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ohbratti1
Guest
My friends have been having marital problems for several years now. They've gone through the separations and the extra-marital affairs (on both parts) and the counseling and the reconciliation's. In the last year she re-acquainted herself with an old boyfriend and they started having an affair. He ended up moving out here (California) to be with her. Her husband is in the military and was staying on his ship and sometimes at home, trying to give her the "space" she needed. Three months ago her husband left on deployment. During that time, she moved the "boyfriend" in to her home with her children and then kicked him out two weeks later. She supposedly ended the affair and decided to seek counseling for herself and her marriage. She stated that she wanted to try and work things out. Now it appears that it was all a lie. Her husband came back from deployment and she went to pick him up. As soon as he got to their vehicle, she got out, grabbed her bag that she had hidden in the back, and she walked away. She would not provide him a phone number or any clues as to where she would be. She did state that she would come back for 2 of their 4 kids, in "a couple of months". I was floored when I found out. I'm supposed to be her best friend and I had no idea she had this planned. She's been playing us all for fools. She has always been a very selfish, self-serving Prima Donna. It was something that we openly discussed, but I never thought she could do something like this. She left her 4 children without any warning or concern for their well being. She had brought this hypothetical scenario up a few months ago and I very clearly stated my opinion. She knew that I would not condone nor support anyone (her) that would abandon their kids for their own selfish needs. I had no idea she was seriously considering it. Anyway, she's not with family or friends….she's not even in town. We all believe she has left the state to be with the lover she supposedly broke up with. We suspect that because her 9 year old son told his dad that she was always receiving phone calls from him (caller ID) and that she would send all the kids to their rooms so that she could speak freely. Dad/husband is not surprised. Because of their ongoing problems, I think he's kind of relieved to have a decision made, for better or worse, in regard to their marriage. However, he's very upset and angry that she would do this to their kids. He's no angel, but he does love his kids and wants to provide a sense of security/stability for them….something they haven't had for awhile. I know that it seems kind of strange that I would be writing for advice for him when I'm supposed to be her best friend. Well, like I told her, she made her choice and I've made mine. I let her know that I could not and would not be there for her in this situation. I feel that if I was, I would be condoning her behavior. She chose to leave her kids and I chose to help them. I've known her since 6th grade (over 20 years) and she knows how much I care about her kids. They are innocent victims of her machinations. I feel that she's gone too far. Her husband is going back out on deployment in 2 weeks and is at a loss as to what he's going to do or should do. Can anyone advise on what steps he should take to protect the kids from any further upheaval? I can't see her being allowed to come flouncing in "in a couple of months" and just taking the 2 children of her choice and leaving the other 2 behind. Can you imagine how devastating that would be for them? Please, what should he do?