• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Deadbeat Dad: Now wants to be grandpa.

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

F

frustratedma&pa

Guest
What is the name of your state? Wisconsin

Thanks ahead for any comments & suggestions!! My father in law had very little interest in being a father as my husband and his siblings grew up (divorced my mother in law when my husband was young). Now our daughter is born and he comes out of the wood work. My husband has no relationship with him, but recently we found out he is telling my husbands siblings he is going to file for visitation. My father in law was invited to see our daughter shortly after she was born (she is now 14mos) he was 3 hours late and smelled of booze. My husband is very angry. The father in law has not mentioned anything to us about this filing, and as far as we know has not retained any legal cnsl. Anyone have a similar situation in Wisconsin (Milwaukee County) Are there laws favoring the grandparents wanting visitation like this. Like I said we're not to conserned: we are happily married and provide a great life for our daughter and ourselves. One last thing: we have been thinking of writing him a letter and asking him to leave us alone in a very nice and tasteful way. Thanks again for any comments.
 
Last edited:


LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
frustratedma&pa said:
What is the name of your state? Wisconsin

Thanks ahead for any comments & suggestions!! My father in law had very little interest in being a father as my husband and his siblings grew up (divorced my mother in law when my husband was young). Now our daughter is born and he comes out of the wood work. My husband has no relationship with him, but recently we found out he is telling my husbands siblings he is going to file for visitation. My father in law was invited to see our daughter shortly after she was born (she is now 14mos) he was 3 hours late and smelled of booze. My husband is very angry. The father in law has not mentioned anything to us about this filing, and as far as we know has not retained any legal cnsl. Anyone have a similar situation in Wisconsin (Milwaukee County) Are there laws favoring the grandparents wanting visitation like this. Like I said we're not to conserned: we are happily married and provide a great life for our daughter and ourselves. One last thing: we have been thinking of writing him a letter and asking him to leave us alone in a very nice and tasteful way. Thanks again for any comments.
Click to expand...
Unfortunately WI is one of the states that does give standing to a grandparent to sue for visitation when the family is intact. WI also gives standing to a grandparent who has merely "attempted" a relationship, rather than actually having a previous relationship with the child.

Also unfortunately WI is a state where the case law has not closely followed the standard set by the United States Supreme Court in Troxel vs Granville. The most recent case law is from 2002 and isn't particularly beneficial to parents.

I would recommend that you NOT write him a letter. If he isn't just spouting off and he does intend to file...at this point he has NOT attempted to have a relationship with the child and you have not specifically denied him. That is strategically to your advantage. It would be better if you just ignored him.

I am not saying that he would win. Grandparents are not winning nearly as often now as they did before Troxel. However he does appear to have standing to sue.
 
R

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
Ldij gave you some good advice.

Just because a person made mistakes when they were young doesn't mean that they don't have regrets or mellow as they age. Certainly some boundaries are needed for visits, such as no alcohol, or driving about and of course that would mean you don't tell him he can drink then serve wine at dinner. Visits with family around while the baby is small, because he isn't going to know what to do anyway unless he has had other responsibility in the mean time. That may mean considering grandmother if she isn't comfortable with the situation. Allow him to see the child he will either rise up to the occasion or he will fall away from it. It is possible there could be some healing for all the lost years. But if you keep him from it he will want it all the more, the same things happens with children. If he takes you to court for visitation it will cost him money and you also.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top