Taking Child on Vacation out of State

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? New Jersey
My husband and I have recently come to the conclusion that we can no longer remain married for various reasons.
We own a home that we purchased before we were married and is in my name alone. We have agreed that this home needs to be sold and the profit divided.
My husband,(who is not working, nor has he held a job for some time) has borrowed a considerable amount of monies from his parents for various repairs and assist in paying for the taxes. He wants this amount of money to be taken directly off of the top, and then what is left to be spilt between us.
I have no argument with him as far as paying his parents back, however, not all of these monies have gone into the home (some of which have gone to his drinking & drug problem), and also I feel that if he was working he never would have needed to borrow this money in the 1st place. I would like the house sold, the money divided, and then let him square up with whomever it is that he owes money to from his share.
Now the issue is this, I have recently booked a family vacation for our 17 month old child and myself. The trip is a cruise and 1 of the ports of call is in a non US territory. My husband has informed me that he will have the separation or divorce papers drawn up by his lawyer before I go away and has demanded I sign them to his terms or else he will contact the FBI in order to have me arrested for taking the child out of the state. Could he do this? Please advise.

Why don't you read THIS https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=186097 thread first. If you have further questions, then address them. But we've just discussed this situation AT LENGTH and if you'd followed the guidelines and done a search, you'd have seen it. Besides - what does this have to do with Child Support?

Cathie,
There is something VERY VERY VERY wrong with this picture.

You bought the house before you were married and it is in your name only. Your husband hasn't worked in some time and has a substance abuse problem.
He has borrowed money because he wasn't working and couldn't fulfill his obligations, no matter what they were.
You both agree you want a divorce.
Why on earth would you agree to sell the house and let him have half, if it is in your name and he hasn't worked in some time and he has a substance abuse problem?
If his parents loaned him money that is their problem, did you sign a contract?
Why would you ever agree to allow his attorney to draw up the papers and dictate such terms to you in such haste.
Please, use some common sense and see an attorney today, protect your and your child's rights!
Please reconsider your vacation plans, because when you leave you have no idea what he will do no matter where you go.

Taking Child on Vacation out of state

1st, let me apologize to Stealth2. I found the thread he was refering to and it did lend much needed information to my question. I'm sorry I wasted your valuable time and I thank you for your assistance.
To answer rmet4nzkx, when we purchased this home, it was done with most of my husband's money. For legal and credit reasons, the home was placed under my name. I realize that there are alot of cut throat people out there who would love nothing better than to take and run away with everything. This is not my MO. I would like this to be amicable since we have a child and need some form of a relationship. By giving him 1/2 of whatever the home sells for is what I feel would be fair. I certainly do not feel responsible for his other debts and he knows this which is why he is now threatening me should I take the child on vacation. I will take your advise and s/w a lawyer today to see what I will need to do after this. Thank you for your help.

No need for an apology - following the guidelines and searching for similar questions is sufficient. You know, where it says:

Then search the forums archive of over 600,000 previously posted Q & A s.

Click to expand...

Cathie,
I wasn't meaning to sound harsh or infer that you take the money an run, but you have to look at the big picture, right now as it stands you and your child are being taken advantage of.

Obviously, he had problems before you were married severe enought that while he had money he had no credit and or had obligations, so the house was put in your name, you had an understanding and or a contract.

By not fulfilling his obligaitons or maintaining employment he broke that contract and put you and your child at risk and that doesn't obligate you to repay him so he can squander the money on alcohol and drugs while he finds another woman to sponge off and support him. Perhaps it is more a gift to insure your child's future.

Do you honestly think that if you sign this agreement and sell the house and he gets some of the proceeds that he will stay around pay child support, will it be enough? Think about it, this is not suggesting you take the money and run, it is thinking about your child.

Thank you rmet4nzkx, I know that my child requires the financial stability and I should think about her future without any concerns of her daddy's well- being. I will certainly not be signing anything without a lawyer taking a look at it, and who knows, I may not be signing anything at all. This has all happened so quickly that I need some time to let it all sink in. But Thank you for your help.

Good, I'm glad you have gotten the picture! Such as it is! Call an attorney today, you be the one to be the petitioner, don't be on the receiving end. Document all his threats, keep copies of any documents he tries to get you to sign, tell him, you need to read it over and will let him know if he does this before you find an attorney. Start going through all the records you have, you will need them. Cancel your vacation plans until things are more stable and your attorney tells you it is ok. If and when you do take a vacation, make sure he doesn't know where and when, be sure someone you can trust, is at the house watching it when you are away. Prepare for a lot of demands to make you feel sorry for him, that is the name of his game and it will only bring you and your child pain. Your child can still have a relationship with her father, but it needs to be in her best interest, not his.

rmet4nzkx said:

If and when you do take a vacation, make sure he doesn't know where and when,

Click to expand...

This is fine as long as the vacation doesn't see the kid out of the country (like a cruise might). Because she will not be able to take the kid w/o Dad's written permission.

To Stealth2

Of course not out of the country w/o written permission, I would expect that her attorney would advise her, I did say, "your attorney tells you it is ok." that is another reason for canceling the present plans and being advised by her attorney.

What our poster feels is fair and what a judge will decide is fair can be two very different things. Our poster is married to someone who doesn't work, and who may very likely ask for alimony and a much larger slice of the pie then our poster is prepared to pay.