problems with g/f and daughter living together

What is the name of your state?OH

me and my girlfriend aren't married at all but have a daughter that is 5 months old. I finished building my house about 2 months after she was born. Since then my girlfriend has been living with me. We havn't been getting along at all. I pay 100% of the bills. She hasn't tried very hard to get a job at all. She has places that want to take her to court for unpaid bills. She signed up for college courses with federal aid and didn't go to school, and spent the finacial aid check on food and things for the house.

I work 40 hours a week and have do companies i do side work for. i am with my daughter nearly every morning, but she is sleeping when I come home. I go out and do things on sat. night and sometimes friday night if I have pre-made plans, but im alsways home on sunday to spend time with g/f daughter.

My girlfriend has no form of transportation or anything of value. If she moves out she claims that she can't move back in with her parents, even tho I think that she will move back with them. It is a mutual agreement that we can't live together. We are trying couseling next thursday to see how that works out, if it doesn't then we are spliting up.

Obviously she is going to file child support papers. She has told me ' I will try to get every penny out of you I can' before. I don't agree with her work ethics or lifestyle at all and am worried about myself losing my house that I worked so hard to build for myself.

We live in OH right now, but if she files for child support she will be filing in MI. Is it better for me to file in OH before she files in MI? Does anyone have any general advice?

Have you been legally established as the father? If so, file for custody or shared custody. The child is used to you and mom in her daily life, That should continue. Oh yeah, when YOU file (don't wait, get an attorney and file NOW, first) try to get a moveaway restriction in the agreement so your daughter stays within a reasonable distance of both her parents.

EDIT: yes I am on the bc and i know i am the father.

Well I will go to get the papers and file then.

I still care about my g/f tho and I don't want to have to file if she is going to stay with me. I am also worried about the courts saying I don't spend enough time with her. My g/f spends 24-7 with her and I do go out on the weekends to golf/watch the game/whatever and im afraid that she will use that against me in court.

I want to spend time with them, but I also want to spend time with my friends when they invite me to do something with them.

I don't want to make the wrong decision is all.

How about getting a sitter and having your GF ALSO do stuff either with you or on HER own without the baby? My husband and I each give each other our own time to be out, and go out together without our kiddo. He certainly does not expect me to always be the one to sit home- he watches our kid and I go to stuff. HE has his days to spend with the boys, and I have equal time to spend with the girls.

But Saturday nights are usually for US as a couple - not for him to hang out while I sit home. That's NOT what couples do. No wonder you have a problem.

Many women stay home. What is your problem? I guess you didn't bother to figure out how much child support is going to cost you huh? I'd say, close to 400-500 per month with or without half the daycare expenses (according to your state laws). It will also be increased every 3 years or larger salary increase. It might be cheaper to grow up & work this out before you find yourself being nothing but a visitor & wallet to your child. Your girlfriend has no marketable skills. You picked her to be the mother of your child knowing all this. After paying daycare, fuel, clothing & lunch she'll be lucky if she breaks even. Right now you are getting a maid, cook, nanny and bed-partner all on a salary of only 30,000 a year. Sheezzz.
I agree with Next. You are a FATHER now. A FAMILY man. You don't go out every weekend playing with your little friends. You do FAMILY things and you give HER a break. No wonder she's pissed off.
The two of you aren't kids anymore. You BOTH need to grow up. There is no reason why she can't take a night class or two when you get home from work. She could have her degree by the time the child starts school and be well on her way to nice high powered career making more money then YOU. However, by your posting I have a feeling that you would just whine about being stuck at home with your own kid.
But hey, that’s okay, you go do what you want to do. I can almost guarantee your next post will be how much the state is making you pay in child support. No golf for you! Don’t say you weren’t warned!
KAT

No thats totally wrong. I don't like her attitude, and I don't like how she is raising my child. She won't listen to my opinion. She is not taking doctor's advice on what the child should be eating, she is feeding her hard food. Just last sunday she almost choked on a piece of english muffin while we were camping and my dad noticed that she was choking on it.

Its really hard asking a quesion on these forums because there are so many different things that you can't say. We have counseling setup already for the both of us, hopefully it will work out.

If I do decide to file for custody, once I file can I retract? or will they be in the works without any stopping them?

Time to grow up, dude. You don't get to spend the entire weekend (oh, except for Sunday!) playing with your buddies. You have a new buddy. Your kid.

This happens so often... he is resentful of having to be the breadwinner. Guess what, Daddies are supposed to be!!!!! What good is it to send the baby to daycare, when what she would make would go to daycare, as prev. stated. She is staying home, and not blissfully happy. She should be. But, she isnt entitled to much of a break, she is a mother. When you become a parent, your life is o-v-e-r as you know it. ......please grow up.

This is not about youre weekends with your friends. If it is, realign your priorities. Her attitude that you don't like may be the frustration of being left all of the time. Being a mom is HARD!!! She needs time for herself so she doesn't go BONKERS!!! You get to go out with your friends, I'd be really pissed too if my SO went out allt he time and I couldn't! If you OFFER to let her go out and she declines, well that is another story. I comend you for getting into therapy. Hopefullyfor the sake of your child you can either work it out or at least get along.

RED,

Don't you ever have anything usefull to say?? I thought we were free of your 1880's attitude and your "I am right you are wrong" babble! It is this attitude that keep women uneducated so that when hubby goes and screws around with thier coworker they are screwed and cant support themselves or thier kids!!!