Uncontrollable 16 yo in FL

My 16yo son has been in trouble twice w/law,
but had alternative sentencing program so
cases were closed after successful completion
of the program. But..he has dropped out of
school, enrolled in night school, but won't
attend. Won't work. Just sleeps, eats, hangs
out with friends. Mostly refuses to do any
chores or help at home. If I push him or say
NO to something, he loses his temper promptly
& cusses me. Have had a couple of very near
violent arguments. He has just barely restrained himself from hitting me. He uses
very bad language, listens to filthy music.
I also have two younger children who see &
hear the way he talks to me, and how he acts.
I feel that I should do something, but I don't know what to do. I don't think I'm doing him any favors in allowing this situation to continue like this. But I am so
afaid to become involved with the courts.
Because I don't have much faith that there
would any programs that might help him.
Foster homes? Group homes? What? He won't
follow any rules of our home, but if we tell
him to leave because he won't follow our rules, then we're liable for whatever damage
he might do like car accidents, thefts, etc.,
aren't we? If I do turn to courts, what would be the first step? Can anyone offer
advice? I love him so much, but I can't keep
living like this, & I can't keep letting my
younger children see him getting away with
being a disrespectful, lazy bum. Please help
Thank you.

x

[This message has been edited by Always searching (edited October 14, 2000).]

A wise man once wrote...

*
Tell him you and he are going on a trip together to Mexico; you know, a "let's get to know each other and bonding" trip. He'll love the idea.

When you get to your destination, and he's settled into the hotel room, just tell him you're going to the gift shop to buy a magazine and will be right back.

Go to the front desk and check out. Leave $300.00 with the desk clerk to give to him, when he comes asking for you.

Get on the airplane and leave him there.
*

Since I am not a wise man .. then I suggest you call 1-888-4-1-FAMILY where a counselor will answer questions and direct you to a community resource that specializes in working with youths who are hard to control.

Also visit http://www.djj.state.fl.us/faqs.html
and read it all.. especially the 4th question. Good luck.



------------------
Psst... I do not work for Macdonald’s or Burger King, and even if I did, I would not tell you. For sloppy bread, tired tomatoes, frozen onions, watered down mayonnaise and imitation meat, please find a drive through window with a person who openly admits they make that stuff.

My advice above is equal to the advice they would give if you asked that person a legal question.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Always searching:
This is just a suggestion. My husband and I did this and it was drastic but it worked. We had two that were acting badly. We were going nuts. We decided to sell as much as we could and moved so far away from their friends that they were forced to straighten up. We had no phone for one year. We entered them both in an alternative school to eliminate them picking up with similar bad apples. They had to work because the money tree (dad and I) weren't banks any more. They hated us and to be perfectly honest, I wasn't thrilled with them either. One is doing ok now (he is having more relationship problems than alcohol) and the other one is a different human being. He is a supervisor for a large internet company, has short hair and dresses neatly. He doesn't even drink alcohol. This is the one that was strung out so badly too. He is mr. conservative now too. The buddies are what encourage bad behavior. Take them away from the buddies and you will see a difference. It was drastic and money wise it was a sacrifice but one was into drugs so bad that he would have killed himself or someone else and the other one had lousy friends and was huffing with his friends. We had to do something drastic or loose them both. We tried the Juvenile Justice way but it became a prize every time they defied us. My sister in law did the same thing for her son and he is an attorney in Houston. You never would have known that he was a pothead from hell. So there you have it, three wild child boys saved by drastic measures. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Dear always, Thanks for responding to my
posting. I appreciate your suggestion. We
have thought of moving away from friends,too.
Just hoping to get lots of feedback to sort
thru. Thanks again!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LegalBeagle:
A wise man once wrote...

*
Tell him you and he are going on a trip together to Mexico; you know, a "let's get to know each other and bonding" trip. He'll love the idea.

When you get to your destination, and he's settled into the hotel room, just tell him you're going to the gift shop to buy a magazine and will be right back.

Go to the front desk and check out. Leave $300.00 with the desk clerk to give to him, when he comes asking for you.

Get on the airplane and leave him there.
*

Since I am not a wise man .. then I suggest you call 1-888-4-1-FAMILY where a counselor will answer questions and direct you to a community resource that specializes in working with youths who are hard to control.

Also visit http://www.djj.state.fl.us/faqs.html
and read it all.. especially the 4th question. Good luck.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Dear Legal,
You are crazy!! It took me a few minutes to
get the gist of your advice, because I am in
serious mode, but when I got it, I cracked up
laughing, thanks, I needed that too. Thank
you also for the info about where to look
for help. You guys & girls are great! Keep
up the good work!!

Have you thought about boot camp? Some of those places really do make an impression on the child! My brother in law was a troublemaker and was arrested many times and put on probation, he hated his mom, and etc. When the Court ordered him to boot camp, he straighten up and is flying right! He has gone back to school and is making more money than I am!! He has a great wife and 2 great children, and you know what??? He knows what is is like to be on both ends now Brat and Parent, and he takes his new role very seriously and hopes his children won't do the same thing he did!

Lots of luck!

Skorpio