Divorcing my mother

What is the name of your state? California

I'm not really sure what the most apt term would be, but my situation is this: I'm 17 years old, and I'll be turning 18 next month on the 12th of July. I live with my mother, her boyfriend, and my younger brother. Earlier this year, I dropped out of school and got my GED. I've been working full time and have saved up some money for when I plan on moving out, the day of my 18th birthday. After that, I want to enroll myself in college, change my last name, and begin living my life, freed from her toxic presence.

Without going into the unnecessary details of our relationsip, my mother and I don't get along, haven't for years, and I just want to be completely separated from her as thoroughly as possible.

My reasons for wanting to sever any ties I have with her are primarily personal, but I'm also concerned about how exactly she may still affect or be able to affect me legally despite my being 18, and I'd like to take care of those possible problems as soon as I can. Also, I'm not sure about the details of this, but, If I understand, I won't be recognized as financially independent until I'm 25, which could serve as a problem if I ever need financial aid because she makes a pretty decent wage.

What can I do in order to remove myself utterly from her? Any help would be really appreciated.

At 18 you are an adult. move and tell momma to kiss your retreating rearend.

As far as college is concerned, it matters not whether or not you live with your parents. You will still have to complete the financial aid package truthfully.

And even if you don't get a grant, you can still go to college. It's tougher but doable.

At 18 you are an adult. move and tell momma to kiss your retreating rearend.

Click to expand...

I'm looking forward to that part , but I think my main legal concern is would she have more access to my personal files/information (would she have access to my birth certificate, social security, etc. and would she be able to do anything with it?) than any other person because of her status as my mother? Will she be able to obtain my address if it's unlisted? What rights would she have as a relative? For instance, I know that relatives are allowed hospital visitation and the like, and those are the types of things I'd rather not afford her if possible.

Hell girl, I can get your birth certificate and personal information. Quit worrying about it.

Once you are an adult, if you are in the hospital and don't want your mother visiting, tell the staff. If you are in a restaurant and don't want your mother sitting at your table, have her escorted from the room.

Once you are an adult you are in charge of your life. So quit worrying and get on with it.

Thank you so much This has really helped to relieve a lot of the anxiety I've been feeling as to what she can do to me after I'm 18 and gone.

Just do yourself a favor once you're out the door and on your own path.

Leave the door open. You never know which bridge you burn behind you could have led home.

Good luck

Hi, I have another question. I woke up this morning still curious about what familial obligations California place on its respective members -- and, more importantly, disowning them -- so I did more research.

I read of a case where a man's disabled mother went on Medi-Cal to get medical coverage when he was contacted by a social worker to verify his income status. They said that CA has a law that requires able-bodied children to help provide care for their parents. He contacted his attorney and was told that there was indeed such a statute in California, and he was faced with having to pay to support his mother or disown her to legally separate them. I prefer to nip things in the bud.

Could anyone explain what the procedure is for legally separating from my mother?

I'd rather not be approached any time in the future regarding her, and I'd additionally feel relieved that I'm separated from her officially and completely. Please believe that hers is an unstable, rickety bridge that I won't ever want to cross again.

where did you read that? post the site.

The only thing I can think of that might obligate the family to the mother's living state is if there is joint property held by the family. Also, of course they are going to try and get money from the family members - Medi-Cal wants to get their money back or defray their costs! A lot may depend on the status of the parties involved. If I'm living in my mother's home and she gets put into a facility, they will almost certainly seek the sale of the home to get payment (and I believe that happens automatically ... it essentially guts the estate to pay for long term care).

But I don't believe that they can MAKE you pay if you control none of the indigent party's assets.

Carl

And when you click on your private message from EberBoy, ask him if he is a practicing attorney and if he answers yes, ask him for his bar card.

CA Family Code Section 4400 - 4405

FAMILY.CODE
SECTION 4400-4405


4400. Except as otherwise provided by law, an adult child shall, to
the extent of his or her ability, support a parent who is in need
and unable to maintain himself or herself by work.

4401. The promise of an adult child to pay for necessaries
previously furnished to a parent described in Section 4400 is
binding.

4402. The duty of support under this part is cumulative and not in
substitution for any other duty.

4403. (a) Subject to subdivision (b):
(1) A parent, or the county on behalf of the parent, may bring an
action against the child to enforce the duty of support under this
part.
(2) If the county furnishes support to a parent, the county has
the same right as the parent to whom the support was furnished to
secure reimbursement and obtain continuing support.
(b) The right of the county to proceed on behalf of the parent or
to obtain reimbursement is subject to any limitation otherwise
imposed by the law of this state.
(c) The court may order the child to pay the county reasonable
attorney's fees and court costs in a proceeding by the county under
this section.

4404. In determining the amount to be ordered for support, the
court shall consider the following circumstances of each party:
(a) Earning capacity and needs.
(b) Obligations and assets.
(c) Age and health.
(d) Standard of living.
(e) Other factors the court deems just and equitable.

4405. The court retains jurisdiction to modify or terminate an
order for support where justice requires.

Well ... good thing my mom's covered. I couldn't afford a care facility for her on my own.

Carl