Separated for 27 years, no will, gay father

What is the name of your state?arialWhat is the name of your state? I live in California but my mother who just died 6/15/04 lived in NY. Does he have the right to come in and distribute her personal belongings after living apart for 27 years and having a male lover? The situation is she owned her trailer and her car and everything in it, supposedly leaving no will and after 27 years of separation he moves right into her trailer and starts cleaning house giving and throwing things away but only after spending three days alone in the place. My mother has 5 children and 16 grandchildren for whom she worked her whole life to leave them something. He's cleaned out the trailer and is now trying to sell it and I'm afraid he's gonna get his hands on her 401K and her profit sharing even tho she stipulated it be left to her grandchildren. He signed the do not resesitate form in the hospital without consulting all of us and he ordered a partial autopsy. My mother didn't have alot but it's the principal here that she's being disgraced by him. I checked with the surgate department to see if maybe she left a will with the county or state without telling us but there was none. That department referred me to legal aid but when I went there they told me I made too much money to get any help from them. That I would have to hire a lawyer. Like I said I live in California and they live in NY. I have three brothers and a sister . My sister isn't his biological child but he did adopt her. My three brothers have issues with him and his gayness so they won't stand up to him. He mastered the art of manipulating them years ago. He physically tried to remove me from my mothers home and I shold have pressed charges just to stop or prolong him doing any more damage but I was trying to be the bigger, better person. What can I do? So I have a leg to stand on or should I just let my mother go down in disgrace?

What city did she die in? Her estate is going to be probated in the county of the state of the city where she died. You would first need to check at the county courthouse probate court for that city to see if dad has filed to become administrator of her estate. The administrator is the only person who has legal authority to dispose and sell/distribute her property. (If you need the address and phone number of the county courthouse probate court, please advise and I can find it for you.)

If dad hasn't filed to be administrator, then you or a probate attorney you hire can file to be administrator, which would then give administrator the legal authority to handle everything, claiming all accounts and perhaps selling the trailer if that is what administrator decides to do.

Is it likely that your mother has any other valuable assets other than the 401K and her profit sharing? It looks like your mother did not leave a will or she would have told someone where it was. Have you looked through her personal papers to find out if a will is there or her tax returns or for any correspondence that would show what the name of the company is that is holding her 401K and profit sharing account? Maybe you can find out more about the 401K and profit sharing by contacting your mother's employer, and the employer can look at her records to probably tell you the name of the company that is handling her accounts. The 401K and profit sharing will pass outside of probate since your mother, if she was properly informed, should have filled out forms designating the beneficiaries that she wanted this money to go to and probate will have no effect on that since the money will go directly to the beneficiaries.

As the husband, even though separated, he has the right to take charge by trying to handle matters, but he really has no business doing anything if he is not the legal administrator. The problem is that in New York, without a will, the surviving spouse is entitled to the first $50,000 in estate value, with anything over that going half to the spouse and half to the children, but it does not look like this estate will reach that amount unless the trailer is worth a significant amount of money.

I congratulate you for wanting to handle your mother's affairs in a responsible manner. At some point you may want to consult an attorney in the same county where the estate is going to be probated for advice about how to proceed. Best of luck to you!

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA ([email protected])