M
morningfreedom
Guest
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Georgia
I am the mother of 5 children 16 yob, 15 yob, 13 yog, 12 yog, and 9 yob. Please have patience and read this and help me find an answer. My first husband was very abusive and my older boys picked up a lot from him. I did divorce him when they were young, but of course our wonderful system says he has to have visitation. Well, he has went through countless girlfriends, even on his 3rd wife who is 12 years younger than him. He has also been abusive to other women throughout the last 11 years we have been divorced. Back to my older 2 boys, both of them have been through RYDC and boot camp. It was the hardest thing i have ever had to go through...but felt it was necessary. They stay in trouble at school. They steal, they lie, they fight. The oldest one went for trouble at school. The second oldest went for grabbing me. They have both done violence towards me from bear hugs, which either broke or bruised my ribs, to throwing me on the bed and sitting on top of me telling me what all he could do to me. The 15 yob has even done horrible acts to his siblings. My ex-mother-in-law even went so far as to call DFCS on us. They came out and did an investigation. In which they felt the kids were the problem not me and my husband. Well, we took parenting classes. When we would tell of the things that had went on in our household in the past, we were told if they continued they would take the 3 younger children and place them in foster homes because the 2 older ones are too out of control to be placed. Well, that is enough to put a scare into a person....so we tightened up on our rules. This only caused serious rebellion. Their father was never a positive help in anyway with these boys...basically they would receive a pat on the back for their behavior in my home. After my 15 yob did his time in boot camp, he wanted to live with his father. I let him go with the understanding his father was to get custody. Don't misunderstand me, it was a hard decision. I love him so much but I had the others to think about also. Well, he has been with his father for about 9 months...he has done nothing about custody. My 16 yob went to "stay" with them for a couple of months also. He began spending the weekend with his girlfriend and just quit going to school. No one cared...except me. He moved back in with us and now we argue with him every day to work. He chose to become an adult when he quit school. Well, it was brought to my attention that the 15 yob had stolen a vaccuum from one his teachers. Well, this happened on Fri. 5-7. I did not find out about it until until 5-13. I went over spoke to his stepmother whom still had the vaccuum and she said he told them the teacher was throwing it away so he asked for it. His stepmother told me he had not been to school since the incident, she tries to get him to go but he refuses and his father gives him no consequences. Well, they do not have a phone so on 5-14 i went over to their home....there was my son walking the trailer park. His father was supposedly at work and his stepmother was at her mother's. I took him to the school to return the vaccuum. I was treated like the criminal. They do not feel they should tell me anything because he lives with his father even though i still have custody. The viceprinciple let my son talk to him like he was nothing. My son told him that someone had slipped it into his bookbag without his knowledge, taken 2 cd players out of his bookbag, and he had every intention of returning the vaccuum. Then when I asked for a printout of his absences...my son was angered at me. The school and his father let him obtain 26 unexcused absences. I home school my 3 younger children. but now since i have "custody" of this darling child whom my ex has let become very unruly...i will have to deal with truancy charges. What can I do? He has had to go to court since he moved in with his father....Since I had custody I had to be there...his father didn't bother. The judge blessed me out for letting him live with his father but what am I suppose to do? I have Crohn's and the arguing and fighting and honestly being afraid of him was killing me and he knew it. I have not even had a speeding ticket before, I am a good honest Christian. I am so afraid of what is going to happen. His stepmother even told me about him being out at 2 or 3 in the morning and them not knowing where he is at. His stepmother has even told me about telling him one day "one of those women's husbands are gonna catch him and shoot him." He is 15 years old. I have called DFCS in the past on the situation...not as revenge but out of honest concern for my son, his stepmother and the other 2 children.. 7 yob and 3 yog, his stepmother will lie because she is afraid of his father. I remember that feeling. His probation officer told the judge he would keep an eye on him at school...Hello...is 26 days ok? I do not want to be the one to have to "wake" everyone up again!!! I love him....i worry. I was told he and his friends were roaming the trailer park at 3 am this morning....and 5 homes were broken into but the only things they took were money and keys. My sons would steal money out of my purse...(yeah we are probably all guilty of a dollar or 2 in our lifetime) they would take $50 or more at a time. It is all we can do to make it. I can't say he did it...but i received a prank phone call tonight from a teen club here in town. I think he just wanted me to know even though his stepmother and his father had lost their jobs, and he had skipped school all week...he still got to go party! What can I do...Please somebody hellp me..I am so confused...angered....and know the system is not what it is built up to be. His probation officer acts like I am just a bad person because I want him to learn he has to pay for what he does. I do not want to see him go to an adult jail. I do not want to see him have to live on the streets. I especially do not want to have to go identify his body when he isn't so tough anymore...
I am the mother of 5 children 16 yob, 15 yob, 13 yog, 12 yog, and 9 yob. Please have patience and read this and help me find an answer. My first husband was very abusive and my older boys picked up a lot from him. I did divorce him when they were young, but of course our wonderful system says he has to have visitation. Well, he has went through countless girlfriends, even on his 3rd wife who is 12 years younger than him. He has also been abusive to other women throughout the last 11 years we have been divorced. Back to my older 2 boys, both of them have been through RYDC and boot camp. It was the hardest thing i have ever had to go through...but felt it was necessary. They stay in trouble at school. They steal, they lie, they fight. The oldest one went for trouble at school. The second oldest went for grabbing me. They have both done violence towards me from bear hugs, which either broke or bruised my ribs, to throwing me on the bed and sitting on top of me telling me what all he could do to me. The 15 yob has even done horrible acts to his siblings. My ex-mother-in-law even went so far as to call DFCS on us. They came out and did an investigation. In which they felt the kids were the problem not me and my husband. Well, we took parenting classes. When we would tell of the things that had went on in our household in the past, we were told if they continued they would take the 3 younger children and place them in foster homes because the 2 older ones are too out of control to be placed. Well, that is enough to put a scare into a person....so we tightened up on our rules. This only caused serious rebellion. Their father was never a positive help in anyway with these boys...basically they would receive a pat on the back for their behavior in my home. After my 15 yob did his time in boot camp, he wanted to live with his father. I let him go with the understanding his father was to get custody. Don't misunderstand me, it was a hard decision. I love him so much but I had the others to think about also. Well, he has been with his father for about 9 months...he has done nothing about custody. My 16 yob went to "stay" with them for a couple of months also. He began spending the weekend with his girlfriend and just quit going to school. No one cared...except me. He moved back in with us and now we argue with him every day to work. He chose to become an adult when he quit school. Well, it was brought to my attention that the 15 yob had stolen a vaccuum from one his teachers. Well, this happened on Fri. 5-7. I did not find out about it until until 5-13. I went over spoke to his stepmother whom still had the vaccuum and she said he told them the teacher was throwing it away so he asked for it. His stepmother told me he had not been to school since the incident, she tries to get him to go but he refuses and his father gives him no consequences. Well, they do not have a phone so on 5-14 i went over to their home....there was my son walking the trailer park. His father was supposedly at work and his stepmother was at her mother's. I took him to the school to return the vaccuum. I was treated like the criminal. They do not feel they should tell me anything because he lives with his father even though i still have custody. The viceprinciple let my son talk to him like he was nothing. My son told him that someone had slipped it into his bookbag without his knowledge, taken 2 cd players out of his bookbag, and he had every intention of returning the vaccuum. Then when I asked for a printout of his absences...my son was angered at me. The school and his father let him obtain 26 unexcused absences. I home school my 3 younger children. but now since i have "custody" of this darling child whom my ex has let become very unruly...i will have to deal with truancy charges. What can I do? He has had to go to court since he moved in with his father....Since I had custody I had to be there...his father didn't bother. The judge blessed me out for letting him live with his father but what am I suppose to do? I have Crohn's and the arguing and fighting and honestly being afraid of him was killing me and he knew it. I have not even had a speeding ticket before, I am a good honest Christian. I am so afraid of what is going to happen. His stepmother even told me about him being out at 2 or 3 in the morning and them not knowing where he is at. His stepmother has even told me about telling him one day "one of those women's husbands are gonna catch him and shoot him." He is 15 years old. I have called DFCS in the past on the situation...not as revenge but out of honest concern for my son, his stepmother and the other 2 children.. 7 yob and 3 yog, his stepmother will lie because she is afraid of his father. I remember that feeling. His probation officer told the judge he would keep an eye on him at school...Hello...is 26 days ok? I do not want to be the one to have to "wake" everyone up again!!! I love him....i worry. I was told he and his friends were roaming the trailer park at 3 am this morning....and 5 homes were broken into but the only things they took were money and keys. My sons would steal money out of my purse...(yeah we are probably all guilty of a dollar or 2 in our lifetime) they would take $50 or more at a time. It is all we can do to make it. I can't say he did it...but i received a prank phone call tonight from a teen club here in town. I think he just wanted me to know even though his stepmother and his father had lost their jobs, and he had skipped school all week...he still got to go party! What can I do...Please somebody hellp me..I am so confused...angered....and know the system is not what it is built up to be. His probation officer acts like I am just a bad person because I want him to learn he has to pay for what he does. I do not want to see him go to an adult jail. I do not want to see him have to live on the streets. I especially do not want to have to go identify his body when he isn't so tough anymore...