Backed against the wall

Hello, I'm a step Dad from the state of Washington who is in the middle of a big mess with a 13 yr old step daughter who constantly bad mouths her mother, offers up ZERO respect to either one of us and is constantly sneaking out of the house at night and seeing guys at least 10 years older than her. Her father is a complete and total MORAN who in the begining more or less forced himself upon this child as well as the others when it came to visitation. Well now, since the child in question has been getting into trouble, we had decided to send her to a private school in Utah, it appears that only road block is the ex-husband. That is until we decided to send the child in question to live with HIM as an alternative, THEN it was not a roadbloack any longer UNTIL it came time to sign paperwork to send her. NOW it appears that he doesnt want anything to do with her and on top of that, will not sign the paperwork to clear the way for professional help. My Question is: Is there any way possible to go over this idiot's head without an attorney? Can she be sent without his consent? If a court order is needed, can we get one without an attorney?

Thanks very much

What sort of custody does Mom have? Specifically - what type of LEGAL (not physical) custody does she have?

Thank you for taking the time to answer.

She has Joint custody, but her ex does not follow the parenting plan as it should be. He has basically "disowned" for the lack of a better term, his oldest daughter.

Thanks again

Joint Legal? Then she either needs Dad's consent or a court order.

OK Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to answer.

I thought you were going to say that.....

So, the next step is .........

Mom goes to court, and requests that the terms of custody be changed.

If the Father won't help, won't use his opportunity to be a parent, then he should get out of the way so others are able to step in and do so.

An attorney may be the way to go, unless Mom is well versed in custody laws, is good at speaking in public, really sure of her self, AND has all the communications documented, with dates, times, witnesses, phone records, bank statements and such, showing that Dad is not doing his part, and is stopping Mom from being able to do her part as well.

You said he forced himself on her ???

Has he been charged ?

Has anything been done about that ? To him ? For her ?

Not only has the daughter been victimized by her own father, she is now being victimized by the mother as well, if Mom's not DOING something about the pedo ..... father, who is standing in the way of her getting help to resolve the traumatic events she's been through. He's only standing in the way so that his actions don't get found out. Why is this behavior being condoned ??? The Fathers (past & present) ?? The Daughters (recent) ?

The daughter will only do as she is taught .......
By Dad.
By Mom.

The actions and in-actions speak louder to the girl than any words you or Mom can possibly say. Just who is being protected ? The innocent or the guilty ? Tough choices are sometimes required, especially when situations are extreme.
This IS extreme !!!

Peety, read the WHOLE sentence:

Her father is a complete and total MORAN who in the begining more or less forced himself upon this child as well as the others when it came to visitation.

Click to expand...

The OP didn't say that he forced himself on her sexually - he forced the kid to go on visitation. Don't add to the drama.

if the person who started the thread had corrected me ....

..... then I'd know for sure that it was a valid correction.

I didn't read it that way. I think my head was still trying to get around the word "MORAN" while finishing the sentence, and so, it registered in my head that he'd done bad things during visitation.

If that is, in fact, incorrect ...... then I stand corrected on that point.

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However, the first part of my post, I still stand behind ......
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So the next step is ...... Mom goes to court, and requests that the terms of custody be changed.

If the Father won't help, won't use his opportunity to be a parent, then he should get out of the way so others are able to step in and do so.

An attorney may be the way to go, unless Mom is well versed in custody laws, is good at speaking in public, really sure of her self, AND has all the communications documented, with dates, times, witnesses, phone records, bank statements and such, showing that Dad is not doing his part, and is stopping Mom from being able to do her part as well.


Point being ..... Daughter needs help, Mom and StepDad want to help her, but the Father of the child is standing in the way.

I still wonder why that is.