how do we explain this to our kids?

The other day we got paternity test results and it turns out that my husband is the father of another child, he knew nothing about. my question is how do we tell our kids about this situation? he and his ex were never married. we just found out about this other child. how can i possible explain this to our two without too much information. they are ages 8 and 4. any kind of info would be greatful.thanks so much stephylou

Are you and your husband going to be a part of the childs life? Ask them how they would feel about having an older sibling. And let them know that there is an older sibling, from someone who your husband dated before you two were married. Be honest and open with them. It's not like your Husband cheated on you, so be honest with them and you will be surprised at what they might say. Also let them know that the child will be a part of their lives from now on and ask their opinions as to how to welcome him/her to your family.

And don't make a big fuss over this child, treat him/her as a part of the family from day one.

It will take a little getting used to, try some counseling for all of you. It does get easier with time. So don't stress out too much, and talk with your hubby about your fears and feelings.

Good Luck,

Try this

YOU DIDN'T SAY WHAT STATE YOU ARE IN;

What does the mother want from him? Is there a father figure in his life aready?

If you do tell your children, I first would find out what the mother wants from your husband ie; relationship, money, father's name on birth certificate, etc.

When you tell your children break it to them in the most honest way you can. Be open to their feelings, and Listen to them.

Take care,

Ukiah

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All that you have read in no way is Legal Advice, it is a matter of opinion to help you in your quest

P.S. When you start telling your children, Start with something like we need to talk to you about something we just found out. And go from there (don't call it a problem or anything like that).

Ukiah


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All that you have read in no way is Legal Advice, it is a matter of opinion to help you in your quest

thanks for the advice all. the mother isnt in the childs life. the grandmother has custody of him. i talked to my daughter and to my surprise she took it very well. she said she always wanted a older brother. she cant wait until she gets to meet him. shes already asking questions when can we meet? when can he come over ect? i was very honest with her and said that a long time ago before your dad and i married he was dating another girl well they broke up and later she found out she was pregnant and didnt tell your dad. and we just found all this out. i told her about the paternity too. i appreciate all the help thanks so much. stephanie tennessee