14 and 19 year old

What is the name of your state? Illinois

My name is Michelle and i am 14 years old. I have a close friend that is 19 years old. We really want to have a relationship. Relationships with a 14 and 19 year old are against the law i understand, but we have been waiting almost a year now. Its very hard for us to have a relationship even just talking and hanging out. We know everything about each other and we talk everyday well almost everyday. We havent been sexual yet, we've kinda just been playing it cool for now. He said he would wait but its hard for us not to do things like that. If you are a human being then u know what i mean when i say its hard not to have sex. lol But anyway, he said he would wait for me and blah, blah, blah. Is there anything we can do that might help the relationship stay strong for the time being? Anything that wouldnt break the law? I know that if we both wait he'll respect me a lot more and it will a really strong bond between us. But anything for right now?

Your help has been greatly appreciated,

Michelle

CutiePie96 said:

What is the name of your state? Illinois

My name is Michelle and i am 14 years old. I have a close friend that is 19 years old. We really want to have a relationship. Relationships with a 14 and 19 year old are against the law i understand, but we have been waiting almost a year now. Its very hard for us to have a relationship even just talking and hanging out. We know everything about each other and we talk everyday well almost everyday. We havent been sexual yet, we've kinda just been playing it cool for now. He said he would wait but its hard for us not to do things like that. If you are a human being then u know what i mean when i say its hard not to have sex. lol But anyway, he said he would wait for me and blah, blah, blah. Is there anything we can do that might help the relationship stay strong for the time being?

**Yes, grow up.

Anything that wouldnt break the law?

**Yes, grow up.

I know that if we both wait he'll respect me a lot more and it will a really strong bond between us. But anything for right now?

**Yes, grow up.

Your help has been greatly appreciated,

Michelle

Click to expand...

**Good, now grow up!

Michelle,
Thank you for writing use and asking about your situation. Even though you and your friend have not had sexual contact you are talking about it and with out a lot of support it may be difficult to avoid it and the consequences.

First of all, I suggest you and your friend discuss your friendship with your parents, if they don't approve you will have no end of problems even if you do not have sexual contact there are a number of other potential charges, likewise if your hide your relationship, that will be sure to evoke your parent's concern and disapproval, so it is in both of your interests if you are so close to be honest with your parents.

Trying to practice abstinence is difficult without a support system especially once you are already anticipating a sexual relationship.

In Illinois there is an organization called "Project Reality"
Here are two links, you can find others from there the first has beauty pagent winners the second essays by your peers, take time to read these and look into making a commitment along with your friend to abstinence until your are an adult. Take Care:
Welcome to Project Reality--Leaders In Abstinence-Centered ... The following young women were participants in Project Reality's "Power of Abstinence" Celebration on January 12, 2002 and "Young Voices of a New Millennium ...
http://www.projectreality.org/abannerad.html

ClubAC.com ... Illinois Teens Honored for "Speaking Out" About Abstinence Project Reality Announces Winners of the "Teens Speak Out" Essay Contest. ... http://www.clubac.com/abstinence/default.asp?DocumentID=324

My response:

Oh, please!

You're not going to wait, and there's nothing anyone here who can say or do anything to you. Just screw the guy.

IAAL

I'm just going to go and bang my head against a wall for a while.

A 19 yo adult is interested in a child for one reason only. And it ain't sex. It's control. He isn't mature enough to have a real relationship with a WOMAN his age, so he's looking for a little girl who will think he's the bee's knees and he can control. Problem is, when that little girl grows up into a woman, she's not gonna be so keen on his control and that's when the trouble starts. 'Cause the only way he can keep that control is with his fists.

But you don't want to hear that.

Banging my head right alongside you there, stealth.

Michelle, I know you don't believe me now when I say this. Ten or fifteen years from now you'll know I was right. I know you don 't believe that either.

There is something very, very wrong with a 19 year old who wants to be with a 14 year old. I don't care how mature you are or what a wonderful guy you think he is; if he were not terribly, terribly immature he would want to be with someone his own age.

If you really care about this person, the very best thing you can possibly do for him is find someone your own age and allow him to do the same.

If what you feel for each other is real, it'll still be there when you've both had some time to grow up. If it isn't real, it would be a HORRIBLE mistake for you to be with him now.

stealth2 said:

I'm just going to go and bang my head against a wall for a while.

A 19 yo adult is interested in a child for one reason only. And it ain't sex. It's control. He isn't mature enough to have a real relationship with a WOMAN his age, so he's looking for a little girl who will think he's the bee's knees and he can control. Problem is, when that little girl grows up into a woman, she's not gonna be so keen on his control and that's when the trouble starts. 'Cause the only way he can keep that control is with his fists.

But you don't want to hear that.

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Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exactly. A SECURE man is not interested in dating a child. Grow up, learn how to take care of yourself FIRST before doing anything else. That way you will NEVER be under anyones control and will have the confidence and resources to walk away from any bad situation.

And confident, capable woman are not the woman that control freaks and abusers are generally interested in.

If you are meant to be, you'll still be together in a few years when you're legal. You are to young for sex(no matter how much you think you need it) and no matter how willing you are to have sex, he can still go down for statutory rape.