Problem child

What is the name of your state? LA

A good friend of mine has been having a lot of trouble with her teenage son for the last couple of years. By some miracle he has managed to stay just this side of the law. For that reason she has been told that her hands are basically tied. Unless he breaks the law she can't have him put in the system, she can't emancipate him because he can't support himself and she can't kick him out because she is still legally required to support him. None of the programs she has looked into (some type of program run by the National Guard, Families in Need) will take him unless he voluntarily signs himself in. She is now at the point where she is ready to just let him live his life, do the minimum required by law for him (food, clothing,shelter, education) and let what happens happen.

Are there any legal ramifications for herself and her hubby to this approach? Would they be held liable for criminal acts he committed? Could he complain to CPS that they aren't taking care of him? (One thing they have told him is that they will tell him when to be home and if he doesn't make curfew they are locking the doors, going to bed and they'll see him in the morning--that one worries me some!)

I know what she has been through and I just don't want to see her get herself in trouble.

BTW, IAAL, I have read your "Brazil" solution. Amusing....and if she thought she could get away with it, I thiink she's' at the point where she'd try!

They need to look in to Tough Love or similar parenting programs in their area. The laws in each state vary in the area of what needs to be provided to children and what control a parent is permitted to have.

The bottom line is they are legally and financially responsible for him until he is 18. If he fails to go to school - they can get in trouble. If he gets hurt - they are liable. If he hurts someone else or does damge - they are liable. If he is wandering the streets - they are liable ... or can be.

There are variables in the whole thing, but they need to try and maintain control. And there ARE methods. But if they fail to exhaust the remedies available to them, they WILL get in trouble for their child running afoul of the system.

Its never easy ... but there are ways. They just need to find out what they are in your area.

Carl

CdwJava said:

They need to look in to Tough Love or similar parenting programs in their area.

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My response:

Boloney. Tough Love programs are designed by their creators to be continuing money pits, making someone else rich while they have some $5.50/hour employee screaming at your kid eight hours a day. What a load of bullsh*t.

Why spend thousands and thousands of dollars making someone rich, when your kid won't appreciate it after they're let out? Most kids that come out of those programs go right back to the way they were before thousands and thousands of dollars was spent on those little ungrateful miscreants. They learn REAL quick which buzz words to use to make it look like they've changed. They haven't. The kid's goal is to get out as soon as possible.

I'm telling you, the Brazil Method is a one-time payment and the problem is solved.

IAAL

Thanks, Carl, I appreciate your candor.

IAAL, like I said, if she thought she could get away with it.....

I've read some of the archives here and saw some posts about having a child declared incorrigible. Just how bad does a kid have to be to do that? If she wanted to try that, where would she start. And what would they do to her son?

frylover said:

Thanks, Carl, I appreciate your candor.

IAAL, like I said, if she thought she could get away with it.....

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My response:

All she has to do is try once. Besides, if someone should question her, all she has to say is, "You know, you may be right. I thought there was something missing on the flight home, but I just couldn't put my finger on it."

IAAL

So, do YOU have any kids wandering aimlessly around Brazil?

frylover said:

So, do YOU have any kids wandering aimlessly around Brazil?

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My response:

Yes, about 14 of 'em. Care to make it 15? I'll even change the sheets in anticipation of your arrival on my California King Size. Youza!!

IAAL

Oooh! Clean sheets! I am SO turned on!