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Help! I need to stop adoption!

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GrandmaLina

Guest
I am the mother of a 26 year old son who got a 26 year old woman pregnant. They were not seriously dating, but she decided to continue the pregnancy. She has now said she wants to put my grandson up for adoption when he is born because she is scared to tell her family she is pregnant (they have a lot of control over her and she already has one child). My son is not thrilled about it, but he will not contest the adoption. Can I contest it? I am a liscenced foster care provider, make a very good living, and have a beautiful home. I am still fairly young (44). If I keep the baby, my son will help, and both natural parents will have access to the baby. I am happy to raise the baby to adulthood, but I am also open to the possibility of either natural parent taking over in the future, but with adoption, there is no turning back. Both natural parents are educated, bright and have good jobs. Is there anything I can do without their consent? She is due in 6 weeks, and has just decided on adoption.
 


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GrandmaLina

Guest
I am sorry I neglected to mention 2 very important things. We live in Massachusetts and the mother plans to allow 2 gay white Christian men in San Francisco to adopt the baby. My son and I are black and the mother is Jewish.
 

LegalBeagle

Senior Member
Just get your son to contest it. That is the easist solution. He can then file for physical custody of the child with you and the child can live in your house with your son as the primary custodial parent.

The mother can not adopt the child without his signiture. If the mother does not want anything to do with the child then have your son first ask her to give up physical custody to him.. If she refuses then file custody papers into court..

 
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GrandmaLina

Guest
My son does not want to get involved, although I think he will if I push it. Will he have to prove that he can be a fit parent or will they just allow him to have the baby because he is the natural parent? He does have a criminal record (no felonies or anything violent and all more than 5 year ago--possession of marijuana, failure to pay fines). I know he cannot raise this child on his own. The mother is doing a great job with her child which is why I don't understand this. Also, the adoption agency has been giving her money to pay her medical co-pays and part of her rent since she is on maternity leave. If my son or I receive custody, will she have to return this money? I don't want anyone to be hurt in this, but it seems inevitable.
 

LegalBeagle

Senior Member
The fact that your son is the bio parent gives him a lot of weight. If there is not contest, ie, she does not want the child, then someone has to prove he is NOT fit for the court to deny him custody. If he is fighting for custody, then yes, he would also have to prove that he is a fit parents or stable person.

You can BOTH file together for custody, ie, you and your son can jointly file for physical custody so you can add weight to your case by showing that you have a good stable home to care for the child.

So, this women has other children and the new child is not yet born ? I am a little confused by the adoption agency because they would not normally give her money unless they were assured the child can be adopted. SO I can only presume that she has told the agency that the father is in full agreement. If the adoption fails, then yes, she will have to pay them back.

Does she know that you intend to fight for custody and oppose the adoption ?. Once she does, her approach could change and she might then decide to keep the child herself.

What exactly has your son told her about adopting the child and has he agreed to anything or signed anything ?

 
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GrandmaLina

Guest
My son has not signed anything. I think that because he said that he would not fight the adoption, she is assuming he will sign when the baby is born. She has not signed anything either. She said she signed an "intent" to let these men adopt the baby, but she also said that it said on the paper that it is only an intent and does not obligate her to relinquish custody. The agency is in California. I told her we would take the baby, but she is worried that she would be perceived as a bad mother, ignoring her child in the same town. For some reason she thinks it's better if he is 3000 miles away and no one knows about him. Can she legally give up custody before the baby is even born?
 

LegalBeagle

Senior Member
She can not sign the baby away for adoption without the fathers consent. Otherwise it is a quick trip to the courts and the adoption will be annulled. I suggest you and your son go and have a talk with her and state your intentions and requests...
 
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GrandmaLina

Guest
Thank you for all your advice. It seems pretty simple, almost too simple. If my son does not sign papers, there is no adoption, and if the mother does not want baby, he is automatically entitled to custody. This is correct? Is there a possibility of her doing something devious like saying she doesn't know who the father is and going to court and signing him away without us knowing? If she does, and we don't find out is there anything we can do? Will he have to then prove the baby is his?
 

LegalBeagle

Senior Member
He would probably have a good chance at custody anyway since she has already announced the desire not to have the child. She can indeed state that your son is not the father but a simple test will show otherwise. Even if somehow she did manage to get the adoption through without his consent it would be easy(ish) to overturn.

In Michigan a few years back a women adopted her baby. Claimed that she did not know the father. FOUR years later the father finds out and successfully managed to overturn the adoption and won custody of the child. Horrible for the adoption parents to love a child for 4 years and then lose all rights, BUT, bio parents have abolute rights where there is no abuse, drug, neglect etc..

The only thing she may pull is to decide to keep the child and then work at denying him any access or visitation etc..

Not sure how far she has to go, but I would first approach her about it and let her know your intentions to have the child and will not allow the adoption. If she decided to keep the child then it will be up to you and your son whether to fight her for physical custody.
 

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