Pension

I live in Florida. After 22 years of marriage my wife decided she wasn't "happy" and left me for another man. Our 11 year-old twins live with me because she was working long hours and 'can't take care of them as well as you.' Now I find out that she is entitled to almost half my pension. This is adding insult to injury. Is there nothing I can do? Do I really have to pay her for leaving me because she wasn't '"happy"? There seems to be something fundamentally wrong here. Help.

Stumpf

You need to retain the services of an attorney. Florida is a no fault state and she is entitled to a portion of your retirement. Being entitled doesn't mean she will actually get it. That will be determined by a judge. The judge has the right to give her as little or as much as he wants.

You need to get an attorney, file for divorce....if she hasn't already done it. She has left her marriage and her children. No fault or not, that will not look good on her. If you are the one who files it will put her on the defensive and that is exactly where you want her. DO NOT wait around until she files and you end up on the defensive.

There are 2 legal grounds for divorce in Florida. Irreconsilable differences and mental capacity. Sounds to me like she is not dealing with a full deck mentally right now. If you can prove that she has had some sort of mental defficiency for at least 3 years you stand a good chance of her not getting anything.

Count yourself lucky that she has given you the children. Please keep them with you because she does not sound as if she is concerned for their best interest at this time. Good luck and like I said, get an attorney and file before she does.
snodderly

I know each state has different laws, but I don't agree with the "who files first" statement. My ex filed first, and he is the one who was on the defensive side, not me. We were married for 20 yrs and I got half his pension, half his 401K, CS, alimony and sole legally custody of my children. So anything is possible if she knows what she's doing. It is sad that she left because she wasn't happy, but she is entitled to half or part of your pension.

And you are just as entitled to half of hers.

nextwife said:

And you are just as entitled to half of hers.

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Yes, but she is no where near retirement and even then she will probably only have social security. In the meantime I take a bath and still have the 11 year-old twins she left with me. It sucks.