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Worried about opening a can of worms

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sweet_caligirl

Guest
What is the name of your state? I am in california. Ok first off my mother never wanted a cent from my father because he sexually abused me and my mother has since passed away and now I am 26 years old. In a way I feel my dad owes me and I guess you can say I am a bit bitter about the whole situation. I recently called the child support office in my area to find out if I would even be able to collect any money he owes and to my surprise they said yes. So I have since sent in my information. My question is how will this work will I get monthly payments or a lump sum or anything at all. I called the automated line and he has been making payments. My other question is will he have any access to any of my information and do you think I will have to go to a hearing first? I am worried about my safety in a way even though he hasn't bothered me for years. Any advice on this situation would be great or anyone that has been in a similiar situation. Thank you...
 


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VeronicaGia

Senior Member
sweet_caligirl said:
What is the name of your state? I am in california. Ok first off my mother never wanted a cent from my father because he sexually abused me and my mother has since passed away and now I am 26 years old. In a way I feel my dad owes me and I guess you can say I am a bit bitter about the whole situation. I recently called the child support office in my area to find out if I would even be able to collect any money he owes and to my surprise they said yes. So I have since sent in my information. My question is how will this work will I get monthly payments or a lump sum or anything at all. I called the automated line and he has been making payments. My other question is will he have any access to any of my information and do you think I will have to go to a hearing first? I am worried about my safety in a way even though he hasn't bothered me for years. Any advice on this situation would be great or anyone that has been in a similiar situation. Thank you...
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Did your mother ever file for child support? If not, I wouldn't hold out too much hope. Child support is intended to reimburse the custodial parent for part of the childs financial needs, it is not to go directly to the child.

If the court does entertain this idea, you would have to go to court and so would he.

BTW, you're 26 years old, why would you want to have anything to do with someone who molested you? Are you really that hard up for money? Don't you think it's time you moved on?
 
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nextwife

Senior Member
And, please, if your mom never got you counseling, THAT should be a first priority. Being emotionally healthy is essential to your future family.
 
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sweet_caligirl

Guest
reply

Ca is my state. Ok my situation is very unique and everyone is intitled to their opinion even though I think the posts to my question were a little bit harsh. I do believe strongly my father owes me this money and if I can get it I am going to collect. And I am not the only one that feels that I should. Also I have went through counseling. I have been speaking with a lawyer but wanted to know a little what others would do in my situation but I think it is a situation you could only understand if YOU were in my shoes.
 
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Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
sweet_caligirl said:
Ca is my state. Ok my situation is very unique and everyone is intitled to their opinion even though I think the posts to my question were a little bit harsh. I do believe strongly my father owes me this money and if I can get it I am going to collect. And I am not the only one that feels that I should. Also I have went through counseling. I have been speaking with a lawyer but wanted to know a little what others would do in my situation but I think it is a situation you could only understand if YOU were in my shoes.
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Do you have any proof he molested you? If so, why at your age are you worried about his money and not pressing charges and putting the sick man behind bars?.
 
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sweet_caligirl

Guest
yes

Yes I do have proof and he went to jail for it. But he is my father and I do think that this money is owed to me. We went to court and I testified at the age of 4 on the stand and it didn't take long for the judge to convict him.
 
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stephenk

Senior Member
" I do believe strongly my father owes me this money and if I can get it I am going to collect."

you never answered the original question - Did your mom have a support order AND was your father behind in payments when she died? Were you still a minor when she died? Did your mom ever receive welfare while you were a minor?
 
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sweet_caligirl

Guest
answer

Yes she did have a support order and yes he hasn't paid anything to my knowledge and I was not a minor when she died.
 
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