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kinship foster parents violating rules/regulations DHR and foster parent handbook

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easytulip

Guest
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Alabama

From : Linda
and family
Re: Foster Parents Dwight and Christina
thru DHR
Foster children Virgina 7/23/96
and Warren Jr. (DJ) 12/19/01
Mother, Amber

We seem to be getting no where. The kinship foster parents
of Virgina and DJ, refuse to cooperate in any way. We just
left an ISP meeting that was a waste of time for everyone.
We are flustrated, disappointed, mad, hurt and everything
in between. I am upset at our system when foster parents
are allowed to call the shots.
This ISP meeting was ordered by the judge to reach some
agreement for fair visitation for my daughter Amber to spend
time with her children, Virginia and DJ. The foster parents
have gone against the judge, I am curious as to how they
will lie their way out of this one. I wonder if its in their favor
that Christina has family that is an attorney at DHR.
I do hope this is not the reason they have been allowed to
violate Virginia, DJ, and Ambers rights time and time again,
to lie and get away with it. I feel like my hands are tied
and its only getting worse. Virginia and DJ will be returned
to their mother, soon. I am sure the FP will find a way
to fight that decission also. What is the purpose of The Foster
Parent Handbook and the rules and regulations of DHR ??
The FP have made up their own rules and it doesn't seem
matter that they have broken all the rules.
Who is in charge ??? Does anyone know ???
RULES THEY HAVE BROKEN :
1. lying : not notifying family members of court dates or
ISP meetings (some of that is the fault of the past social
worker) lying to Amber , telling her she could not be a part
of homework, school activities, bath and bed time, birthdays
etc... She was not even allowed to speak to her children on
Mothers Day
The handbook states those activities are enouraged.
Amber still has her parental rights.
2. not answering the phone or returning family messages.
3. changing their home phone # to a non-published #
4. keeping Virgina from having family contact as a means of
punishment
5. after finding out their new #, some time later they blocked
any phone calls from our home
6. not allowing Virgina and DJ to have postal mail from family
7. they had scheduled Virgina and DJ to have surgery, and
had no intentions of notifying Amber (that was stopped)
8. not notifying Amber when her children were sick or injured
9. not respecting the feeling of Virgina and DJ (making uncalled
for comments in front of Virgina and causing a confrontation
with family members in front of Amber and DJ
10. telling Virgina if she did not behave, she would be taken
from their home (Virgina has ADHD)
11. making trips out of the state of Alabama, without notifying
Kim. (the only reason they went thru the proper channels
when they went to Texas is because Virgina let it slip to Kim
that they were going to Texas) they have taken numerous
other trips with no notification.
I could go on and on, I do not think there is any rules they
have not broken. How much longer will they be allowed to
get away with this ??????

Linda (Virgina and DJs Nanna)




:confused: :( :mad:
 
Last edited:


ellencee

Senior Member
easy tulip
Send this script to Guiding Light or Young and the Restless. I think you have a five-year story line on your hands; offer to sell the story line to them--oh, Bold and Beautiful might like it better since they keep things in the family, so to speak.

If you want any advice from this site, edit again making it short and to the point, removing everyone's real name and other identifying information.

I'm sorry, I could not read the whole thing to see if you had a legal question or not. If you do, you may want to start with that question when you post again.

EC
 
E

easytulip

Guest
THANK YOU FOR THE ADVICE.
It is really hard to explain this story for it is so complicated. I have edited
my problems... please take the time to read. Thank you. :rolleyes:
 

ellencee

Senior Member
easytulip
I wonder if its in their favor that Christina has family that is an attorney at DHR.
oh, yeah--that's definitely in their favor.

Nowhere in your post do I see mention of an attorney for the parents of the children, just mention of a social worker. It is probably past time for the parents to get an attorney. If they can not afford one, they should apply for legal aid or call the state's attorneys' bar and ask for names of family law attorneys that still have pro bono hours that must be completed this year.

I think it would be a good idea for you to meet with a family law attorney and discuss your questions and concerns. I don't think you have any legal right in this matter, but you do have the right to have a proper understanding of the rules and regulations and to have reasonable expectations and a greater understanding.

My husband and I have had numerous foster children in our care. From those experiences, I can tell you that the handbook is just a guideline and not a set of rules that can not be 'broken' or exceptions made to them. We have had infants and small children who were not allowed contact with any family member while the parents and, or family members completed parenting classes or substance abuse programs or a combination of interventions. Our phone number and address is never given to the foster parents; the social worker is the facilitator in the children's having contact with family members. It's a good thing, too--one mother scared the begeezus out of me in the courthouse one day. If she had had our phone number and address, I feel sure this woman would have done whatever was necessary to take her children and make a good headstart at getting away from the law.

Other than suggesting that the mother and you speak with family law attorneys, I suggest that each of you back away from contacting the foster parents and the children. Neither of you are making yourselves look competent or having the children's best interest at heart. That's what foster care is all about--the children--and giving the parents time to heal and get their acts together sufficiently to have the children returned home to a safe and stable environment.

Best wishes,
EC
 
E

easytulip

Guest
My daughter does have a court appointed attorney. I do understand that the rule book is just a gulde line and every situtation is differnt. My daughter over half finished with her parenting classes, has weekly meetings with her counsler, drugs never was an issue. She is bi-polar and has been taking her meds as she is suppose to. Her undiagnosed mental illness along with her abusive soon to be ex-husband was the reason the children were removed.
I have to point out that my daughter lived in the kinship foster parents RV, parked outside their home for 3 months... never in that time was she allowed to help with the childrens care, even though it was encouraged by the social worker. This is a very unusual case. A new social worker has been assigned to the case, due past problems and not doing her job and not remaining netural. Most of these contact problems came about for my daughter after she moved in with my husband and I. An emergency court hearing has been submitted to the court, due to the kinship foster parents not cooperating with the social worker, in trying to unite my daughter with her children. I am a pediatric nurse and have had the pleasure of forming friendships with many foster parents and do understand that some are better off without their bio-mother but not in this case. I thought the goal of DHR was to reunite families and this is what they are trying to do... I dont know what these foster parents are trying to do .. other than try to take my daughter children (her father and step-mom are the kinship foster parents) There has been plenty of healing time, the children were removed April 25, 03.
 
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ellencee

Senior Member
easytulip
It seems like things are in order and instead of having a real legal issue, you have many concerns of a personal nature. I certainly understand your viewpoint. From what you have said, it does seem the children's paternal grandparents are trying to keep the children or remove the children from their mother and her family and it seems the extended family's relationships have been all but destroyed. It is in the best interest of the children for all concerned family members to focus on healing rifts and moving away from past events.

Peds has always been one of my favorite clinical areas. Kids are the greatest, aren't they? Drop in on the medmal section and lend your expertise to those with medmal concerns!

EC
 
E

easytulip

Guest
Yes kids are the greatest !!
A couple other issues I would like to address :
The first social worker that was in charge of the case left my daughters file
at another clients home, and this person called my daughter and read her
word for word what was in her file.... including my name (I called DHR, it
was a hard thing for me to do, but I had too in the best intrest of my grandbabies) My daughter suspected it was I that called, but she did not know for sure until that point. It took her almost a year to speak to me again.
Confidentially on the part of the social worker was broken. He was removed from the case.
The third social worker on this case was not doing her job at all. She lied to
my daughter and I about a court date. We recieved 2 notices for court. One April 7 and the other April 14. My daughter called the social worker and ask which date was correct. She said April 7... disreguard the 14. So we did, guess what happened that day at court. The bio-father had not been allowed visitation. (due to abuse to my granddaughter) He was granted supervised visitation..... he had not even started any of his classes, and still has not, he has not followed any of the court orders. Someone did not want us at that court hearing, they knew we would fight that decission. When we found out ...... my daughter called her social worker .... her reply. "You dont think the children should see their dad" My daughter went off on her.. the bio-father has not shown any intrest... showed up for any ISP meetings or court dates until the 7th. After writting many letters to congressman, senators, DHR on all levels, Social Workers Board, and many others we have a new social worker. This has been a very tiring case for my family... and we just want to put it all behind us, get those babies back and be a family again. When we back to normal... I am going to check out medmal. Thank you, Linda
 

ellencee

Senior Member
easytulip
I'm glad that your daughter was mature enough to speak to you again and glad that Social Services removed the caseworker who left your file in another client's house--talk about violating HIPAA and a few other laws!

There are social workers who post on this forum and they may chew me to bits on this, but I advise you to stay on top of everything being handled by DSS. It is an organization, or rather a department of the government, that is its own worst enemy and the worst enemy of those it attempts to serve because it is riddled with errors and BS paperwork. I could tell you incident after incident of errors being presented to the court and the judge asking the DSS attorneys and the caseworkers if they had even noticed the errors!

The children's father may not have been in the picture, but DSS has to try and integrate the whole family, including parents who may have been absent, neglectful, abusive, incarcerated, etc. Without an advocate for one of the parents or for the children, I have not seen many parents complete or attempt to complete parenting plans and DSS looks the other way or can't see over the their stacks of paperwork!

Think like a nurse; consider all of the objective and subjective information; set realistic, achievable goals for reinstituting a family relationship that includes both parents, both sets of grandparents, with the children as priority #1. Your being a nurse is likely the best asset in this situation.

Best wishes,
EC
 
E

easytulip

Guest
:) EC.... Thank you so much for the advice. This has been a long hard road for us all especially, for the children. I have been taking notes and keeping up with every visit, phone call etc... since the beginning. I am doing my best to keep on top of things. I spoke with my daughters social worker today. She is really pushing for the kids to be back with their Mom by the end of Sept.With all the letters, emails, and faxes I have sent to numerous local and state depts, I bet I am the topic on the golf course! "Have you gotten mail from that crazy woman in Alabama?" :D I am very proud of my daughter, and I am thankful that we are able to talk things out. She is on the right road, I was really worried about her for a while. Again thank you, and I will take your advice. :) Linda
 

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