IAAL - fraudulent papers -

In other posts/responses to posts, I mentioned my feeling that going into court is a crap shoot. I have had this man brought up on 37 violations of standing Orders of Protection and had them dismissed on a technicality. Actually, his then lawyer (now disbarred) lied in court. But because of double jeopardy, I can't get him retried. Yes, I proved to the Department of Professional Regulations that the lawyer willfully, intentionally, and with full knowledge lied in court. But it didn't help my situation. By the time I found out that I could have asked for a mistrial and fought the whole thing, the statue of limitations had run out. I've learned a lot in the 8 years since that little fiasco. But, my son has also grown a lot and I have had him with me all this time. Back then, my only prayer was "please God, just let me keep him until he is old enough to not forget his Mommy". That prayer has been answered, so I'm not really complaining. Our lives in the interim have been relatively normal. I am now remarried, have a nice house, and a very close relationship with my son.

At this point, his next scheduled visitis in a week and a half and I have the option of legally changing/cancelling any visit, any time. Sole custody with no set visitation schedule does have it's advantages. Besides, in every past instance, I was working full time and had a much harder time seeing to my son's security. Now, I am home full time, my son's school is basically aware of the situation and will not release him to anyone but my husband, my mother or myself. Yes, I drive him back and forth everyday. When not at school, he is not out of my sight. Literally. I also have the good fortune of living in a VERY tight knit little neighborhood, on a dead end street, backed up to a corn field that is patrolled by 2 Rottweillers (organic farmer had problems with coyotes and rabbits)surrounded by a 6 foot barbed wire topped fence. And if things do get a little too hairy, my son and I take a quick little impromptu vacation. Yet, I am fully aware that if he really wants to take him, there will be nothing I can do. He will have to pry him out of my cold, dead hands, but even that won't be a deterrant.

All of the above is the real reason I have been so hesitant to bring my ex back into court for child support. (my son just informed me of this Icelandic wrinkle this past weekend, though he now says he saw the papers more than a month ago. obviously, he is being torn, and is worried about 'loyalty'. I could hang this man for the mind games he is playing on our child) At this point, I am VERY glad I have not filed on him in the past couple of weeks that I have been mulling this over. I could have been majorly blind-sided. An increase in child support wouldn't be worth the risk if he decided to fight. He could ask for, and get, regularly scheduled visits which would greatly hinder my ability to protect my son if and when I need to. But a legal victory for me might just be the incentive for him to finally, completely, turn his back and walk away. T

My hope is that I will be able to verify and prove this scenario. That it will be a felony and that he will go to prison. Then I'll be asking about how one goes about getting child support out of the estate of a man currently serving time. Or how to go about terminating the parental rights of a convicted abductor.

Sadly, as much as a relief as it would be for me, it would be a true tragedy for my son. I still maintain that no matter what, we can never bad mouth the other parent. We MUST do all we can to maintain our child's relative innocence and their relationship to the other parent. Soon enough, they will grow up and understand the situation all too well. But they have to be allowed to find those understandings on their own, when they are old enough to accept them in all their bald faced ugliness.

I have told my son since he was in diapers that his Dad loves him very much, but he is just not very good at sharing. I've told him that his Dad just wants to keep what he loves most in the world all to himself, and that it was perfectly understandable since he is such a wonderful, special, unique, gloriously loveable kid. And just like I tell my son that he has to be fair and share, I will, when I have to, make his Dad share too.

None of that is a lie, just 'spin'. My son is already old enough to understand that Mom is just trying to protect him. Just 2 short weeks ago, while shopping for a card for a friend, he picked up one with the saying '..if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...'. He suggested, in all seriousness, that we buy it and give it to his Dad, since his Dad doesn't really understand what love is all about. Nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for the heart break of that moment. On top of that, this wise little soul caught me trying to fight off tears and tried to comfort me with "Mom, it's all right. I know how he is. It isn't your fault." I couldn't even choke out that what was breaking my heart was that my little boy understood this, this thing that no child should be able to recognize or understand. I share this very personal scene only so that other parents know that the kids do figure it out, and all too soon.

And so I maintain that we must, MUST, always do what is in the best interest of the child. No matter how it turns our lives inside out, no matter what the other parent is doing. You see, I am speaking from experience, not just a lofty, moralistic, untested viewpoint. And I really do apologize for sounding preachy to even my own ears.

[This message has been edited by Illinois Parent (edited September 27, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by Illinois Parent (edited September 27, 2000).]

x

[This message has been edited by I AM ALWAYS LIABLE (edited October 13, 2000).]

To IAAL

Thank you for you response. Yes, I am aware that abduction is a felony, and a federal one at that. The penalty is 7 years, in addition to any other laws that are broken. But, is simply getting the documents, i.e., birth certificate a crime?

Does the child in question currently have a passport ??

Take a look at this thread ... I remember it from some time ago and has some good information from USDeeper and our resident rose of this board, 'Always Searching'.
http://bbs.freeadvice.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/003192.html



------------------
Psst... I do not work for Macdonald’s or Burger King, and even if I did, I would not tell you. For sloppy bread, tired tomatoes, frozen onions, watered down mayonnaise and imitation meat, please find a drive through window with a person who openly admits they make that stuff.

My advice above is equal to the advice they would give if you asked that person a legal question.

x

[This message has been edited by Always searching (edited October 14, 2000).]

Laugh ? I nearly fell off my chair.. AS: I read your post before the insertion of a paragraph



[This message has been edited by LegalBeagle (edited September 27, 2000).]

Legal, I did it just for you! You caught me dammit.!

To LegalBeagle

Actually, my son's US passport has expired and I have put a stop on issueing another. As of today, I should have an answer to my enquiry of whether or not that stop has held, i.e.,if another, replacement or duplicate has been issued.

I really don't think this man would do that, only because it is too obvious and easy to catch.

To Always Searching

Thank you for you kind words of support and encouragement. I wish the best for you, your daughter and your grand-babies.

My mother has told me many times over the past 9 years how hard all this has been for her as the grandmother. She feels COMPLETELY
helpless. Of course, I don't tell her much of what is actually going on, because while it might lessen my load, it will only burden and frighten her. But I have at this for a long time and am really kind of used to living with a, er, 'heightened sense of security'???

I do agree with you that these boards are a God send. Anonymously, we can share pretty personal and painful details, and give and receive help in the otherwise purely cathartic process. But there are other avenues of help, of which you are probably aware.

Have you contacted the International Center for Missing and Exploited Children? They are associated/affiliated with the National Center. They are a great resource. Also, in Texas, there is a group called the Heidi Search Center in Universal City. The last contact I had with them was several years ago, but they sort of 'specialize' in Mexico, Central and South America. They are generally involved in the return of abducted children, but they may be a good, more local contact. The phone number I have for them is 210 659 0338. Both of the above are non-profit organizations and charge ONLY if they are actively involved in a recovery, and ONLY the actual expenses incurred.

If nothing else, they may have contacts for lawyers who are more 'specialized', if you can afford them (I can't either) as well as contacts with other families who are facing the same situation. Misery shared with those who truly understand is a blessing.

Again, thank you for you kind words, and good luck to you to. I got my prayer answered and I hope you get yours, too. But please, do yourself,your daughter and the grandkids a favor. Find a way - CHOOSE - not to be consumed by the anger and hate. Anger, hate and fear are mind killers. We CANNOT think, and act if and when we need to if we are consumed by these emotions. Don't get me wrong, my blood boils if I let myself dwell on the wrongness of it all for even a heartbeat. I HATE this man more than I thought I was capable of hating anyone or anything. I joke that I could stare the Devil himself down, I have so much hate and anger. BUT. I no longer let that be the definition of my life. I realized that I was alive, but certainly not living. I realized that if my son WERE taken from me, the memories I wanted him to have were of peace and happiness. I CHOSE to let life go on. I know it is easier said than done, but you can and you MUST.

Good luck to you and yours.


[This message has been edited by Illinois Parent (edited September 27, 2000).]

- Rereading my own posts, I've just realized how many times I've used the term 'must'. I sound like I am describing an elephant in mating season! MUST MUST MUST
So much for eloquence.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Illinois Parent:
- Rereading my own posts, I've just realized how many times I've used the term 'must'. I sound like I am describing an elephant in mating season! MUST MUST MUST
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I have read this a few times and you have lost me.. An elephant in mating season ??? I think all this strain is effecting you

You are funny as hell! Elephants mating. What a hoot! I will call the number you suggested. It is in San Antonio.

To LegalBeagle -

a dog is referred to as being in 'heat'
an elephant is referred to as being in 'must'

you're probably right about the stress warping me

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Illinois Parent:
a dog is referred to as being in 'heat'
an elephant is referred to as being in 'must'
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I am not even going to ask how you know this.. Although I know there have been many times when I 'must' mate so I guess it makes sence..