discovered wife is involved with another man

What is the name of your state? GA, IL and UCMJ

I discovered that my wife is involved with another man (who is also married) and they are planning on divorcing their spouses and keeping their affair a secret so they can keep half the assets.

My wife and I live in GA and the man lives in IL and is an active duty marine currently deployed to Iraq.

I discovered that they were in love in at least November and have seen each other on three occasions since then: The first time is when my wife and I visited my mother in IL on Thanksgiving. My wife took off that Friday to "go shopping" and was gone all day. The second time was the weekend before Christmas, when she took off for a few days after a fight. The third was the beginning of January, when she took off one day and was gone until the early morning hours.

How do I know? Because I have been able to view some emails between my wife and the marine. I found that she as a cell phone that she's been keeping secret from me, a PO Box, and a lockbox containing all of the letters, gifts, etc. from the marine. So when I had the opportunity, I had a locksmith make me a key for it. In it, I found pictures, letters, cards, the cell phone, and a CD-R. On the CD-R were pictures. And when pictures are taken with a digital camera, it records the date & time in the file. I found pictures of them together on the times that I suspected. That weekend in December, she drove all the way to Illinois to see him. And it appears they were only together for a short time on Jan 03. Evidently, she drove part way and he met her. It looks like a rest area on I-57 in Southern Illinois where they met and took pictures together.

How do I know they had sex together? In one of the letters I found in the lock box, he states that the two days they had together were magical, and that he loved waking up with her next to him. In another email, he stated that he loved making love to her.

Will this evidence be enough in court to prove adultery occurred?

Also, they talk about how they long to see each other and how they will be married soon. And he mentions how he is planning their future and how he has to be careful areound his wife as to not raise any suspicions so he can walk away with 50%. He also talks about how he is looking forward to raising MY CHILDREN! And he and his wife have three of their own already!

My wife and this marine are scumbags to the nth degree. How can they be so selfish and manipulative? Hell, I just paid $8000 for a china cabinet and dining room table for my wife a few months ago. Now I know why she wanted it. Neither one of them know that I know everything that has been going on. But once I file for divorce, I will make sure his wife gets all the same evidence that I have gotten, as well as his commanding officer. Hopefully he'll get busted. I'd like to see him get an other than honorable discharge and lose his pension. He's got about 4 or 5 years before he gets in 20 years.

Do you think I'll make it through this divorce with my kids and most of my assets? Do I have enough evidence to prove adultery?

What you found in the PO/lock box may not have been legally obtained. If it wasn't - you can't use a damned piece of it AND she can go after you for illegally accessing it.

Adultery is usually not a factor in custody decisions.

Adultery is sometimes a factor in determining how assets are distributed.

stealth2 said:

What you found in the PO/lock box may not have been legally obtained. If it wasn't - you can't use a damned piece of it AND she can go after you for illegally accessing it.

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The lock box was in my house and under my bed. What do I need to do to obtain the contents "legally"?

She left this in your house under your bed?

Well its in your house and its 50% yours. There is not a name on it and you were wondering if this is the box you lost a few months ago and you had a key made to see if it were yours.

Have you spoken to an attroney? Thats your first step. I would do that effective yesterday.

You def have enough to prove adulttry. Its not enough to have the kids taken away from her unless you can prove her unfit which is hard to do in any state.

I am wondering how do you keep face everyday? Does she know you know?

She doesn't know that I know. It's hard staying cool. Very hard. I found out about this last week, and today was the worst day yet for me. I don't see my lawyer until Friday, unfortunately.

At least I have enough to prove adultery (I guess). That means I won't have to pay her any alimony or her legal expenses.

But I want my kids!!!

How could a mother not be unfit if she is cheating on her husband; using him so she can dump him when the time is right and take half his assets to marry some schmuck who is doing the same thing to his spouse? Who would want their children raised by a couple of self-centered shysters like those two?

Well, I was going to answer you until you started that tyrate. Now wait until you see your attorney.

I know it seems like she should be unfit but as a social worker who goes to court everyday and see's this she is not unfit. If there is food in the fridge and they are not bruised she can't be proved unfit. All you have said just proves shes an idiot.

You do have enough to prove adultry. In NY state its 50/50 and alimony goes by the 1/2 the length of the marriage. It depends who makes more etc. The only thing you have eveidence for is to get your divorce. Paying goes by different statues. Plus if you do have to pay any alimony you said she wants to remarry and that stops when she does.

Good luck post what happens?

BelizeBreeze said:

Well, I was going to answer you until you started that tyrate.

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"Tyrate"?

One can be a lousy spouse, yet a good parent. You don't state the age of the kids, but GA does allow the child to choose which parent to live with at 14.

You're correct that, if adultery is proven in the eyes of the court, in GA you do not pay alimony.

As for the contents of the lockbox, I have no idea whether they'd be admissible or not - that's a question to ask your lawyer.

Kids are 11 and 8.

I thought it was 12 when they could choose.

They have a voice at 12, not be able to choose.

Thats a seperate issue too. Make sure when you speak to your lawyer you have those ducks in a row as well. Divorce and child custody is going to be 2 fights.

In GA, they are allowed to choose at 14 as long as both parents are fit. It's the only state that permits that.

Both my kids have stated that they want to live with me. I guess it won't matter since they are 8 and 11.

TheRake said:

Both my kids have stated that they want to live with me. I guess it won't matter since they are 8 and 11.

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Since they're not 14, nope. If the oldest was 12, s/he *might* have the opportunity to speak with the judge.

Can anybody tell me with certainty if the evidence I have will be admissable in court?

I got her emails from using spy software on the computer. I was able to get screen shots and key strokes. I was able to log into her yahoo email account because I got her password. I was then able to copy all the emails she had saved.

Additional evidence was obtained by having a locksmith make me a key for a lock box that I found under our bed. In it I found pictures, letters, cards, and a CD-R containing pictures in digital format. I have scanned the contents of the paper items in that lock box and the scans reside on my computer.

Yes, I invaded her privacy, but she's my wife. What's mine is hers and what's hers is mine - right?

Thanks.