Need to kick out 17 YO stepson. Death threats! SC

South Carolina
My 17 YO stepson has been in trouble with the juvenile system for about 3-4 years prior to this. He has been involved in joyriding, shoplifting, possession of paraphenalia. He has never had to "pay" for any of this because his father (my new husband) has always "pulled strings" and gotten him out of these messes. One mess he wasn't able to get him out of is the fact that he has missed 2 1/2 years of school living "under the stairs" smoking pot and turning into a teenage alcoholic. He was kicked out of school at 13 for threatening to kill a teacher. 4 other children heard this and turned him in, he subsequently failed a lie detector test and was kicked out of the public school district.

It took his parents divorcing and his dad gaining sole custody of this kid to get him out in the "sunlight". His dad was awarded sole custody of him last August (2003) and shipped him off to a reform school where he was dried out and made to go to school again. He is now close to "graduating" from the program and getting to come home (he is still 2 1/2 years behind in school). He came home this weekend for a "home pass" and brought his journals (diary-type of book) home with him. He left them on a night table and when I was putting some clean clothes in his room (yes, I did the kid's laundry) I noticed them and browsed thru them. The entries are all the same (including and right up to this weekend when he came home) -- he is going to "kill us". His plans are to come home and stay as long as it takes to get his chance to get the combination to our home safe, rob and then kill both of us and he plans to "take off" on this great road journey.

I do not want this child in my house and have stated that flatly to his father. He has agreed but as of today has not done anything about it. You know the parents of the "Columbine School" kids just sat on their hands too.

1. Can we legally throw this 17 YO out on the street? (his mother may or may not take him in, I believe that she is scared of him too.) We can't afford to keep him in this reform school any longer and frankly I don't feel like contributing one more dime to this kid. I have to question the school, how good can it be after over a year of "therapy" and we have these results.

2.The kid won't work and has told his father he will "make him pay" and will "kill us both". In addition to his written journals, he has said this verbally in front of other people.

He turns 18 (in 9 more months). How do we cover ourselves legally and keep him out of our house.

1. Can we legally throw this 17 YO out on the street?

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No.

How do we cover ourselves legally and keep him out of our house.

You can, at this point, ship him to his mother's, call the police who can't do much because the threats are not verbalized or you can send him back to the school until he is 18 then change the locks on the doors.

OR, you can have him legally committed but that will take a long time and legal expenses.

Your first step is the police. But I doubt they can do much without a specific threat.

There is written and verbal threats (specific)!

Thanks for your insight. There is indeed specific threats! Both written and verbal (we made a copy of his little "hate book" - journal) He specifically writes that he "is going to kill my father"... "rape my WH*** stepmother and then slit her thoat", real little pearls of insight into his psychopath. He has also verbally threatened his father "I am going to kill you" in front of other people (witnesses).

I think we are dealing with a real psychopath (a teenage Charles Manson). We are meeting with an attorney at noon today to discuss options with this kid. I can tell you, he won't sleep in my house!

I don't blame you for being worried.

Post back after your meeting and let us know what happens.

And good luck.

I know now why I never had children myself

Well, we met with this attorney and we have some basic options:
1. Let the kid go back with his mother (if she will have him); This means he will have the "run" of her house again, most likely never get back in school and there you go.
2. If not, then keep him locked up in some school, somewhere until he is 18.

What bothers me is that from everything I have read and the little bit I have witnessed of this child's behavior he exhibits the classic signs of sociopath. He is:
Glib/superficial charm
Grandiose sense of self-worth
Needs stimulation, with a proneness to boredom
Pathological liar
Conning and manipulating behaviors
No sense of remorse or guilt
A very shallow emotional affect
A lack of empathy for others
Parasitic - No thoughts of getting a job or going to school on his own
Impulsive
Promiscuous
Can't form long-term plans that are realistic
Impulsive, and irresponsible
No responsibility for actions - someone else is always at fault
Total juvenile delinquent

This is him in a textbook!

I am really bothered by what I might have to face years down the road -- I can see me on Oprah saying "Yes, it tried to tell them (his father, his mother, the counselors, this attorney, etc.) that he was a psycho!

I asked his father, "what would you tell my mother (or any mother for that fact) at the funeral?" "Yes, I knew my kid had problems?" That's really lame.

WOW did I step into it!

The "correct" term is Antisocial Personality Disorder. There is no treatment. Counseling doesn't work b/c these people do not want help. They are manipulative and will do/say whatever it takes to convince people they are "normal." It is not the school's fault. Usually, APD's wind up in prison for most of their lives.

But, until he is 18, he will not be labeled as APD. There is a term for those under 18, but I can't recall it at the moment.

There is a term for those under 18, but I can't recall it at the moment.

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Pain in the FRIKKIN ass

As a teenager, the school calls it OPDD

OPDD (OPpositional Defiant Disorder) is what they call him at the reform school. You are correct, it becomes APD when he turns 18. The school also has basically washed their hands of him at this point. They say they have tried everything on him and he just can't be reached. Really encouraging, huh, when the reform school gives up on him. That is why they are turning him loose at the end of next month. He isn't making any progress in school either.

I think I shall buy him a jumpsuit (one with the black and white stripes on it) for Christmas so he can have his own when he gets back into "the system".