emancipated or not

What is the name of your state? NY

My daughter is 18 and has one year left in high school. She has been talking about moving out for a year and a half and is finally doing it. I helped her and her boyfriend find a place they would be more likely to afford. This is where I start getting confused/irritated. She is on my auto insurance and under me for medical insurance. If her legal address changes the medical insurance is gone (maybe for the whole family as it is through the state). Her father wants to pay her her portion of the child support directly. She has told him that I have helped her out a lot lately and doesn't want to hurt me and that she has to stay on my med. and auto insurance.
In reading about emancipation in NY, her living on her own and supporting herself would emancipate her. Now, I am going to be paying her phone bill, and buying her groceries. I have already bought stuff for the trailer. I also pay $74 a month on her auto insurance as she can't affort to pay it all in one month. Does this constitue being self-supportive and being emancipated? And if I know the system well enough, he would have to take me back to court for a new child support order. Right or not? (Background...we have been separated since Aug 1999, legally since Jan 5, 2000 and just went to court for child support order for the first time in June 2004).

Any help is appreciated...Thanks
Karen

"My daughter is 18 and has one year left in high school. She has been talking about moving out for a year and a half and is finally doing it. I helped her and her boyfriend find a place"

If your daughter still needs to finish HS WHY do you think moving her in to shack up with a boyfriend is a good idea? Man, if I were the other parent, I'd be so angry about you encouraging and subsidizing this bad choice that I wouldn't want to do anything not required to SUPPORT a HS kid leaving home so she can live with a BF!

In all honesty? If she can't afford her car insurance, phone bill or groceries - she's not in a position to be moving anywhere.

Her father wants to pay her her portion of the child support directly.

Click to expand...

Guess what? Since baby girl is no longer living under your roof pappa bear does not have to go to court to 'change' the support order. He can go to court to have the order ended.

And that's exactly what I would advise him to do. He is no longer under any obligation to pay child support.

However, BB, you don't know if there is another child included in the order.

more info

We have 3 other children 16 and under. I just got off the phone with the court and because I'm still paying she isn't consider emancipated.

A little more background. She won't live with her father that is over an hour away from here as it is her senior year. For the most part she doesn't like her dad. He doesn't exercise his visitation rights and I let him get away with paying squat for support for years. He only sees the kids on holidays, doesn't call or anything.

She chose to live with him at age 13 when we separated. Only to call me on Christmas day to have me pick her up to move in with me cuz she couldn't take it anymore. She was living with her father at her grandparents house and was told by her grandma that she should feel sorry for her brothers having to live here with me (grandma was drunk). When I picked her up she couldn't stop crying. A month later after being told by her grandparents and father that "as far as we're concerned we don't have a grand-daughter anymore" and "don't ask to live with me ever again," she felt she couldn't take it anymore. I called her dad to come and talk with her and tell her he loved her. He told me that she wouldn't do it and she was just being stupid...then said he would prove it to me..."I'll bring her a loaded gun and hand it to her. I'll bet she doesn't do it."

So, no, I don't want her living with her father as well as she doesn't want to. But most kids her age are going off to college or getting on with their life. She is in the middle...of age to do so but still in high school. At the house, she has hit me and kicked me and is mean to her brothers. Her hitting me and such hasn't happened for a while now. But, her being here when she doesn't want to makes life hell for the rest of us. This is making her happy. Again, I'm still helping to support her. She has a job, but it won't pay for everything. Which is what I have to do. At 18 I can't stop her from moving out, but if she goes on social services they come after me. That is just the way it is here. I also have to maintain a place for her to live here at the house until she's 21. Doesn't make much sense, but in NY 21 is the legal age that I'm not responsible anymore.

I'm not trying to do the wrong thing by letting my daughter move out, I'm trying to let her know that life goes on and you can be happy. That mommy loves you and I'm here for you however I can be. And she isn't "shacking up with her boyfriend." They are engaged now. I have gotten her this far. By 17 I was pregnant and married and a senior in high school. We have talked a lot and she doesn't want to go where I have been.

to nextwife

Man, if I were the other parent, I'd be so angry about you encouraging and subsidizing this bad choice

He has wanted her out of my house since she hasn't lived with him anymore. Tried getting her to live with her drunk grandma. Told her to run away...whatever. However, he is fine with the boys here. Make sense of that will ya? He was her pride and joy and at some point while they were living together he messed it up and hasn't stopped since then. She doesnt even want him to walk her down the aisle. She wants her brother to.

From what she has told me with the one talk her grandmother and father had together one day...he's okay with it and they will get her whatever it takes for her to be out of my house. Then he doesn't have to pay as much child support.

I just got off the phone with the court and because I'm still paying she isn't consider emancipated.

Click to expand...

Until this is told to you by a judge, it means nothing. And My response stands, regardless of how many "OTHER" children you have.

Your ex should petition the court to cease support payments immediately for this child.

And by the way, the next time you 'call the courthouse' make sure you're not talking to the janitor. New York does not have an emancipation statute and any finding of emancipation is based on the individual facts of the case for persons between the ages of 16 and 18.

Emancipation does not apply to your daughter. PERIOD.

Thanks for your input BB

I wasn't speaking to the janitor. However, It's only $14 a week. So if the judge sees it the way you do then that's fine. I will still help her how I can as she's my daughter and I love her. She isn't married and she didn't join the military so she isn't emancipated until the judge says she is. As you put it, they are individual cases then and I will proceed with that in mind. Thank you!