may do it again and again, thinking he will just get counceling.

OP think about this, if she didn't think twice about it, how can she be so sure how many times it happened, and to know it was inappropriate? I promise you it has been weighing heavily on her mind and she needs your concern, not the molester at this point.

I have a 7 year old cousin who was touched "inappropriately" by her 72 year old step grandfather. As far as we know, he'd never done this before.

Regardless, he is now tethered and you can find him on the Michigan Sex Offenders Registry.

Regardless, his wife (the biological grandmother) still thinks he is innocent, although the psychologists and police all believe she is completely believeable.

I don't know how an 11 year old and a 72 year old have different ways of "touching" little girls. They're both sick, they're both wrong, and they both should be punished.

Well, if I was 11 years old you could bet I'd be touching everything I could get my hands on, as long as it was fully developed and old enough to know what I was doing.

Son of Slam said:

Well, if I was 11 years old you could bet I'd be touching everything I could get my hands on, as long as it was fully developed and old enough to know what I was doing.

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You must belong to OP family. When nice counceling is all you get then you probably don't know any better.

Somehow people think that if they put a or a after an offensive post that it makes it all better.

It doesn't.

I Am Off Base?

DJOHNSON...
I think you need to reflect back on the other posts from PARADISE. That's way off base. This person did the right thing by taking their child in to be examined. If this parent FEELS that this child was not harmed then why go any further? Come on now... Do you really remember what the h&ll you were doing at the age of 5????? You really need to know what a person goes through from being REALLY SEXUALLY ABUSED. You are the one that wants this 11 year old CHILD to be labeled because he needs some counseling. WHY PUT HIM THROUGH our "PERFECT justice system" so he can really be healed.. Come on, you act like they really care.. All they care about is puting a person in LOCK up or detention so they can COLLECT... The mother of the 11 year old should put this child in some serious counseling BUT WHY CHARGE HIM????