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Unwed teen-and homeless-son out of control

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H

Helpisgood

Guest
Where to start thats the big question... this is a long story, but one that someone out there is surely experiencing.

My oldest boy 21, not raised by me, but we have kept in touch somewhat, has gotten a girl pregnant. She had a boy- very sweet and smart. It seemed at first that my son would stand behind his mistake, but is now out of control in my opinon. His girl friend calls us up all the time, crying and scared. She really fears him. He cheats on her with other girls to the point she is afraid to have relations with him due to the fact she may get some kind of disease. He mentally and mildly physically abuses her.

Some things I have observed about my son:
He lies (when the truth would surely sound better)
He is sleeping with 14-15 yr old girls
He is now selling/using cocaine
He is a heavy drinker
He acts normal in front of me, I guess he wants me to think the best of him
When I try to talk to him, he get very offensive very quickly.

His girl friend and mother of his child:
Is an "A" student
She is 18 years old
She is very smart, except for the fact of getting in this position in the first place.
She loves her baby and tries to do her best
She has had to drop out of school, to take care of the baby.
She is a very pretty girl and popular in school.
She has kept going back to him, she wants the father of the child to be in her life and her childs. Unfortunately he does not.
She has suggested counseling for the both of them, but he completely rejects this idea.

How did these two come together? Well I guess that old say "opposites attract" is very true or at least in this situation.

The problem is that the girls family will not take her in anymore. She constantly keeps going back to my son. He keeps begging her back and then throws her out at will. I now think she has finally seen the light, and really needs help. My son does not help financially. He has given her two days to get out with no money or help in doing so. She is now pretty much homeless. I have contacted a girls home here in my City and state (Texas). We do have an appt. to see if she can stay at the home until she gets on her feet, but I can tell the girl is scared to go or leave I guess I should say. She is scared to stay and scared to leave. I really feel for her, but not much we can do. We have a 14 year old boy at home and cannot take her in, especially with a baby. We can only give her temporary shelter, but lifetime moral support. We love the baby and want to help out as much as we can. We both work and cannot help that much as far as keeping the baby and helping her when she needs it.

The shelter is for girls in her situation, they teach them to care for their children, finish school and how to save to go out on their own.

Any comments or suggestions as to where we should go from here, if the shelter falls through? She needs food for the baby, a job, and to finish high school. A lot for one little girl.

Any help is much appreciated.

I am worried about her, the baby, my son and his future. We tried to keep my son with us when he was small, but he was spoiled and would not abide by house rules, so he begged to live with his grand parents. They adopted him later on.


 


A

Always searching

Guest
x

[This message has been edited by Always searching (edited October 15, 2000).]
 
T

Tigres

Guest
*sigh* Poor thing.

As to the food, get her on WIC. There's no shame in it.

If she can't attend school and she's smart, have her get her GED instead. Then you can help her take CLEP tests and give her a leg up on college too! (CLEP tests give you college credit depending on how well you score - percentile basis. I took 6 tests to receive 30 credits for college, subjects can vary but the basics like math, science, english, social studies, etc. She can also buy or borrow from the library study books on subjects.)

Lend her strength. Tell her how proud you are of her and that you know she is doing the right thing for her son by removing him from that awful situation. After all, if he grows up seeing his father behave that way and his mother accepting it, what are the chances of him turning into a replica of his father?

Make sure she files for sole custody of the boy. Don't do child support till custody is sorted out as he might then fight for custody to prevent child support.

I am glad to hear that she has your support. As to your son, the best thing for him would be a sharp wake up call. Not that it would cure him of all his poor behavior...

Tig

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>
"A woman is a lot like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until she's in hot water."
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
 

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