Son was killed while riding bike

What is the name of your state? Delaware

Hello all. I'm not sure where to start, I will try to be brief ~ On May 25th of this year, our 16 year old son was hit by a car while he was riding his bike ~ he died approx. 12 hours later. Since that time, we have had so many people telling us, "Oh, you need to sue", etc. We really have no desire to sue the woman that hit him because, no matter what we do, it is not going to give us our son back. Anyway, we recently found out that her insurance company(auto) has been making some phone calls to our friends and family asking a lot of questions about...did we know the woman that hit him and did they think we were going to sue. Then, just today, there was a man at the accident site, which happens to be about 50 feet from our home, taking pictures and measurements so my husband walked down the road and asked him what he was doing ~ Not knowing that the accident he was referring to involved us, he told my husband that he was investigating an accident for an insurance company. I can't understand why her insurance company would be investigation because we have not filed any sort of law suit or anything ~ we are just trying to get through this time. I have had several friends tell is that we should contact a lawyer just to be on the safe side and I'm wondering if anyone out there can offer us some advice. I know this is pretty short and somewhat vague in content but I would be happy to answer any questions you may have involving this situation. We just really don't know what to do here so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Diana

I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sure in your time of grief you don't want to think about these things but there are issues you will want or need to address later and it would be best to seek the advise of an attorney now to look after your interests while you are grieving, this will also help manage situations you describe.

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I simply can't imagine your shock and sorrow, and I pray that you are able to pick up the pieces enough to function and to remember the good times with your child.

Having formerly worked for an insurance defense law firm, I can tell you that the insurance company is just protecting itself because it knows that there's a big risk in this incident. They obviously believe that they are exposed to a lawsuit, and one that would bring about heavy damages.

I'm surprised at the phone calls but not at the accident scene investigation; the latter is just meant to preserve evidence.

Consult with an attorney. You don't have to do it right now, but don't wait past the end of the year. The statute of limitations on these things is typically a year, so the lawsuit would have to be filed. **NOTE - I'm a CA not a DE attorney** Attorneys will consult free of charge and will talk through your options with you. Ask around for reputable attorneys first.

Delaware

I want to thank you so much for responding ~ This has been such a terrible time and we really just don't know what to do here. Our life insurance agent was telling us that we should sue because we are entitled to some sort of compensation and that it would not really be the woman we're suing but her car insurance company. He said that is why she pays insurance premiums. We just don't want to hurt anyone. We have talked to the woman several times since the accident and she is going through her own grief ~ her husband has told us that she won't eat, she doesn't talk, and she absolutely refuses to drive again. It is so hard to even think clearly and I appreciate your responses so much.

Well, you would be suing her, because she'd end up paying higher premiums because of it. That's probably appropriate, but I just hate it when people say "you're not suing her, you're suing the insurance company."

You are suing the insurance company and that is why people are required to carry insurance, because most people cannot pay for the damages caused by an accident, most of which do not result in death, but some do. The insurance company is expecting a claim and or a law suit, this is a fact and in no way lessens your pain or brings back your son.

While it is an accident, there are many expenses you have already incurred and more in the future and it is too painful to consider much at this time. In some cases there is no coverage for a death and the grieving family is not only greving the loss of their loved one but sometimes financial devestation. Ask for referrals and try to find an attorney and consult with them as to how to procede and protect your interests while you grieve, this can take a lot of the pressure off you and you don't want the statute of limitations to run.

Communication between the parties while there may be some comfort in knowing how this has impacted both families and that there is sorrow and remorse, doesn't change the facts of what happened or lost potential. If you are in a small town you may run into them frequently and a continual reminder.

Delaware

Her insurance company did pay $5,000 towards the funeral expenses and we paid the remainder. One thing that I did find odd was that her insurance company contacted us saying that we should send them all of the medical bills we received........we didn't receive any bills, however, we did receive a statement from OUR insurance company saying that they had paid over $12,000 in hospital bills. We are so lost at this point. We have been in contact with the family of the lady who hit him and she is going through her own hell. In a strange coincidence, she used to work for the daycare that our son went to when he was little and their daughter was friends with our kids. So, this is not exactly a stranger we are dealing with and we really don't won't to hurt her or her family. I had another person tell me that her insurance company would be contacting us by phone eventually and asking us if we would accept a settlement and that we should not accept anything. Would they still contact us even if we don't file suit?

It is for the very reason that you have conflicting fleelings and so many questions, an attorney in your state can advise you and it is a wise thing to do before you make any more decisions, these can affect the future in ways you may not consider, in your grief or may not know.

Everyone here is trying to make your decision for you, which is misguided. The most important thing is you and your marriage and your family. These incidents can tear all of that apart if you let them.

Lawsuits are relatively dirty business. The answer to every problem isn't, "file a lawsuit", even if the lawsuit is technically meritorious. For some people the lawsuit is a good way to investigate and to get answers; for others it's a painful reminder and a terrible burden, regardless of the outcome. And for you, you have the added concern of a personal relationship with this woman.

You need to weigh carefully what is best for you and your family. I think that a respectable attorney could consult with you without pressure, and you could get him/her to get a quick settlement if that's what you wanted without resorting to litigation that would burden your and your family and the other woman. But that's just one option. I've also encountered clients who don't want to feel like they're "cashing in" on the life or death of a loved one and who don't even want a quick, quiet settlement - they'd rather just put it all behind them. Others decide to use the money to donate to a charity in their loved one's name.

The "right answer" is the one that sits best with you and leaves you and your family in the best possible position overall. Money isn't the end-all, and like you said it won't replace your son.

Again, you don't need to make a decision right at this moment, or this week, but don't delay forever. And on something like this I would definitely include the rest of your family in the discussion.

Peace be with you and your family.

Well said!

I wasn't trying to give advise other than to say that the services of an attorney, just as you suggested, can help them weigh all the options with some objectivity and so they don't feel coerced into doing something they are not comfortable with. I'm also glad that you told them about how difficult a lawsuit can be on a family and relationships. Even so warned, one cannot adequately prepare for the reality, so exploring options in a supportive environment when you are ready, is good advise.

I am no lawyer, but just a regular person. I feel for your loss, that is truly saddening. Take your time to grieve, and then you can think about other options. Sometimes, accidents just happen, and the answer is not necessarily suing. What good would that do? Was the driver even at fault?
Now, I am not trying to defend insurance companies or the driver or anything like that, but sometimes bad things happen to good people, and it takes strength to get through it. I wish you all the best, and I am confident you will do what you feel you should... you sound like decent people.

Deepest sympathy,
Drew

Delaware

From the day this accident has happened, the thought of a suit never crossed our minds ~ In my opinion, there are too many people out there today who are "sue" happy. It all boils down to the money and quite frankly, I could care less about that.......I would take my son back over all the money in the world in a heart beat. We are just so confused about everything ~ all we know is that our son is gone and nothing will ever bring him back and I really don't want to drag this out any more. As a matter of fact, if her insurance company would leave things alone, we would never even think about contacting a lawyer. There are just so many people telling us so many different things and it is all so over-whelming. I guess we will talk to a lawyer, not to sue, but to just be sure that we are clear on everything. I want to thank everyone who responded to my initial question ~ you all have been so helpful and your condolences are so appreciated. If anyone would like to contact me off the board, please feel free to email me at [email protected] ~ Again, thank you to everyone and God Bless!

From a biker

Firstly let me express my condolences for your loss.
To die after a long life is just nature, for a 16 yo boy it is a tragedy for all involved, including all the good he could have done society in a full lifetime.
By society I mean humanity.
Even if you do not care about the money, why not contact the insurance company and ask them if they will make a settlement offer (presuming the woman was at fault).
If you don't care how much it is, take what is offered and donate it to traffic safety programs, drivers education in schools, safer playgrounds, whatever - it is sad that your son died as he did, to neglect any good that can be done with the aftermath of that loss is only going to make it seem more futile and empty when you finally realize that you could have done something in his name to help others and make a better world for others, the very chance he was denied.
Put it to the insurance company that you would sign a waiver of liability if they would make such a donation to such a cause in his name.
Why wouldn't they? This could start a whole new type of settlement!
If they can avoid arguing fault, not have to admit fault, stay out of courts and come off looking like compassionate people that care - it is just good PR for them, and a living memorial to your son.