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Father left California last night

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Bambi37001

Guest
This is an update of my previous post. The children's father left the state last night without notice to me or to the court. He has not filed an OSC or left me with a forwarding address or phone. To prevent looking as if he wasn't using his visitation priveleges, he "assigned" his visitation schedule to his father before he left and even had his father bring the children home to me last night. What a coward. I have talked to his father and feel that I am right in saying that whatever arrangement they made, is not legal. I have left a letter with the school saying that no one is authorized to pick them up in lieu of their father. I had also written their father a letter stating the same and also reasons why I felt three months in the summer was ridiculous as he is very certain he will get, but was not able to deliver it to him directly because he did not show up. I need to send him this letter but now have no way to get it in his hands. I imagine I should send it certified to his current address and then when it comes back, I will just hold on to it for when we do eventually go back to court. Does that sound right? Secondly, how long should I wait before going down to the courthouse and filing the OSC myself? From what I hear, they do not have a residence and will be living in a motel until further notice, but did not even know which motel they would be staying in when they left. Since his wife is on federal parole, I am sure they are keeping a close eye on her as they travel about, so it shouldn't be too hard to find him in the next month or so. I am thinking that I should file for sole custody with him having reasonable visitation. What I would like to see is him coming to California to visit with the children instead of them going to New Mexico and being uprooted from an environment where they feel safe and comfortable. My oldest son is suffering from anxiety disorders due to so many changes in his life, but his father refused to sign papers so that he could continue with counseling. Meanwhile, he continues to suffer and I don't think he deserves to be shuffled about any more than necessary. By the way, he is ten and says he really doesn't care to see his father, even though I encourage it. Any thoughts or opinions on this? We have joint legal custody. Do custodial parents ever get awarded sole legal custody, or does there have to be major bad things that dad does to lose that right?
I think I will get through this...won't I?
ALL ENCOURAGEMENT WELCOME : )
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Ukiah

Guest
Provide the school a copy of the most current custody papers. If they state that the father has specific dates he is allowed to pick up the child(ren) then you need to go back to court and explain what is going on. You can also let the teachers know and change the Emergency card to only provide your information Also talk to as many authority figures at the school to get the necessary information as to what they can and can't do for your child. But do you feel it is right to leave the grand parents out of the child's life? I would also consult an attorney a, reputable one, about the legal proceedings. You will get through this and keep your focus on the children and their best interest (as the courts will do).

Good luck on your Bumpy road ahead,

Ukiah

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All that you have read in no way is Legal Advice, it is a matter of opinion to help you in your quest
 
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Bambi37001

Guest
I guess I accidently double posted, but will respond to Ukiah's question.
I'm definitely not disallowing contact between the boys and their grandfather. In fact, I am encouraging it, provided that it is arranged between him and I and not "assigned" by their father. I don't expect Grandpa to assume the role of father in this family. Currently, father has 25% visitation. That is a huge burden to put on a man who has a life of his own and has raised his children already. If the boys want to spend a Saturday with Grandpa or an overnight sometime, I would love to see that happen. He knows how I feel and understands. He's also trying to cover his son's irresponsible butt. Kind of caught in the middle I suppose. Grandpa is a good guy, but he is just that...Grandpa.
Does that make sense?
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