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"Will" This Be A Sticky Matter?

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ElleDee

Guest
What is the name of your state? Georgia
The deceased resided in Ohio

My fiance, enroute to Georgia to finalize our wedding plans, was struck and ultimately killed by a drunken driver. I have no type of 'established' relationship with any of his family members. I understand that, since we were not legally married at the time of his death, I am without rights to claim anything with regard to his estate; however....

He left instructions, via a notorized letter that his crematory remains were to be given to me. I understand that, in his Will, he has designated for me to have my wedding rings (I have no idea if there is anything else, as I'm only receiving partial information). I have learned today that, while the younger brother is the Executor/Administrator (?), the eldest brother is contesting the will, citing 'incompetency' at the time of drawing up the will. The will was drawn up prior to my fiance's last surgery.

My question(s) are:
1. What rights do I have to obtain a copy of the 'final rites' letter?
2. What rights do I have to obtain a copy of the Will?
3. Since his request to have his remains given to me were not in his Will, may I demand them, even though the Will is tied up in Probate?
4. Do I need to retain an Ohio-based attorney; and if so, would that be a Probate Attorney?
 


Dandy Don

Senior Member
Have you been able to discuss any of this with anyone in the family yet? If not, then please do so at the earliest opportunity. You need to get some idea of how sympathetic/friendly or how hostile they are going to be to you before you proceed. I can't imagine any reason why they wouldn't want you to have a copy of the letter (how did you find out about this letter?) or the remains, but it might be somewhat tacky of you to ask for either as this stage during the grieving process.

You have the right right now to send the executor a letter asking for a copy of the will (normally the will is filed at the county courthouse within 30 days of the death, so you should first check at the courthouse to see if it has been filed there--if so you can get a copy there). I'm not familiar with Ohio law so someone else will have to comment on your remaining questions.

Right now you have no reason to hire an attorney for any reason, but your priority should be getting a copy of the will so you can see if your fiance left you anything other than the rings. My sympathies for such a tragic loss.

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA ([email protected])
 
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ElleDee

Guest
Thank you for your time and response....

Dandy Don said:
Have you been able to discuss any of this with anyone in the family yet? If not, then please do so at the earliest opportunity. You need to get some idea of how sympathetic/friendly or how hostile they are going to be to you before you proceed.
Unfortunately, the couple of relatives that I communicated with while my fiance was incapacitated, have all but shut the doors in my face, as if they'd like for me to just disappear....which I will not. To realize just how loving they are, how about they wouldn't tell me where the services were being held?

Dandy Don said:
I can't imagine any reason why they wouldn't want you to have a copy of the letter (how did you find out about this letter?) or the remains, but it might be somewhat tacky of you to ask for either as this stage during the grieving process.
Believe me, they're not grieving, they're fighting like cats and dogs over his assets. I found out about the letter from his younger brother, who is the Executor/Administrator of his estate, and only after he needed access into our shared email account to retrieve a letter that my fiance wrote to me, and requested to have read at his service. This same brother is the one who told me also what was contained in the Will, as well as the letter.

Dandy Don said:
You have the right right now to send the executor a letter asking for a copy of the will (normally the will is filed at the county courthouse within 30 days of the death, so you should first check at the courthouse to see if it has been filed there--if so you can get a copy there). I'm not familiar with Ohio law so someone else will have to comment on your remaining questions.
Right now, I don't even know the county of the Probate Court that they've filed the Will. No one will respond to my requests, and I have been gentle and quite empathetic. Realistically, his death didn't come as a shock as he was in and out of the hospital for 9 months after the accident. He had time to revise his Will, and leave detailed instructions for how he wanted things carried out upon his death.

Dandy Don said:
Right now you have no reason to hire an attorney for any reason, but your priority should be getting a copy of the will so you can see if your fiance left you anything other than the rings. My sympathies for such a tragic loss.
I was contacted today by this younger brother, via email, requesting that I revert the email account that my fiance and I shared, back to its original password, because the account was to be investigated to see if there was anything my fiance left in there with regard to his Will. My finace was not that ignorant; and right now, I am refusing to revert the password back, unless they provide me more details with regard to his Will and other estate matters. Am I wrong for handling the matter as such?

Thank you for your condolences; they are heartfelt. This matter has left me quite devastated.

Elle
 

Dandy Don

Senior Member
If you will mention what city your fiance lived in in Ohio, I can get you the address and phone number for that county courthouse, or any librarian in that Ohio city can help you find that information. Send me an e-mail directly to my e-mail address that says what your fiance's name and address was and his date of death, and I can check to see if the probate information you want is available online.

Are you absolutely sure that your fiance would not have put any information on his computer about his will and have you checked the e-mail account to make sure of that? Do not give up the password under any circumstances because I think it is a pretext to look at all of his other e-mails, not just the ones related to the will. You are in control and should not give it up until they provide you with at least a copy of the will (if you can't get one at the courthouse). Would you have any idea as to what the value of his estate might be?

Estate might be sizeable if a brother is contesting it on such weak grounds. Brother has not much chance of winning unless your fiance was on some type of medications around the time of his surgery that may have affected his judgment. It's odd that brother would think he is not receiving a fair share of the estate unless brother was specifically disinherited, and I do sense that your fiance was kind enough to leave you more than just the wedding rings. I'm wondering if perhaps he named you as the only beneficiary.

After you get a copy of the will and have a better idea of what is going on with this estate, please do a follow-up posting and we can better advise you.

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA ([email protected])
 
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ElleDee

Guest
Sorry for the delay in responding, and I appreciate the follow-up....

Dandy Don said:
If you will mention what city your fiance lived in in Ohio, I can get you the address and phone number for that county courthouse, or any librarian in that Ohio city can help you find that information. Send me an e-mail directly to my e-mail address that says what your fiance's name and address was and his date of death, and I can check to see if the probate information you want is available online.
I will send you an email, but I've checked the county of his residence and unless their records are behind, I can find nothing as of yesterday

Dandy Don said:
Are you absolutely sure that your fiance would not have put any information on his computer about his will and have you checked the e-mail account to make sure of that? Do not give up the password under any circumstances because I think it is a pretext to look at all of his other e-mails, not just the ones related to the will. You are in control and should not give it up until they provide you with at least a copy of the will (if you can't get one at the courthouse). Would you have any idea as to what the value of his estate might be?
I don't have access to his computer, but the younger brother (Exec/Admin) does. He doesn't have access into the shared email account, and that's what has the eldest brother up in the air. My fiance had a Will before we were a couple, and he revised it shortly after his accident. It is my understanding that, prior to his last surgery, is when it was revised, along with the letter of instructions for his funeral services.

After your first response to me, I sent the younger brother an email making my request officially known. He wrote me back, cursed me, and told me that he's going to sell everything and throw my fiance's ashes in the river. Now I can't understand what has him so upset, unless there's something to hide. He has told his attorney that he has access to the account, but he lied, and I will not uphold his lie. There are documents in the account that proves, if need be, that my fiance and I were making arrangements to be married. I honestly believe that they're trying to make it seem as though my relationship with him was nothing, and I therefore should be granted nothing. I only want to have what my fiance wanted me to have - nothing more, nothing less.

Dandy Don said:
Estate might be sizeable if a brother is contesting it on such weak grounds. Brother has not much chance of winning unless your fiance was on some type of medications around the time of his surgery that may have affected his judgment. It's odd that brother would think he is not receiving a fair share of the estate unless brother was specifically disinherited, and I do sense that your fiance was kind enough to leave you more than just the wedding rings. I'm wondering if perhaps he named you as the only beneficiary.
Eldest brother was disinherited, and merely offered my fiance's forgiveness for the way that he has treated him in his lifetime (don't read the book, wait for the movie... :eek: ). I realized shortly after dating my fiance that he had a distaste for the eldest brother; shucks, the entire family does. Here's the sticker; about a week after my fiance's accident, the eldest brother comes to the hospital attempting to have the doctors render my fiance as 'incompetent', and try to establish Power of Attorney over his estate. My fiance was so upset, even with his injuries, he left the hospital and shut himself up in his home with home care doctors and nurses. That was his way of keeping the eldest brother from coming around him.

The home was paid off in 2003, and held a mortgage from the purchase date in 2001 of $169K. His last bank statement shows a savings of approximately 600K, and I have no idea with regard to any investment/IRA accounts. I do know that there is a pending case against the driver of the vehicle that struck him, which could settle for quite a bit since it has resulted in death.

I have no interest in his estate outside of what he designated for me to have. The younger brother wrote me such an ugly letter this evening that I, too, am beginning to wonder what, if anything, there must be that they don't want me to know about.

Dandy Don said:
After you get a copy of the will and have a better idea of what is going on with this estate, please do a follow-up posting and we can better advise you.
Well, it appears now that I'm out here on my own, and will have to find an attorney in Ohio since 'hostility' is the order of the day from the family.

Your time and kindness is much appreciated!
 

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