Need advice in PA

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania
Would like to know if we could get court ordered visitation AGAIN. We first had it when my son was sent to Iraq. He is now out of military but lives on opposite end of the country. While he was in the military we were given one week a month visitation by the courts. This lasted about a year. When my son got out of military, he still wanted us to continue with our visits we had with his son for many reasons. But the courts drew up a new visitation plan that only gives my son 3 six week periods in the year for him to see his son and all of our visitation was taken away. We were told we can still see my grandson but it will have to come off of my sons time that he has with his child. He was never married to the mother and we live 5 hours drive from her. If we file for court ordered visitation, will we be able to file in our home town or do we have to file in the town the baby lives in where the original papers were filed? What are our chances of winning and continueing our visits? The child loves to stay with us and we have totally documented the times he has stayed with photo's and video. We miss him so much but we don't want to take the time away from him being with his father either. He spends so much time with babysitters at his house and we just want to continue his visitations with us. Please advise. Thanks.

sosad4dad said:

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania
Would like to know if we could get court ordered visitation AGAIN. We first had it when my son was sent to Iraq. He is now out of military but lives on opposite end of the country. While he was in the military we were given one week a month visitation by the courts. This lasted about a year. When my son got out of military, he still wanted us to continue with our visits we had with his son for many reasons. But the courts drew up a new visitation plan that only gives my son 3 six week periods in the year for him to see his son and all of our visitation was taken away. We were told we can still see my grandson but it will have to come off of my sons time that he has with his child. He was never married to the mother and we live 5 hours drive from her. If we file for court ordered visitation, will we be able to file in our home town or do we have to file in the town the baby lives in where the original papers were filed? What are our chances of winning and continueing our visits? The child loves to stay with us and we have totally documented the times he has stayed with photo's and video. We miss him so much but we don't want to take the time away from him being with his father either. He spends so much time with babysitters at his house and we just want to continue his visitations with us. Please advise. Thanks.

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If the court has already ruled that any visitation for you has to come out of the father's time, then that is what has to be done. You are unlikely to get a different decision now. Extended family is expected to visit during their son/daughter's time. If you did file, you would have to do it in the county where the child lives.

If that is the case, that our time must come off the fathers time, since he plans to appeal the ruling what would his chances of being granted more time so that we would be able to have more time from his court ordered time. The laws just seem so unfair to the father. The mother has no problem with us seeing the child at all, so she says, she just wants it to come off of the fathers time.

What are his grounds for appeal? Not liking the ruling won't cut it - it has to be an error in the application of the law.

Could Dad come to you for a week with the child? Could you go out to Dad's for a week?

I believe he is appealing the times that he gets the child because they are set up in a way that makes it a hardship on everyone, and even when the child reaches school age everything will have to be redone again. My sons wife is a school teacher and therefore has the summer months off and is able and very much willing to take care of the child when the father is at work. The times they have given him for his visitation are completely during school months and will make it very difficult for them all. He will have to continue to pay full child support to the mother while the child is in his care, and also has to pay all the travel expenses which will amount to over $3000 a year. To be given more time all at once and using summer and alternating holiday times would make it cheaper and easier for them. As for us going to see my grandson at his fathers house, would cost us a fortune also vs. going on a 5 hour drive or meeting half way like we were doing for a year. For the father to spend time here with his son, he would have to take off time from work and therefore, would not have the money to be flying his son back and forth and paying the child support. He just started his job after getting out of the military and does not have vacation time yet. As for reasons why the father would like us to maintain our visits regularly there are questions on the living arrangements the child lives under. I have called CYS on the mother for when I found out she was giving him unauthorized medication and was telling me to give it to him also when he was in our care. Not to mention her constant smoking in his presents while in their home and in the car. We just want to make sure on a regular basis the child is doing good and without our visits, it will be next to impossible to know. I also found out the the court papers were through the recommendation of the special masters and have not been signed by the judge yet so he has a right to appeal the special masters decision before the papers become final.

I'm not sure he's got much to go on, to be honest. Since he's no longer in the military, he's free to live where he likes - that he chose to live such a distance from the kid should make him liable for transportation costs.

Did he have an attorney representing him? How old is the child? Given the apparent distance, a weekend a month plus alternating holidays and summer would be reasonable. But he'll need to make some compelling arguments.

If you were to file, it would have to be where the child lives. But I wouldn't put much hope in it.

yes he had an attorney there that we paid for, not court appointed that came unprepared for the hearing. He actually looked at my son and husband just before going in for the hearing and said, "so why are we here?" My grandson is 2 1/2 years old and loves every minute he has stayed with us. When we would take him back, he has never gotten excited and grabbed for his mother. The mother also has a live in girlfriend that I believe confuses the child on who the mother really is. We do question the living arrangements of these two also, but have no proof other than medical records that the doctor has written in as this person being the "S-O", girlfriend, and companion of the mother. Most often when giving him back, he would reached back for us or ran back to our car. What sort of argument in your opinion would be the best way for my son to try to get more times that work in his favor?

Not many, to be honest. More frequent visits are best with a child that age - which means either money out the wazoo for transportation or living closer. The mother's sexuality isn't likely to be an issue even if he COULD prove that she's a lesbian.

My best suggestion would be for him to move his butt closer to his kid.

sosad4dad said:

yes he had an attorney there that we paid for, not court appointed that came unprepared for the hearing. He actually looked at my son and husband just before going in for the hearing and said, "so why are we here?" My grandson is 2 1/2 years old and loves every minute he has stayed with us. When we would take him back, he has never gotten excited and grabbed for his mother. The mother also has a live in girlfriend that I believe confuses the child on who the mother really is. We do question the living arrangements of these two also, but have no proof other than medical records that the doctor has written in as this person being the "S-O", girlfriend, and companion of the mother. Most often when giving him back, he would reached back for us or ran back to our car. What sort of argument in your opinion would be the best way for my son to try to get more times that work in his favor?

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Your son chose to live that far away from his child, AND he got three 6 week periods and that is a VERY generous amount of time with the child. I am actually very surprized that he got that much time considering that he had been away from the child for a year, PLUS chose to live on the other side of the country. He should honestly be greatful for that. Its very possible that the judge gave him that much time in order to facilitate him sharing it with you.

That is 18 weeks per year and is considerably more than most parents get on a long distance schedule. That also allows your son plenty of options to give you time with the child as well. I agree that they are going to end up back in court as soon as school starts, but unless they had stuck to a schedule that was equivalent to a school calendar, that was inevitable.

Summer is 10-12 weeks long depending on the school calendar. There is Spring Break and 2 weeks at Christmas. Once school starts the most your son can hope for is about 12 weeks per year.

Honestly, you truly have no hope of getting separate visitation of your own. Not when your son has such a generous schedule.