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In a pickle

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K

katnurse65

Guest
What is the name of your state?DE
I have written before; I'll try again. Since my grandson and daughter have moved in with her boyfriend, he has had 3 unexplained bruises and now a broken arm. He will be 3 in a couple weeks. When he went to the ER, they told the MD they didn't know how it happened. When the arm was set the next week, they and my grandson said he fell off a trampoline. DFS investigated and told me today they are closing the case as unfounded. The worker said my only recourse is to go to family court to request guardianship. How likely is that? Also, when they visited me yesterday, I noticed an orange-sized bruise on my daughter's upper arm - I did not comment. Is there anything legally I can do if she doesn't admit the need for help? I am trying to just be there, but I truly fear for these 2 (I am NOT trying to be domineering), as this guy keeps a gun in the house. Is there any such thing as grandparents' rights in DE? If necessary, I will contact a lawyer, but I'm hoping to get some advice first on which way to go. Again, I'm not trying to take over, just maintain safety. Please help. Thanks. Kathy
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Your problem is - you have no proof that either of them are being abused. People DO get bruised - adults and children. Three yo's DO break bones. I come up with bruises and haven't a clue where they came from - I really don't take note of every time I bump into something. When my kids were that age, they were covered in bruises from the hard job of being kids. Not from abuse.

Unless you can prove abuse, or your daughter is willing to admit she's (and/or the child) being abused and needs help - there's really very little you can do.
 

cmorris

Member
Where are those unexplained bruises?

Kids do get unexplained bruises. My son gets them all the time. They also break bones--I broke my collar bone when I was three from playing with my brother, not abuse.

If the bruises are on the legs or arms, they are likely not abuse. However, if they are on the rear, back, or stomach it may be abuse. If the bruises could be abuse, it would be near impossible to prove abuse. If you seriously think it's abuse, keep notes/pictures of the marks.
 
K

katnurse65

Guest
Thank you for understanding what I am getting at. Two of the bruises were on the backside - one covered his whole backside "fell down the steps." The third was on his jaw. I am a nurse, and I used to work in pediatrics, so I KNOW kids get bruises. I also know, as you stated, where the most likely places are for these bruises. As far as the arm fracture goes, the point that DFS missed was that when he was taken to the ER, no one seemed to know how the fracture happened. When he went to the children's hospital to have it set, it was suddenly "he fell off the trampoline". I could even buy this story except for a couple of points. My daughter told me the day before the ER visit that he had been complaining for DAYS of arm pain; they maintain that the fall from the trampoline happened the night before the ER visit. Also, when I first asked my grandson how it happened, he kept saying he didn't know. The night I took emergency custody of him, I asked him again how he hurt it and he clearly said "I fell off the trampoline at Nana's house." No one seemed to think that was unusual. Add to that the fact that his behavior in daycare is suddenly bad, he is suddenly hitting his mother, and when she picks him up from seeing me, he screams bloody murder. Thank you for listening. My main question still is, though, are there grandparents' rights in DE? I don't think there is enough evidence for me to pursue guardianship, and if I try and there are no rights for grandparents, I will never see him again. But I have started documenting everything with a time line, just in case it ever comes to that. I will contact a lawyer if I need one. Kathy
 

cmorris

Member
With respect to custody, while either parent is alive, there is typically a preference that custody of a child be with the parent. In the event of the death of one of the parents, the other surviving parent ordinarily has a preference in law for the custody of a child. When both parents are dead, ordinarily custody is preferred to go to a blood relative, providing a grandparent with a viable opportunity to show the court that it is better for the child to be in his/her custody as opposed to other blood relatives. Courts will consider the age, health, and financial ability of the grandparent(s) to support and care for a child.
Source: http://family-law.freeadvice.com/child_custody/grandparents_custody_grandchildren.htm

I am assuming--I am not an attorney--that abuse could be substituted for death. However, the problem is proving the abuse (if occuring). If it is proven in the future, you will have to "compete" with other relatives. As far as grandparent rights are concerned:

Grandparent Issues: Delaware

Grandparent Rights to Visitation: Best interest of the child. Title 13, Section 728 (13 D.C.A. §728).

When Adoption Occurs: Adoption terminates all rights.

Child Custody Statutes: Best interests of the child considering: (1) wishes of the parents and the child, (2) interaction and interrelationship of child with parents, siblings, and other significant persons; (3) child's adjustment to home, school and community; (4) mental and physical health of all persons involved. D.C.A. 13 §721. Must submit affidavit that Petitioner has been advised of the following children's rights: "(1) the right to a continuing relationship with both parents; (2) the right to be treated as an important human being, with unique feelings, ideas, and desires; (3) the right to continuing care and guidance from both parents; (4) the right to know and appreciate what is good in each parent without one parent degrading the other; (5) the right to express love, affection, and respect for each parent without having to stifle that love because of disapproval by the other parent; (6) the right to know that the parents'decision to divorce was not the responsibility of the child; (7) the right not to be a source of argument between the parents; (8) the right to honest answers to questions about the changing family relationships; (9) the right to be able to experience regular and consistent contact with both parents and the right to know the reason for any cancellation of time or change of plans; and (10) the right to have a relaxed, secure relationship with both parents without being placed in a position to manipulate one parent against the other." See 13 D.C.A. §701 and13 D.C.A. §721 et seq.

Parents May Choose: Yes
Source: http://www.divorcesource.com/info/grandparents/states/delaware.shtml

Hope this helps.
 

ellencee

Senior Member
katnurse65
You know what you need to do: Get a lawyer and get this situation brought to the attention of the court. Go after custody, immediate, temporary custody of your grandchild.

Write a diary of events, dates and locations of bruises and explanations for the bruises and the broken arm. Next time you see bruises on the grandchild, take photographs and use something to document the date, like taking the photo in front of the TV guide channel on TV so the date shows or put that day's newspaper in the photo.

Your instincts, both as a mother and as a nurse, are telling you to act now; so do it.

EC
 

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