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am i stupid?

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carlos'wife

Guest
What is the name of your state? Michigan

Ok. I am married and we are a family of "his", "mine" and "ours". My oldest (8) is from a previous relationship that does not interfere with my current. Our other two boy (3 and 8mos) are from our union. Then there is my stepdaughter (4), that is the subject of this discussion. Her mother and my husband (before we got married) had a one night stand. Ok. Her mother moved to Ohio, had a baby, gave his mother a call to report it and filed for child support. They did not know each other (yes that is nasty) but every year since the child was 2, she has been with us for 3-7 months per year.
Now we have been advised to seek full custody in order to end up the joint (physical and legal). Her mother has two other children that their maternal grandmother has filed for custody for. My question is should I feel bad that I am in essence taking her daughter from her, or should I continue the proceedings?
Note. my household is the reverse of what society says is correct. i work and my husband keeps the kids.
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
carlos'wife said:
My question is should I feel bad that I am in essence taking her daughter from her, or should I continue the proceedings?
Not stupid, but somewhat off in your thinking. You don't get to continue - or even start - any proceedings wrt your stepdaughter. Dad does.
 
C

carlos'wife

Guest
That's what I meant. The Dad wants full custody becuase he has bonded with her. I just keep thinking how would I feel if my 8 year old's dad decided to sue for custody. Even though that is a nonissue because the circumstances are different. Thanks for your reponse.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Then the question is - what are the circumstances which Dad feels represent a change in circumstance over the current order? IS there a current order for custody/visitation? Has he been legalle determined to be the father?
 
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carlos'wife

Guest
he has been legally determined the father, but what's weird is no custody has been established according to the current support order, for him or her. not only that but the original order did not go by his income or hers or any part of the "child support formula" and it started with back pay, he will never be able to keep up or even catch up and there is only so much i can send.
our situation works for us and obviously it works for his daughter's mother because she sends her up here and leaves her at the drop of a dime for extended periods of time. however, the courts say that this not how it should be and have put him in jail, they are in the process now of suspending his license. i can't do anything about it and they have taken my tax refund $3925.00 and applied it to this debt. i don't know what to do, or why i feel so bad supporting my husband taking his daughter legally?
 
Injured spouse option

How long ago did the state/fed take your taxes? You might be able to file for injured spouse.
Go back to your tax advisor, and see if it's still an option for you.

Though, since you decided to be the breadwinner, maybe you feel that this obligation is now yours.

Tough choice. Good luck.
 
B

BigCat50

Guest
You commented that the Biological mothers grandmother was going after custody of the other 2 children. Could you elaborate on this? Also who recommended that you go for full custody, and what prompted this advice?

Otherwise, no, don't feel bad, since her own mother is also trying to take children from her. That was an easy one.
 

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