• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Child support unfairness

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

S

stepmom12

Guest
undefinedWhat is the name of your state? Georgia

My husband and I have been married for eight years now and have seen how badly the system is for us anyway. My husband's ex-wife has habitually been a sorry person jumping from live-in boyfriend to live-in boyfriend, getting pregnant by one, marrying him only to divorce before the baby turned one and now collecting $$$ from him as well as the almost $700 a month she gets from us for one child. Is there anything that can be done or is the system so screwed up that she can continue to live the life of riley and not be held responsible for anything?? Last summer she purchased a $200,000 home on a secretary's income (which is the first job that she has held down for any sufficient time in eight years).Since purchasing her home it is almost as if she has hit the Lotto or something, purchasing thousands of dollars in new furniture, tanning bed, and recently a brand new boat with her newest victim, I mean boyfriend. I am just so fed up with the lifestyle that she can lead, that it sickens me. My husband and I have two more children and reallly struggle, I mean struggle (sometimes unable to buy diapers or food for several days until one of us gets paid) because of the amount of money we give her ( I work too) but she seems to be able to do whatever she wants and it is totally okay by law. She actually just quit her job to "go back to school" so that as she put it she and my stepdaughter would be "rolling in it" ,meaning money. How can she continue to be so irresponsible and callous about money and it be okay with the law?? As a result of her mother's recent "fun and exciting" lifestyle changes (new house, etc.) my stepdaughter only wants to be with us if we are doing something fun, which is rare because of our financial constraints. This really hurts my husband because for the last eight or nine years she has lived with us over half the month every month, we have taken her in when her mom "needed some time", we have paid her mom early so that she could buy Christmas presents or have her electricity or gas turned back on, and the list goes on and on for what we have done. None of this is even remembered by my stepdaughter because she was so young and her father, who was once who she wanted to live with and "visit her mother" is now someone she does not want to be around and her mother who she once hated and thought she was a liar is now her hero. Don't get me wrong, every child needs their mother but come on, if her mother can seem to get by without having a job and can go to school, etc. there has to be some relief for those of us really struggling to make ends meet. We do not lead a fancy lifestyle either. We have a very modest, 30 year old fixer-upper that we have lived in for seven years and have two modest car payments (my husband works an hour out of town and needs reliable transportation). Other than that, that is it. We have to rely on grandparents to clothe our own children from Wal-Mart, not that there is anything wrong with Wal-Mart, but my stepdaughter can wear Tommy, Gap, Old Navy, Reebok, Nike, etc. It is crazy. Luckily they are too young right now to know the difference, but soon they will. Sorry to be so lengthy, but eight years of frustration can tire a person out. Any advice appreciated. Thanks for listening. :eek:
 


A

ALITY

Guest
stepmom12 said:
undefinedWhat is the name of your state? Georgia

My husband and I have been married for eight years now and have seen how badly the system is for us anyway. My husband's ex-wife has habitually been a sorry person jumping from live-in boyfriend to live-in boyfriend, getting pregnant by one, marrying him only to divorce before the baby turned one and now collecting $$$ from him as well as the almost $700 a month she gets from us for one child. Is there anything that can be done or is the system so screwed up that she can continue to live the life of riley and not be held responsible for anything?? Last summer she purchased a $200,000 home on a secretary's income (which is the first job that she has held down for any sufficient time in eight years).Since purchasing her home it is almost as if she has hit the Lotto or something, purchasing thousands of dollars in new furniture, tanning bed, and recently a brand new boat with her newest victim, I mean boyfriend. I am just so fed up with the lifestyle that she can lead, that it sickens me. My husband and I have two more children and reallly struggle, I mean struggle (sometimes unable to buy diapers or food for several days until one of us gets paid) because of the amount of money we give her ( I work too) but she seems to be able to do whatever she wants and it is totally okay by law. She actually just quit her job to "go back to school" so that as she put it she and my stepdaughter would be "rolling in it" ,meaning money. How can she continue to be so irresponsible and callous about money and it be okay with the law?? As a result of her mother's recent "fun and exciting" lifestyle changes (new house, etc.) my stepdaughter only wants to be with us if we are doing something fun, which is rare because of our financial constraints. This really hurts my husband because for the last eight or nine years she has lived with us over half the month every month, we have taken her in when her mom "needed some time", we have paid her mom early so that she could buy Christmas presents or have her electricity or gas turned back on, and the list goes on and on for what we have done. None of this is even remembered by my stepdaughter because she was so young and her father, who was once who she wanted to live with and "visit her mother" is now someone she does not want to be around and her mother who she once hated and thought she was a liar is now her hero. Don't get me wrong, every child needs their mother but come on, if her mother can seem to get by without having a job and can go to school, etc. there has to be some relief for those of us really struggling to make ends meet. We do not lead a fancy lifestyle either. We have a very modest, 30 year old fixer-upper that we have lived in for seven years and have two modest car payments (my husband works an hour out of town and needs reliable transportation). Other than that, that is it. We have to rely on grandparents to clothe our own children from Wal-Mart, not that there is anything wrong with Wal-Mart, but my stepdaughter can wear Tommy, Gap, Old Navy, Reebok, Nike, etc. It is crazy. Luckily they are too young right now to know the difference, but soon they will. Sorry to be so lengthy, but eight years of frustration can tire a person out. Any advice appreciated. Thanks for listening. :eek:

That is very sad that she does those things. I don't know if your state has a system where she had to show what she spends the money on. I know mine doesn't. And unless she is not taking care of the child I don't think there is much that can be done about how much she takes in in child support from various fathers. Sorry I can't help you but good luck.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
ALITY said:
That is very sad that she does those things. I don't know if your state has a system where she had to show what she spends the money on. I know mine doesn't. And unless she is not taking care of the child I don't think there is much that can be done about how much she takes in in child support from various fathers. Sorry I can't help you but good luck.
There is no state that requires an accounting of how support is spent.
 
A

ALITY

Guest
stealth2 said:
There is no state that requires an accounting of how support is spent.

I didn't think so but didn't know for sure.
 

kat1963

Senior Member
You might want to read this website. If you don't like the laws, you have to fight to change them.
http://www.gachildsupport.org/
Your husband's support seems high considering there is only one child to support, 2 incomes & you guys are still struggling. He'd have to be making a decent income for it be that much per month (I believe guidelines are what 17-25%??) Is there arrears or daycare built in?
KAT
 

VeronicaGia

Senior Member
GA is one of a handful of states that takes only the income of the NCP into consideration when figuring support. People, including a judge, are trying to change that. Start fighting for the change by writing your state representatives.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top