parental rights termination

my ex-husband who is forever trying to find new ways to evade child support contacted me to inform me he is filing to terminate his rights to our four and five year olds. he lives in connecticut and i'm in virginia. i was granted sole legal custody with no visitation when we divorced, he never asked for anything else. he has seen the kids twice in 3 years, both times a disaster. he has had subsequent kids and says he can't afford to support mine. i am concerned he'll be able to terminate and say he doesn't know where i'm at to notify me of the preceedings. the last contempt court date-i wasn't there-he told the judge he was terminating with my permission and was given a continuance to do so. i am going to connecticut for that court date however i can't afford to go there every time we have a court date, since he's in court date every month since he doesn't pay at all. do i need a lawyer in connecticut or virginia since this is where i live now? also when i told him i wouldn't consent he said he was going to sue me for custody then...i desperately need advice...

I don't know about what state you need a lawyer in for all of this, but I do know that judges see men try to get out of paying support by demanding custody of the children every day. They are wise to this evasive manuver. No judge would remove children from the only home they have known just because dad wants to get out of paying support. (My ex threatened me the same way, but never did anything about it because he knew he didn't stand a chance/just trying to intimidate me into stopping support proceedings.) He would have to prove considerable change in circumstances, like you are abusive or neglecting the kids before his request would be considered.

I think you are wise to get a lawyer to represent you for his hearings, you never know what you ex may try to pull behind your back...good luck

No judge will allow him to terminate his rights in the manner you have mentioned. He is lying. I suggest however you do not miss any court dates, ever.

If the action is happening in CT then you should get an attorney there.. but look to have the case moved to VA as they hold juridiction. Forget what the ex say, file the contempt charges and keep doing so, eventually he will go to jail if he does not pay.


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Psst.. I am not an attorney, and even if I was, I would not tell you. What I am giving you is not legal advice in anyway. For proper legal advice, retain a person who openly admits they are an attorney.

If he hasn't paid anything and doesn't want to see the children- so be it! I lost Custody of my child due to my ex wanting to get back at me and alot of other issues. He didn't want to pay support, and he won. I went into depression and am still there now (three years later). I would definately get it in writing that he wants to terminate Parental Rights and Obligations, etc. get it notarized, or go to an Attorney and have it written up. Why would you want a "dead beat" in your children's life? Yeah, they have a right to know and learn who their father is- but you also need to protect them from someone who doesn't care. Don't lie to them, but don't tell them everything either.

Skorpio