trying to leave New Jersey

Recently I asked the father of my daughter if he would just let me and our daughter move out of state since I am not from here. He is planning on moving to Florida, so I explained it is not fair for me to have to stay in a state that is very expensive to live (I am currently going to school to earn my degree in English--it is very expensive here and I could save $ elsewhere), and where I have no family to call on for help (I am from the west coast). However, when he found out I was in a relation, finally, with someone else, he renigged on his okay. Problem is, I had moved all my daughter's and my belongings out of state while he had her for one week(which was part of the agreement). We were in the process of drawing up the final papers which he was to sign when I returned. I eloped during the move and this infuriated my ex (to whom I was never married). Now he is refusing to sign the papers until he "decides" what he wants to do. My lawyer says I have to "kiss his a--" and just wait. Meahwhile, I have no job and all our stuff is in another state. My lawyer seems to forget the guy is a drug user and has never EVER paid taxes or even claimed an income his entire working career. I am tired of playing games and being toyed with. Should I get a new lawyer? My ex says that I deceived him and that changes everything. He is insinuating I am incapable of caring for my daughter-in a mental capacity. I feel the time to act is now, get a court date set up and just go for it. I have been waiting now for 3 weeks and I am running out of money. HELP!

If your attorney is not willing to help, get a new one! Look at family codes in your current state and the new state. Do you have court ordered visitaion papers as of now? If not, then he can't make you stay. If so, then Let him think that you are going to stay and let him move, then you can move as well. Either way, I would try my best to get along with him (as hard as that sounds) but it's in your best interest NOT to make it look like you're keeping the child from him. You don't have to tell him everything, find out where he's getting his info from, and don't tell everyone your plans- that may be how he knows what you're doing. Seek legal advice from another attorney (don't tell the new attorney that your looking for a new one) Go in for a free consultation, ask alot of questions, if the "new" attorney seems like he knows what he's talking about, dump the old. Keep in mind that your child is important and don't put him/her in the middle and don't deny access to the father!

Skorpio

Thanks for the advice (Skorpio). I do not deny him access. Since, I have petitioned him to leave I have been giving him access to her basically whenever he wants. Three times already he's done no shows (because he was out drinking -from what I found out). Yes, he does have visitation est. but since he had her for that week it hasn't been even upheld. It's basically whenever he calls and says I want to pick her up tonight. I am going to get advice from another attorney.

I am thinking of hiring a private investigator to get hard evidence on his "partying", could I use this in court?I have done everything in the past four years to be nice and give him the opportunity to be a good father. I have never tried to deny him that. I feel it is extremely important for my daughter. However, I caught him last fall passed out in bed with another woman AND my daughter in bed. We went through a huge court battle then when he and his family made threats to me. I tried Child protective services and nothing came of it. His urinalysis came back diluted. So I made the offer that if he went to counseling he could have overnights with her again. He went twice. I feel I have been walked all over again and again. That is my fault. But that is why I hired an attorney. Because I need someone to fight. He hasn't, that I know of been under the influence of anything while she has been in his care since the last battle. But, if I am pretty sure that he has resumed his partying and has begun to accelerate the amount that he does it will it be useful in a court case?

I just feel that if he is being sneaky I have to have as much info as possible. Right?

Listen to my advice very carefully.. you only have to give him 30 days written notice of your intent to move. It is then up to him to petition the courts and try and stop you. If you have given him notice and it has been 30 days, tell him to kiss your arse and leave.

The only exception to this is if you have something in your original court order stating you can not move. In that case, you petition the courts for permission to move and let him object if he wants to.

The fact that he is also leaving the state adds a great deal more weight to your case if it should go to court. Also, since you are both leaving home state, you will both have to share the travel costs instead of just you.

I assume you have court ordered custody ? ..

If your attorney is telling you to kiss your ex's arse then get another attorney.

Good luck with the move and stop taking crap from this man.



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Psst.. I am not an attorney, and even if I was, I would not tell you. What I am giving you is not legal advice in anyway. For proper legal advice, retain a person who openly admits they are an attorney.

I have physical custody only. And yes, the last agreement said I was to remain in New Jersey. Even if I hadn't put it in, I was told that should I leave I would be arrested for kidnapping. This guy has been incredible, he gets away with everything. If I told you everything you'd wonder why he even had visitation.
I really wish I had known about this freeadvice before I had retained my lawyer last fall. Thank you so much for your advice.

Does my getting married really make a difference? I haven't been in a relationship with my ex in over a year? I should think it would help. My new husband is an aeronautical engineer, a strong Christian, and very stable. I would be able to provide much better for my daughter than I am now and I would be able to finish my degree with less stress. Plus, our home would be very stable and she would see her mother in a relationship where she is loved. My ex is in the bar business, lives with a buddy who also drinks alot and is going to move to Miami Beach to promote bars. We (my daughter and I) are moving to Huntsville,AL, which is where my husband is and which is closer to Florida than New Jersey.

If your agreement says not to move, then forget your ex, petition the court to change it. No judge is going to stop you from moving and any objection will look totally stupid from your ex since he is moving to FL and you want to move to AL. A judge would laugh him out of court.

If you current attorney is not up to it, dump them.

Thank you so much. You have given me some confidence.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by angelsange:
Thank you so much. You have given me some confidence.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Your welcome.. and remember, you do not have to deal with your ex EVERY if you do not want to.. attorneys, letters etc..

Good luck..



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Psst.. I am not an attorney, and even if I was, I would not tell you. What I am giving you is not legal advice in anyway. For proper legal advice, retain a person who openly admits they are an attorney.

This is the information you would need for angelsange's other question...

Tig