don't know if in right place, but want info on how to terminate parental rights

What is the name of your state? We live in Illinois the child is now in Missouri.
And my husband wants to terminate parental rights and we need to know how to do this. We have been through alot the last 9 years and both my husband and I are tried of being hurt.

thank you!

And you didn't think to include any relevant information?

How do you expect an answer?

sorry

her mother let us have her then took her away told child he was not her dad, then gave her to us for 2 years and our daughter hated it with us she wanted to be with ehr mother that never saw her then she took her for the summer last year and said she wasn't coming back. They have never went to court for anything- no child support or nothing. So we were fine let her stay cause she was horrible to her father when he got on phone with her and she was like I don't want to live with u ever again. We have never said we didn't want her or chose for her to live with us. We do love her but her mother and now she is making choices. then we get in mail that the mother got all 4 kids taken away in June drugs. My husband didn't go to the hearing, he is done with it he doesn't want her living with us and he wants to terminate is rights. Says that if he doesn't comply with all that is listed it will terminate his rights anyway, goes for the mother and the other childrens fathers. We jsut want to do it first go to court and say he terminates rights and we just need to know how to do this. This has effect all of us my son was very upset one minute he has sister then next she leaves us and we just can't take it anymore. We want it done with.

bettyboop_73 said:

her mother let us have her then took her away told child he was not her dad, then gave her to us for 2 years and our daughter hated it with us she wanted to be with ehr mother that never saw her then she took her for the summer last year and said she wasn't coming back. They have never went to court for anything- no child support or nothing. So we were fine let her stay cause she was horrible to her father when he got on phone with her and she was like I don't want to live with u ever again. We have never said we didn't want her or chose for her to live with us. We do love her but her mother and now she is making choices. then we get in mail that the mother got all 4 kids taken away in June drugs. My husband didn't go to the hearing, he is done with it he doesn't want her living with us and he wants to terminate is rights. Says that if he doesn't comply with all that is listed it will terminate his rights anyway, goes for the mother and the other childrens fathers. We jsut want to do it first go to court and say he terminates rights and we just need to know how to do this. This has effect all of us my son was very upset one minute he has sister then next she leaves us and we just can't take it anymore. We want it done with.

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There a number of issues here futher confused by no formal custody orders.

Since he is presumed to be the father if they were married and the Mom claims that she may not be his daughter, the first thing to do is establish or disprove paternity with a DNA test. Following those results decide a course of action.

Right now there are a lot of hurt feelings and resentment, but you have the best welfare of all the children, yours included to consider.

Just because the mother's behaviors and the child's behaviors were inappropriate doesn't mean that once the child is in a healthier and suportive setting without undue influence there might not be a change. If she is proved by DNA to be his daughter he may want to reconsider just walking away and he may still find that he is responsible until these issues are resolved.

You don't want to throw the baby out with the bath water.

thank you for the advise. And we will see what happens now.

bettyboop_73 said:

her mother let us have her then took her away told child he was not her dad, then gave her to us for 2 years and our daughter hated it with us she wanted to be with ehr mother that never saw her then she took her for the summer last year and said she wasn't coming back. They have never went to court for anything- no child support or nothing. So we were fine let her stay cause she was horrible to her father when he got on phone with her and she was like I don't want to live with u ever again. We have never said we didn't want her or chose for her to live with us. We do love her but her mother and now she is making choices. then we get in mail that the mother got all 4 kids taken away in June drugs. My husband didn't go to the hearing, he is done with it he doesn't want her living with us and he wants to terminate is rights. Says that if he doesn't comply with all that is listed it will terminate his rights anyway, goes for the mother and the other childrens fathers. We jsut want to do it first go to court and say he terminates rights and we just need to know how to do this. This has effect all of us my son was very upset one minute he has sister then next she leaves us and we just can't take it anymore. We want it done with.

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If this was your child, would you just leave the child a ward of the state and walk away?

Has your husband legally established paternity by signing the birth certificate, signing an acknowledgement of paternity or taking a court ordered DNA test? If so, realize that foster care costs money and the state will want to recoup their money from both parents. Dad cannot just terminate his rights.

yes I know this but I can't do anything its his child and he knows how I feel I have had her in my life for 9 years she was only 14mos old, she is my child not legally. And what I want is to have him get custody of her. And her mother is too never see her again. She was busted for drugs! And a horrible mother that tells her daughter oh that is not your dad and then the next time around drop her off with us and don't see her for months at a time. My hands are tied. its up to my husband and I just wanted some advise if this is what he is going to do. I know he is hurting but we all are suffering. Children and the parents all around. I want it to end. it hurt soo bad when she called up and told us that we were mean and that she didn't want to ever see us again! I know it is not her fault it was her mother, she was just acting like her mother.

and sorry yes he is on the birth cert. I dont' care if we pay child support that isn't a issue. I just want some closure I want either/or. Im tired of being pulled this way and that way. I want him to do something (grow-up) and I want her (the mother to grow-up too) She has hurt 4 of her children probably for the last time, unless she straightens up her act!

i think what he was getting at it says that they the foster peeps can terminate his right if he doesn't comply, and he said he will not go through the exams and the testing cause he did nothing wrong. And I know that will not please the judge.