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ernsmom

Guest
What is the name of your state?Kansas

I have found your message boards through the search engines and have read the posted forums. I seem to have a different question and need advice as to handle my situation. All your questions seem to relate to parents of daughters and their children. Mine is the opposite. My 19 yr old son is involved with a gal who has one 3yr old daughter already. She is now pg, with we think my sons child ,now. She was and still is very active sexually (many partners) and now I find out she has been taken Meth 1 -2 times a month. I beleive she is still taking Meth this month, (as to I have witnessed her behaivor and feel she is still on the drug) She is 3 months along in her pregnancy. I know when this baby is born we can and will get a paternity test, but what I am needing help on is mine or my son's right to this child The way she treats her 1st child is terrible and I can not see my grandchild growing up that way. This gal is now 21, has left her 1st child in a car strapped in a car steat while in a house having sex with a guy. Has taken her 1st child with her to parties. Has been on (what she has said to my son) Meth because it helps her deal with work and rasing this 3 yr old. I can go on and on about her and her problems but you all may not want to know it all now. lol Bottom line is she is not a good mother to Taylor(her 1st child) and I am also looking in on turning her in to Social Services too.
I am so angry now at her for putting this unborn child at risk with her selfish behavior.
If this child in my son's baby do I or my son have any rights for custody???? I do feel that it may be his and will proceed for now as if it is his. They are not married, and as for the moment not a couple.
Help!!!!
Karen (ernsmom)
 


I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
ernsmom said:
What is the name of your state?Kansas

I have found your message boards through the search engines and have read the posted forums. I seem to have a different question and need advice as to handle my situation. All your questions seem to relate to parents of daughters and their children. Mine is the opposite. My 19 yr old son is involved with a gal who has one 3yr old daughter already. She is now pg, with we think my sons child ,now. She was and still is very active sexually (many partners) and now I find out she has been taken Meth 1 -2 times a month. I beleive she is still taking Meth this month, (as to I have witnessed her behaivor and feel she is still on the drug) She is 3 months along in her pregnancy. I know when this baby is born we can and will get a paternity test, but what I am needing help on is mine or my son's right to this child The way she treats her 1st child is terrible and I can not see my grandchild growing up that way. This gal is now 21, has left her 1st child in a car strapped in a car steat while in a house having sex with a guy. Has taken her 1st child with her to parties. Has been on (what she has said to my son) Meth because it helps her deal with work and rasing this 3 yr old. I can go on and on about her and her problems but you all may not want to know it all now. lol Bottom line is she is not a good mother to Taylor(her 1st child) and I am also looking in on turning her in to Social Services too.
I am so angry now at her for putting this unborn child at risk with her selfish behavior.
If this child in my son's baby do I or my son have any rights for custody???? I do feel that it may be his and will proceed for now as if it is his. They are not married, and as for the moment not a couple.
Help!!!!
Karen (ernsmom)


My response:

I hope you don't mind some constructive criticism, but your facts don't say much for your son, and how you brought him up - - does it?

Right now, all you can do is report her behavior to Social Services and see if they want to take any action - - it's doubtful that they will at this point, but there's no harm in asking.

Your son's rights, if any, begin at the time of a "live" birth. Until then, he can do nothing.

IAAL
 
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ernsmom

Guest
No my facts may not have ,, but my son has been brought up in a well rounded home... and we are still trying to figure out why even a gal like this intrests him. He is a good kid and looks to a future with a good job and a family. that is his dream for himself. He does not take drugs,, he does drink thou. They have broken up in the past because he will not do drugs with her.(this is a comment she has made to friends of the family) So you are not over stepping in your question. I wish I could see the connection to her except that maybe he does want to give her 3yr old a good life. and he wanted them to be a family.
My son has gotten himself where he is at right now and he will have to deal with it when the time comes. that is life! I just wanted to know what his rights were and what mine may be as a Grandparent.

Karen
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Until the child is born and his paternity is proven, he has no rights. Even then, you have no inherent rights.
 
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cyborg50

Guest
My wife and I have a similar situation in Louisiana. My son had a child with a less than perfect mother. The first thing you need to do is establish paternity. In Louisiana, this only required both parents signing an acknowledgment of paternity. We then took the mother to court and sued for custody. I say we but it was all done in my sons name. We were given joint custody with the mother as primary custodian and my son was given visitation rights extended to to us, the grandparents. This meant that if for any reason the father could not meet the visitation priviledge, we the grandparents had the right to pick up the child and visit wiht him. We took advantage of every opportunity offered up by the judgement and about the third month into it, the mother failed to pick up the child after a Wednesday visitation. She called and said she wasn't able to pick him up and would we be able to keep him till the weekend? That was five years ago and we have had him ever since. We took her back to court and my son was appointed primary custodial parent and the mother was given visitation rights. Everything was fine and we laid low for five years content with the way things were. The mother had very little contact with the child and he was living with us in a safe and happy home. Then my son was arrested, the mother decided she wanted to be a good mother again, and we the grandparents had no rights again. She came with the law to our house, ripped him out of his happy home and took him to her house and it took us four days to get the paperwork necessary to get temporary custody and bring him home. We are scheduled to go back to court this month trying as grandparents to gain permanent custody which we know is going to be an uphill battle but we believe we have a good shot. You just have to keep the faith and do everything you can to accomplish your goal. Search the internet for your states laws for anything that will help you in your quest. We are currently putting things in place to terminate the mothers parental rights and put her on the defensive forever. We don't want to deprive our grandson of the right to know his mother, we just don't want to live in fear of her being able to take him from us out of meanness. She doisn't want him and never has, she just uses him to play her games. We just hope the court can see this and do the right thing. Good luck with your quest.
 

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