I MISS MY SON!!!! :(

posted September 19, 2000 08:34 PM
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Someone please tell me what to do. In feb. of 99 my husband left me. I came home from school to find all my stuff gone,and my son. He filed for divorce, and I set a court date to fight for custody of my son. The court date was missed, and never finalized. My husband since leaving me, has moved 7 times in the last 18 months.Living with family members, and being evicted from apartments due to his l&i being denied. Hes lived in a travel trailer , and now in a two bedroom cabin, with no plumbing, and seven people. I do not no how to drive, and never get to see my son because they now live a hour and a half from me. He is completly un willing to compromise and bring him to see me. I miss him terribley, and so do my other two children. I haven had him for a weekend, since december. If I take my son for a weekend, am I within my rights to refuse to return him, since custody is not orderd? I know this is drastic,but I dont know what to do. I have always been the one more willing to compromise, and if my son is in my care, I will do whats best for him. My husband gets to focused on his battles, and does whats best for himself not for the kids. I dont even no where to start!! Please help me! I cant afford a attorney, I am a fulltime college student and part time worker. I am broke! , but I have a nice stable home for my son. Sorry about the spelling and mess,,,,im very upset right now and doing this on a spur of the moment situation ( this mess. I mean not the custody issue)

If I am not mistaken, you can file temporary custody for you son, until the court date. (since there is no custody order.) What state do you live in? I can look up the family law codes for you. Also I can try to get you the forms and when filing you can request for a "wavier of filing fees" Also in certain courts, they have free legal advice centers (I am not sure of the correct name) that can help you filing out the paper work for free. Just let me know what state your in and I can help you find out.

If I am not mistaken, you can file temporary custody for you son, until the court date. (since there is no custody order.) What state do you live in? I can look up the family law codes for you. Also I can try to get you the forms and when filing you can request for a "wavier of filing fees" Also in certain courts, they have free legal advice centers (I am not sure of the correct name) that can help you filing out the paper work for free. Just let me know what state your in and I can help you find out.

Can you explain further what is happening with the filings and court stuff ... and of course which state you are in.

AS FAR AS COURT GOES, THE DIVORCE HAS BEEN FILED, AND I FILED THE FORM FOR A HEARING, AND IT WAS DROPPED BECAUSE WE FORGOT TO GO TO COURT. SO ITS ALL UP IN THE AIR. I AM IN THE STATE OF WASHINGTON, THANKS GUYS SO MUCH FOR YOU HELP.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TERRI:
AS FAR AS COURT GOES, THE DIVORCE HAS BEEN FILED, AND I FILED THE FORM FOR A HEARING, AND IT WAS DROPPED BECAUSE WE FORGOT TO GO TO COURT. SO ITS ALL UP IN THE AIR. I AM IN THE STATE OF WASHINGTON, THANKS GUYS SO MUCH FOR YOU HELP. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

How can you 'forget' to go to court ?

I FORGOT TO GO TO COURT, NEVER SAID I WAS PERFECT,,,I HAD MIDTERMS THAT DAY, AND IT COMPLETLY SLIPPED MY MIND.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TERRI:
I FORGOT TO GO TO COURT, NEVER SAID I WAS PERFECT,,,I HAD MIDTERMS THAT DAY, AND IT COMPLETLY SLIPPED MY MIND. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

YOUR CHILD IS NOT VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU THEN.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by acured:
YOUR CHILD IS NOT VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU THEN.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

that is not true at all. how can you say that. my child is everything to me. Its more complicated then you know, you dont know the whole story, so until you do, please do not judge me. I have two other kids, my kids are in a nice townhouse, safe, and my baby, is living in a cabin with seven people, and no plumbing, no new clothes to go to school, a father, who is denying me rights to see my son, a brother and sister that miss him so much they cant stand it. I was suppose to get him, the weekend before last, I got a ride, and went a hour and a half from my home, to pic him up. I waited from 230, to 450 to meet him at fredmeyer, and he didnt show up. My daughter cried all the way home. This is not easy, and If I didnt care about my son I wouldnt be here. My husband, refuses to work, or keep a stalbe home for our baby. I am a full time student, and worker. Im becoming a med. assistant, so I can give my kids what they need, like sports, nice clothes, a roof over there head, braces, toys at christmas,whatever they want. My x has a history of physical abuse, from when he tried to kill me by choking me to death when he was drunk. Yes, I filed charges. He has a history of mental problems too. Wich I have his medical records. If you want more details let me know Id be happy to tellyou.But, please dont think I dont care about my son. My x, jus left,,,,,,,took everything, and my kids were locked out on our doorstep when I came home from school, ,,,there dad was gone, brother, half our furniture, and our life, was a mess!!!! But,,,as you can see aside from not having my son, Mine is the life that is together now...not his

You have more than enough to petition and get custody.. but you have to show up to get it.. You state you do not know where you are today and it is up in the air.. well, get a grip of it all and sort it out..

Find out from the clerk where the case is and if you have to refile..

Although acured's point is said badly, the point I they are trying to make is that the hearing should have been the most important date in your calender. If you had shown up, you may today have custody.


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Psst.. I am not an attorney, and even if I was, I would not tell you. What I am giving you is not legal advice in anyway. For proper legal advice, retain a person who openly admits they are an attorney.

Here is a site that might help you.http://www.courts.wa.gov/selfhelp/services.cfm

Look under the Family Law Facilitators, they have them for different counties. They can help you get the paper work you need and help you fill them out. Good luck.

I understand what he was saying. At the time of the missed court date, it was not as important, i was considering letting him go ahead and live with his dad, but, and I got a mediator, but since then, he has moved the seven times, and has denied me access to my son. So , now It is the most important thing to me of all. I know living with me is whats best, and his father has not changed and will not compomise


i <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TERRI:
that is not true at all. how can you say that. my child is everything to me. Its more complicated then you know, you dont know the whole story, so until you do, please do not judge me. I have two other kids, my kids are in a nice townhouse, safe, and my baby, is living in a cabin with seven people, and no plumbing, no new clothes to go to school, a father, who is denying me rights to see my son, a brother and sister that miss him so much they cant stand it. I was suppose to get him, the weekend before last, I got a ride, and went a hour and a half from my home, to pic him up. I waited from 230, to 450 to meet him at fredmeyer, and he didnt show up. My daughter cried all the way home. This is not easy, and If I didnt care about my son I wouldnt be here. My husband, refuses to work, or keep a stalbe home for our baby. I am a full time student, and worker. Im becoming a med. assistant, so I can give my kids what they need, like sports, nice clothes, a roof over there head, braces, toys at christmas,whatever they want. My x has a history of physical abuse, from when he tried to kill me by choking me to death when he was drunk. Yes, I filed charges. He has a history of mental problems too. Wich I have his medical records. If you want more details let me know Id be happy to tellyou.But, please dont think I dont care about my son. My x, jus left,,,,,,,took everything, and my kids were locked out on our doorstep when I came home from school, ,,,there dad was gone, brother, half our furniture, and our life, was a mess!!!! But,,,as you can see aside from not having my son, Mine is the life that is together now...not his<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>