earilyout ?'s

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?Maryland/UCMJ

I am currently serving in the US Army and already served one tour in Iraq. I just PCSed out of Germany and I am now stationed at Fort Detrick, MD. My wife is also in the military and is still is Germany. The military will not allow us to be stationed together for maybe up to 2 years. Is there anyone that can give me some advice on how I can get my wife out of the military legally. I know there has to be a loop hole somewhere. I don't know what else to do. It's seems that all the ways I have found so far end in a Other than Honorable discharge. Wife wife already has a BS in criminal justice and wants to be a police officer after she gets out. I don't want to ruin her chances for that with a Other than Honorable Discharge. Please help.

Here is the way

Get her pregnant.

Her getting pregnant will not get her an honorable discharge or even guarantee that she is released from her contractural obligations.

Suck it up and do the time. You and your wife contracted for it now honor it.

Or are you such a momma's-boy that you have to have wifies tittie to nuzzle against?

gphjr said:

Get her pregnant.

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That will not get her out of the military. It will only add to the stress by putting a long distance father and daycare into the picture. Not mention, it will not stop her or you from being deployed at the same time. You must provide for long term care if you decide to have children.

You two knew the problems associated with MIL to MIL marriages when you got married. Now you must deal with it for a short period of time. Don't ruin things for short term interests or desires.

OH, this might work. Get a divorce on the grounds she is now Gay. She must then profess her change in sexual interest to her first sergeant. She must state that you were not satisfying her needs and found that women satisfy her so much better. That might work. However, there are no guarantees that there will not be other undesirable repercussions.

Military regulations do allow for a pregnant soldier to be released from active duty. Upon medical confirmation of pregnancy, all soldiers will be counseled by their unit commander concerning their options and responsibilities. They will be allowed up to 7 days to choose to remain on active duty or be separated not later than 30 days prior to the expected date of delivery or the latest date the military physician determines the soldier can travel. If a soldier has not completed the initial statutory obligation, she will be transferred to the Inactive Ready Reserve until such time. If she has completed it, she will be discharged. She will receive an honorable discharge unless her record of service indicates otherwise. If she chooses to remain on active duty, she will be expected to fully perform all assigned duties, deploy wherever the Army needs her & make all appropriate arrangements for the care of her dependents. In my opinion, anyone who would get pregnant for this purpose doesn't deserve to be a parent. Unlike the other replies, this information is correct, I have worked for the military for over 28 years, with over 12 years as a retirements & separations manager.

IrishLady47:

Unlike the other replies, this information is correct,

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That was a little high and mighty not to mention Wrong. Okay, partially correct. I will be nice.

If I may retort:
"Upon the request of a soldier and approval of the separation authority, separation may be directed when it is considered that continued membership and service would result in genuine or undue hardship."

Pregnancy falls under that provision.

In other words, it is not automatic. There are many factors involved. Most importantly, it must be approved by the separation authority. Sooooo, the mere fact that she got pregnant does not automatically mean she will be discharged. Most women will receive a discharge if they ask, but there are those who have been caught unaware that it is not an automatic privilege.

This may not be true for each branch of the Armed Forces as they each have their own administrative regulations, but it is true of the US Army. What you are quoting in the Army would be covered under Chapter 6, AR 635-200, Hardship Discharge which covers any family situation wherein the soldier's discharge would alleviate the hardship (parenthood, death in family, etc). This is solely up to the discretion of the approval authority. However, Chapter 8, AR 635-200, requires that every pregnant soldier shall be counseled in regards to their options & responsibilities AND specifically authorizes the discharge of pregnant soldiers if that is the option chosen by the pregnant soldier. It is not the commander's or the separation authority's discretion. If the pregnant soldier chooses to be released from active duty, it is processed, ALWAYS. I'm not trying to be high & mighty, but, this is my job--what I do everyday. I will not address the other services without appropriate research--what you say may be true (maybe). However, in regards to Army regulations, you are incorrect.

Reply

I am sorry if a lot of you are thinking that I am just crying about this whole situation. I just want the best for my wife. In everything I do she comes first. I know that the whole "suck it up and drive on" theory sound great and yes you are right maybe we should. But I already went to Iraq I was there from the beginning I know what it's like down there. I myself got EVACed from down there. I now have 5 wholes in my stomac and both of my wrist will not stay in the socket. I have given everything and served my country proudly. But after seeing and doing what I have. I couldn't bare the thought of my baby down there. I will always put my wife exactly where she belongs. And that is FIRST. No matter what ever happens she always comes first. So if you think differently then I then I respect that. You do have that right. All I am asking is if you can help me than please do if not say what you wish because I am out there fighting everyday so you can have that right. And to all the soldiers reading this "thank you and god bless you." I am sorry to anyone I might have offended by these statement.

Boone25 said:

I am sorry if a lot of you are thinking that I am just crying about this whole situation. I just want the best for my wife. In everything I do she comes first. I know that the whole "suck it up and drive on" theory sound great and yes you are right maybe we should. But I already went to Iraq I was there from the beginning I know what it's like down there. I myself got EVACed from down there. I now have 5 wholes in my stomac and both of my wrist will not stay in the socket. I have given everything and served my country proudly. But after seeing and doing what I have. I couldn't bare the thought of my baby down there. I will always put my wife exactly where she belongs. And that is FIRST. No matter what ever happens she always comes first. So if you think differently then I then I respect that. You do have that right. All I am asking is if you can help me than please do if not say what you wish because I am out there fighting everyday so you can have that right. And to all the soldiers reading this "thank you and god bless you." I am sorry to anyone I might have offended by these statement.

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Sir,

What branch of service is your wife in? What is the length of her current enlistment?

You have not offended anybody. America stands behind you in this difficult time for our country, but unfortunetly there may not be anything you can do.

Boone25 said:

I am sorry if a lot of you are thinking that I am just crying about this whole situation. I just want the best for my wife. In everything I do she comes first. I know that the whole "suck it up and drive on" theory sound great and yes you are right maybe we should. But I already went to Iraq I was there from the beginning I know what it's like down there. I myself got EVACed from down there. I now have 5 wholes in my stomac and both of my wrist will not stay in the socket. I have given everything and served my country proudly. But after seeing and doing what I have. I couldn't bare the thought of my baby down there. I will always put my wife exactly where she belongs. And that is FIRST. No matter what ever happens she always comes first. So if you think differently then I then I respect that. You do have that right. All I am asking is if you can help me than please do if not say what you wish because I am out there fighting everyday so you can have that right. And to all the soldiers reading this "thank you and god bless you." I am sorry to anyone I might have offended by these statement.

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Look, I've been there. Twice. Gulf and Afghanistan. Twice does not depict the number of times I've been in the AOR, just the two different conflicts. I empathize with your situation. Really. I don't know how many times I had to leave my wife and kids at home and I would have never wanted her to go where I have been. She asked several times what I thought about her going active and we decided it would not be in our best interest. However; your spouse decided to join, or had joined when you met, and there is no way that an NCO or Officer could condone you getting your wife pregnant just to get her out of her contract with the US military. She has an obligation and so do you. You must let her honor hers as well as you honoring yours. Very few outside the military understand the commitment or what is required. You do, even if you do not want to realize it. If you didn't have some integrity, you wouldn't have posed here with this question. You need to look inside and decide what is morally right and make your decision.

IrishLady47 may be right about the Army letting her go if she gets pregnant. AND I agree that anyone who gets pregnant just to get out of the military should not be a parent. That does not show responsibility and that is exactly what parenting is...responsibility. Lots of it. Again, you (both of you) have to make your own decision.

I hope you make the choice that you can live with. It always made me proud when someone thanked me for my service. I now pass that on to you....thank you. I hope the best for you and you spouse.

Reply

My wife and I are both Active duty Army MP's. VR Hunter, I truely do understand what you are saying. But in your time of being in the military you have met many people that just should not be in the Military. Some because of lack of common sence to the opposite end of the spectum is so smart and just can't deal with the way the Army works. I don't mean that in a bad way at all. Some people just weren't cut out for the "Army life". Yes she signed the papers and yes I do believe that in a way she is obligated to fullfill that duty. You also stated about that fact that you had to leave your wife for a deployment. I could understand if one of us were being deployed but we not right now. I am now at a garrison post and she isn't deploying until next year sometimebout how much they try to help families but all they had to do is put me in her unit and everything would have been fine. But they didn't they decided to move me to the states and leave her in Germany. All of this came because after I got EVACed from Iraq my unit treated me like a POS soldier because I was not 100%. After they made my life horible for 6 months they violated my profile that at the time I was on and injured me pretty badly. I did a congessional. All of my paperwork to stay in Germany disappeared. 5 times. That is why I can't be OK with all of this. I went to war for my Country and even got injured and does that matter? NO All I wanted was to be with my wife. Deploy me, work me to death, or PT me til I collaps but as long as I have my wonderfull wife right there in would never even phase me. I need her and she needs me. If that sounds all sappy and weak of me to say than so be it. But I love her and not even the US Army can keep us apart. Oh and before I forget who said anything about us trying to get pregnant. We want to wait til after our Army life so that we can enjoy it. Instead of Daddy or Mommy watching all of their babies first on video before they never had time to spend with them. Some people can do it I just couldn't. That's just me.

Boone25 said:

My wife and I are both Active duty Army MP's. VR Hunter, I truely do understand what you are saying. But in your time of being in the military you have met many people that just should not be in the Military. Some because of lack of common sence to the opposite end of the spectum is so smart and just can't deal with the way the Army works. I don't mean that in a bad way at all. Some people just weren't cut out for the "Army life". Yes she signed the papers and yes I do believe that in a way she is obligated to fullfill that duty. You also stated about that fact that you had to leave your wife for a deployment. I could understand if one of us were being deployed but we not right now. I am now at a garrison post and she isn't deploying until next year sometimebout how much they try to help families but all they had to do is put me in her unit and everything would have been fine. But they didn't they decided to move me to the states and leave her in Germany. All of this came because after I got EVACed from Iraq my unit treated me like a POS soldier because I was not 100%. After they made my life horible for 6 months they violated my profile that at the time I was on and injured me pretty badly. I did a congessional. All of my paperwork to stay in Germany disappeared. 5 times. That is why I can't be OK with all of this. I went to war for my Country and even got injured and does that matter? NO All I wanted was to be with my wife. Deploy me, work me to death, or PT me til I collaps but as long as I have my wonderfull wife right there in would never even phase me. I need her and she needs me. If that sounds all sappy and weak of me to say than so be it. But I love her and not even the US Army can keep us apart. Oh and before I forget who said anything about us trying to get pregnant. We want to wait til after our Army life so that we can enjoy it. Instead of Daddy or Mommy watching all of their babies first on video before they never had time to spend with them. Some people can do it I just couldn't. That's just me.

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At this point, reading your last post, I am suggesting the following.

Make a appt. with mental health.(Please listen). Through mental health, documented the stress and anxiety you are under you may have a chance.

You know as well as I that the military world is different from civilian.

What you and your wife may be facing however is a discharge from service. If you are not prepared for that option, then you need to live with the decisions that the military has made.

I am not saying you are mental, and hoping you can read between the lines here.

Good luck, I just don't think I can further assist you. I am a civilian , I know the law in regards to the military, I have lived the life, and was spoon fed by a father who was a officer. I have noticed a few responding to you that have lived the military also.

What I don't understand is why you were not given the option of immediate discharge with benifits if you were injured with five holes in your stomach, and two wrists not working.


At this point, that is your option.

Good luck,

and ThankYou for your service to this country.

To keep this simple, you must make a choice. To honor you and your spouse's commitment or to try and cut it short. Going to Mental Health will do some serious damage to your career. If you need to go, please go. But if you know what is right and wrong, don't go to "family services". It will hurt you.

If you were hurt in a conflict, as you suggested, then you have a way out. Your spouse does not. Do not screw yourself or anyone else because you can't wait to get laid. I know that sounds crass, but be sure before you get married and try to bend the rules. I was being nice there.

Look, my wife needs me and I DO need her. No doubt. All I am saying is that getting her pregnant to get out of service is wrong. No if's, and's, or but's. Your needs are #1. Not mine. Get help or do not. Just do what is right for you. VR.

VR_Hunter said:

To keep this simple, you must make a choice. To honor you and your spouse's commitment or to try and cut it short. Going to Mental Health will do some serious damage to your career. If you need to go, please go. But if you know what is right and wrong, don't go to "family services". It will hurt you.

If you were hurt in a conflict, as you suggested, then you have a way out. Your spouse does not. Do not screw yourself or anyone else because you can't wait to get laid. I know that sounds crass, but be sure before you get married and try to bend the rules. I was being nice there.

Look, my wife needs me and I DO need her. No doubt. All I am saying is that getting her pregnant to get out of service is wrong. No if's, and's, or but's. Your needs are #1. Not mine. Get help or do not. Just do what is right for you. VR.

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Hi VRH,

The poster is married, and the option of getting pregnant never came from the poster.

I can't begin to crawl into someone elses shell, But for the fact the poster has demonstrated a need for answers that we cannot give him.

There is alot more to this, and only the poster know's. I feel he is emotional and not thinking military at this point. I can' hardly blame him, but the facts are facts.

Reply #3

Yes i was hurt in a conflict. Yes I could have gotten out. No I do not want to get out of the military. My wife does. Nothing about the military does she like and or want to do. The thing that gets me is the Army will help this person and that person but then turn their back on another. I respect her opinion, if she want out than I will help her to get there. I will do my best to get her out in a manner that will not hurt her image down the road. This isn't an attemp to just get "LAID" thank you. I just thought that I would write a message on this board to see if anyone could give me some advise. You never know who is out there that just might want to help a soldier. I totally understand what she is talking about because you and I see it everyday. I didn't get out because I am not a person that will let the Army "win". They have treated me like SH*T as soon as I wasn't 100%. I will not let them get rid of me that quickly. But as far as my wife is concerned, The military can do what they want with me do they WILL NOT keep me away from my wife. VR HUNTER it's ok I see that the military and serving your country is more important than your wife. If your wife said tommarrow that she doesn't want you in the military anymore she can't take being away from you anymore. WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE??? Don't try to pull the whole "She would never ask me to do that." Card either.