bettyboop_73 said:
her mother let us have her then took her away told child he was not her dad, then gave her to us for 2 years and our daughter hated it with us she wanted to be with ehr mother that never saw her then she took her for the summer last year and said she wasn't coming back. They have never went to court for anything- no child support or nothing. So we were fine let her stay cause she was horrible to her father when he got on phone with her and she was like I don't want to live with u ever again. We have never said we didn't want her or chose for her to live with us. We do love her but her mother and now she is making choices. then we get in mail that the mother got all 4 kids taken away in June drugs. My husband didn't go to the hearing, he is done with it he doesn't want her living with us and he wants to terminate is rights. Says that if he doesn't comply with all that is listed it will terminate his rights anyway, goes for the mother and the other childrens fathers. We jsut want to do it first go to court and say he terminates rights and we just need to know how to do this. This has effect all of us my son was very upset one minute he has sister then next she leaves us and we just can't take it anymore. We want it done with.
There a number of issues here futher confused by no formal custody orders.
Since he is presumed to be the father if they were married and the Mom claims that she may not be his daughter, the first thing to do is establish or disprove paternity with a DNA test. Following those results decide a course of action.
Right now there are a lot of hurt feelings and resentment, but you have the best welfare of all the children, yours included to consider.
Just because the mother's behaviors and the child's behaviors were inappropriate doesn't mean that once the child is in a healthier and suportive setting without undue influence there might not be a change. If she is proved by DNA to be his daughter he may want to reconsider just walking away and he may still find that he is responsible until these issues are resolved.
You don't want to throw the baby out with the bath water.